EVERYTHING seems to depend on my mood

[J-Man]

sometimes im in a bad mood. i try to be optomistic and smile etc. and i dont dwell on the negative or anything, but really, when youre in a ****ty mood, youre in a ****ty mood.

ive noticed that whenever im in a bad mood my success... with people in general is bad, but my skills with women are ALMOST NONEXISTANT. not that i become an AFC, but sort of a jerk. almost everything i say to women when im in a bad mood, no matter how hard i try or how much i dont try at all, has a HORRIBLE effect. its obvious on their faces that ive said something wrong. and i dont know why, nor could i figure it out for the life of me.

then there are great moods, such as earlier this week, on monday (yes monday ). i was in a really happy and good mood. along with it came super confidence, and everything i said and did, no matter WHAT, had an awesome effect. even talking to women online, i couldnt say anything wrong.

and i couldnt figure out what i was doing right, for the life of me.

another thing to note is that when im in a good mood like this, i dont even think about this site or anything FOR A SECOND. i dont think "say this, neg here, laugh here, remember to walk upright, touch now, blah blah blah..." when im in a good mood, this stuff comes NATURALLY to me. all of it. its amazing. monday night i was looking back at the day and thinking about this. it was like i had memorized the entire bible and i had mastered it for 8 years. all without even thinking about it. and, the part i find the hardest about improving myself, which is being witty and ****y and funny and resilient and spontanious, came easily to me. i wasnt even thinking, the words just came out. like i wasnt even me.

monday wasnt the only time this had happened before by the way. it had happened a few other times in my life.

this has given me some major insight. i think im truly beginning to "get it" (sorry david deangelo ).

i know that attracting women, being a man, being a DJ, life, etc. supposedly depends like 90% on the attitude. and until now ive agreed with that. but now im beginning to think its 45% attitude, 45% mood. maybe more mood.

i see that im great with women, people, and things in general when im in a good mood and bad with all of it when im in a bad mood. so the question is, how do i make myself in a good mood all the time? i really dont need this site: as long as im in a good mood it all happens naturally (or perhaps i just dont need this site anymore, and its only because ive changed myself and improved myself through this site that im like this when im in a good mood).

the experiment: this morning when i woke up i looked at myself in the mirror, forced a huge smile on my face, and ordered myself to be in a good mood and enjoy the day and be awesome in everything.

the results: i was in a much better mood today than usual, and noticed myself not thinking about trying to be a DJ and being much more successful. however, one might note that i skipped the first half of school today and slept in (im in high school). this, along with monday only a few days ago, might have had an effect on it. also, i was in a good mood, but not as good as monday.

if anyone else would like to contribute ideas/tips/opinions feel free.

i really think im sitting on PURE GOLD here. maybe even platinum . feel free to experiment along with me and become a natural don juan!

 

[Hemilaya_Playa]

Good job! What you call you "mood," we mASF'ers call your "state." Your state is the most important part of being a pick up artist. If you are not in state while trying to game a girl, you will come off as wierd or a "jerk" as you said. You are ABSOLUTELY right about everything coming naturally after you're in state. The best example I can give right now of being in state is... playing a video game. Sure when you start it you may be a little unsure of yourself, but as soon as you put in that invincibility code, you can do no wrong. Hopefully other will read this thread and learn from what you and I have said. I honestly believe that most of the AFC/rAFC/WAFC here have never even thought of this "state/mood" concept.

 

[duke007]

Mood is critically important, good post.
I can brush aside even bad news when my mood is happy (like today my podiatrist said I have the flattest feet he'd ever seen...meh, I thought it was funny ).

In my personal experience waking up early (but not too early) has something to do with it, and how much sleep you get make or break your 'state"

 

[Zendryn]

Yup its really important...

This state/mood thing works for me too.. When im happy and somehow high(not on drugs) I tend to be able to talk to women stuff.. basically have a good time.

When im not in a good mood, I find it close to impossible to start a convo, and even if one is started, impossible to continue.

 

[J-Man]

heh... good to see that im on the right track. or rather, ive figured everything out

i really want at least one person to disagree with me so i can hear another possible side however.

 

[Hemilaya_Playa]

If anyone disagrees with you, then they obviously have never left their own house, aka Keyboard Jockies.

 

[Lafarge]

Good post.

I know that if I am even slightly not in the right mood I scare everything off girl or guy. Ive looked at myself in the mirror when i am like this and I look like I am ready to take someone's head off

Recently I was at a dance party and i was so peeved for a very good reason (beyond this message) and this chick dancing near me and comes up aks to me whats my problem.

Yes you do need to be in the right mood. When i am 110% in my element I can do anything and end up hitting on the most high end, most stuck up, screwed in the head women

The trick is to know when to and how to get yourself from one mood to another particularly if your the type where by it can go either way.

A good way to handle with moods and stress is to do something physical that raises your adrenalin and runs you into the ground atleast once a week.

 

[J-Man]

Originally posted by Lafarge
The trick is to know when to and how to get yourself from one mood to another particularly if your the type where by it can go either way.

yes... thats the trick. but... how does one do it?

do something physical that will raise your adrenaline? like go skydiving? lol i mean can you give me some more examples or ideas?

EDIT: now that i think about it, i played basketball on monday, and i havent hooped in a while. hmm.

 

[Duke]

Originally posted by J-Man
i really think im sitting on PURE GOLD here. maybe even platinum . feel free to experiment along with me and become a natural don juan!

I think so, too, J-Man. I've been noticing this big time. Occasionally I'll wake up earlier than anyone in my family and sit in bed for a little while & let the sun pour in from my blinds, and I will feel absolutely EUPHORIC. It's like I'm literally high off a drug.

And for the next few hours, I feel fantastic and flowing and free. I must unconsciously put out a good aura, because other people respond well. Maybe I'm more relaxed, better eye contact, more firmness of speech, I'm not sure.

I have burned some "mood-enhancing" CDs that sometimes work, but I can't really point to anything that I KNOW OF that consistenly puts me in a great mood. There may be some things that always put me in a good mood that I'm not aware of.

I do believe that smiling helps. It's because smiling triggers a physiological response that brings on good feelings because they have been anchored to the smile.

I'd love to hear some more feedback on this issue, because I too believe it's one of the most vital, if not THE most vital factor of picking up chicks.

 

[smooth666]

You are 100% right!http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/images/icons/icon14.gif

It really depends a lot on the mood and I felt EXACTLY like you 6 months ago!

Here is how I got into a killer(positive) mood:
Being frustrated with my job and collegues, I decided to imagine I won a million dollars(to cheer me up). Then I focussed on all positive and really funny events I could think of in the past. PLUS: Most importantly, I smiled ALL the time.
I did this the whole day and did not even think about women,my job or other people. I avoided EC with people,because of the negative feedback they gave me when I was stressed out the months before. After a couple of hours I realized how nice all people would treat me. EVERYBODY smiled at me and was extra polite and nice. I took up EC and women(including 9 and 10s) flirted with me. I was THE MAGNET. My mood was contagious. I had the greatest felling and time of my whole life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Here are my thoughts about it:

a) People are insecure,check you out and mirror YOU!
The same collegues who have been the F*** to me the months before,when I had a bad time, ALL of a sudden became super-nice and approached me and sought my company.

b) Some people do not look "nice"
I am one of the guys,who do not look nice or sympathetic if they do not smile. I look a little to serious or intellectual or even agressive. This is because of years of frowning and thinking. This shaped my mimics.


c) A smile opens all doors!
A true smile(not just mimics but true happiness) is the greatest weapon you possess. You might know people whose appeareance make you smile right away. Their complexion is contagious.


d) The killer mood wears off!
Yes,I am sorry to say this. After a while your euphoric mood wears off.It is physiologically impossible to keep your endorphins at the euphoric level for all time. People will get "less" nice to you (they mirror you) and you get insecure and frustrated about this negative feedback
The worst case can be that you end up where you started.




Here is what I think you should do:

1) Think positively!

2) Stop thinking all the time.Do this by focussing on the moment(Check out meditation and ZEN philosophy for this).

3) Smile as much as you can(my facial muscles got really sore after a while, because I rarely used them). It will evenually be part of your face. (The smiling muscles will contract more than their counterparts)

4) Do the condioning I mentioned initially (think about positive and funny things).

5) DO NOT THINK: "Ok I will do this "4" for an hour and then I pick-up girls."

This does not work. Forget about the chicks and other people. YOU HAVE TO BE TRUELY HAPPY AND INDENDANT OF OTHER PEOPLE. If you do "4" persistantly it can take from 15 minutes to 2 or more days, so DO NOT WAIT FOR IT TO WORK.Once you do not expect it any more,it will suddenly work.

6) Do not try to force it:
If you are stressed because of an exam,other problems etc, these problems will subconsciously be there and you will very likely not succeed to get into the euphoric mood.

Practice the stuff in the DJ bible even if you are not in the euphoric mood and you think you will fail anyway. It helps so much to further your social skills.

Remember: The euphoric mood is a short term ultra-powerful state to be successful with women or people in general.It shows you what you are capable of, but it is nothing for long terms. You will need a change of attitude(positive,optimistic,self-fulfilled) which might take years. I am working on achieving this rather than putting my energy into getting EUPHORIC.

I would very much appreciate your thoughts about MOODS and the power of MIMICS.

Cheers!