everyone wants the same thing

[omkara]

love... acceptance... for you to make them to feel good about themselves. Otherwise a relationship will not form, even a casual one. At least this is my experience. If I go too hard on the aloof/a-hole persona, a relationship will not form. And I already do that naturally anyway, so it's not a stretch for me. I did it in my previous relationship before I even came to this forum.

I have been reading Assanova's blog and he highly advocates hospitality, just being normal and nice and social.

http://www.realmademen.com

A little different spin than the usual PUA. He was actually more successful with women before he learned about PUA, and then he kind of turned it around. He is pretty highly respected in blog circles, even though his blog never gets commented lol.

It stands to reason that on some level, a lot of what happens in seduction is common to both men and women. There are clashes of egos, and both not wanting to be vulnerable. But in a sense, a lot of the things that need to be there to form a relationship, such as affection, have to be there on both sides. Then you can kind of work in that dominance along with it. Well that's my realization anyway -- mostly from having done everything the wrong way and trying to be too aloof from the start.

 

[perseverance]

He speaks a lot of sense and I agree with a lot of what he said in the three or four articles I have read and his blog posts are definitely at odds with a majority of advice given to people on here.

I disagree with a lot of material posted on here and a lot of attitudes on here lead me to believe that the people posting the material are men who have been hurt by a woman/women and haven't gotten over it. The bitterness has set in and in doing so they've become low quality men who have developed techniques to score with low quality women and that's fine if you're happy having one night stands with women. However these men are screwed when it comes to developing a relationship with a woman and their material becomes useless and void. They might enter a relationship with a woman, but the woman will be a low quality who will ultimately hurt them and vice versa.

I believe you can be nice to women. You can treat women with respect, because there are lots of decent women around. However if you are bending over backwards for women and pandering to their every whim, you lack a backbone and you display yourself as easily exploitable and easily manipulated. However despite this I won't let a few bad apples sour the apple cart and I certainly don't want to be a thirty three year old man with an unhealthy bitterness towards the opposite sex who goes to clubs to practise PUA techniques on twenty something girls. That's not my scene.

I've never made it a secret that scoring with multiple women and having countless one night stands is not my thing. I'd much rather have a relationship, but that's just me. When I came to this site, I lacked confidence, I had a negative outlook on myself, I wasn't physically fit and I overanalysed things way too much because I'm quite the introvert. It was reading Pook's guide and in particular his advice on self improvement that really helped me along. I've become much more confident, I'm a lot more positive and having joined a gym and run outdoors I have become much more physically fit. I'm 7kg lighter now than I was this time last year. I feel much better for it and much more handsome too. I have also learned not to take things too seriously, not get disheartened when things with women don't work out and to know what I want and pursue it, accepting no substitutes along the way.

I'm now able to mess things up with a woman and not really care about it. I'm now able to look back on my interactions with women, laugh about those interactions and cringe with sheer embarrassment and it's something that I wasn't able to do this time last year. So this site is helpful, it's just ashame that there aren't more posters on here like Assanova because these are the types of men I would be willing to learn from and listen to.

 

[Thundernuts]

I have also read the book of pook. the way i look at it, instead of chaning who i am, i need to refine myself. I'm working on improving myself because im comfotable with who i am. When i was a hardcore afc, i had alot of low quality women. Now since im in such a transitional stage in my life i realize that women are the seconday and me living my life is the primary. Alot of men dont see this unfortunately. I guess it has something to do with our urge to reproduce.