"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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everything i want but not interested in guys...

C

chance

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sorry about this post but i just felt bored and wanted to get this off my chest... feel free to give out some opinions on this...

last year when i was studying a girl in the class attracted me... it was that she was HOT! she was more of the quiet type, shy too. she's 19 and it looked like she has never had a boyfriend before. she is pretty but doesn't like to stand out. she wears clothes that don't stand out (which is good. she's not an attention wh0re) - she'd lend me her stuff like cds to install stuff for homework, etc. she was nice to me.

she likes to read, cook, few sports... and animals. i remember back then when i'd say hello and tell her she had pretty eyes and look into them she'd walk away and get all shy and tell me to stop. (or she just didnt like it) - maybe that's why she's single... too shy and afraid. anyway, you dont find girls like this much these days... i can't really ignore that. what i'd like to know is why doesn't she want a boyfriend at the age of 19? on her msn profile it says she's single and not looking. i can bet you she's probably never had a real kiss before. maybe she just doesn't care about guys at all. i told her once after study... (i saw her at the bus station and sat next to her) that she should come see a movie with me one day... she asked what movie and where would we see it.. (sounded a lil interetsed there) but then she asked for my number instead and i stupidly gave it to her (i know i know... bad idea) - anyway is it so bad of me to chase up on her again?

i only have her msn which i just added... haven't talked to her since late november or so 2003. but i have seen her a few times out with her mother shopping and said hello (5/6 months ago perhaps was last time i saw her) - too tell you the truth. im just not interested in s|uts and wh0res no more. i want to settle down with a nice gal like her and you dont find these alot!

sorry about the long post... just had to get it off my chest. i've been single for a couple years cause i can't seem to find a nice girl to settle down with. any opinions about this girl? chase up or leave her alone?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Colossus

Colossus

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5 or 6 months is long time to have not spoken to her. It sounds to me like she may be rather religious or prudish. If she's "single and not looking" that may be a good indicator that she is sort of cold to the idea of dating. And chances are if she's 19 or 20 and never had a bf, she's really picky.

But if you really need to know for sure, you'll never know unless you try.
 
C

chance

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DrSoSuave,

it may seem i have a one-itis goin' on here but it's not like that at all. let me explain...

i was going through my bag and found the book i used for studying on in class and just happened to open it and her email was on it (from the time she gave it to me back in study time) - it just got me thinking that is all... thinking about how you don't meet these girls so often (non s|utty for once). why should i just forget about this? perhaps i should give it another shot.

Colossus,

i don't think she is picky at all. i don't even think she knows much about guys at all... maybe she's christian, maybe she's been brought up by strict parents... i seen her shopping with her mother even not long ago.

anyway, it was just something i was going over in my head. i re-added her on my msn list. it can't hurt to say hello, how are you? if goes well, then great, if not... big deal, i'll get over it - certainly can't hurt at all.

:)
 
Colossus

Colossus

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Originally posted by chance
DrSoSuave,

it may seem i have a one-itis goin' on here but it's not like that at all. let me explain...

i was going through my bag and found the book i used for studying on in class and just happened to open it and her email was on it (from the time she gave it to me back in study time) - it just got me thinking that is all... thinking about how you don't meet these girls so often. i don't think she is picky at all. i don't even think she knows much about guys at all... maybe she's christian, maybe she's been brought up by strict parents... i seen her shopping with her mother even not long ago.

anyway, it was just something i was going over in my head. i re-added her on my msn list. it can't hurt to say hello, how are you? if goes well, then great, if not... big deal, i'll get over it - certainly can't hurt at all.

:)
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Right on. Give it a shot. I know what you mean about meeting a different girl; a quiet, unspoiled girl. They catch your attention beacause they contrast so much w/ attention-loving barbies. :p
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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C

chance

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Originally posted by Colossus
Right on. Give it a shot. I know what you mean about meeting a different girl; a quiet, unspoiled girl. They catch your attention beacause they contrast so much w/ attention-loving barbies. :p
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that's cool that you understand. it's not THAT wise to pass up on these oppurtunities that don't come around often. s|uts are everywhere... they get boring and they piss me off with their attitude and games. sure it's fun to sex around with s|uts but bleh. time for a different taste.
 
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StringShredder

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"Not looking" in an online profile means "Yes, I'm a young girl with a profile here, but I don't want my inbox full of propositions from men."

I wouldn't infer too much more from that.

:)
 
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