"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Read more...

"Everyone needs to stop being such b!tches"

comic_relief

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Hey guys,

I'm back for quite a bit of time. Here is a tip that I learned that anyone can use.

I have a secret that I use that will get most girls interested.

Here it is.

be adventurous and have stories! Then make them qualify themselves to you!!!

Here is an example of it.

Target: HB8
Major: Elementary Education
Girl type: Shy

Convo Time:
Me: "Hi, I'm Kyle"
Her: "Hi, I'm HB8"
Me: "Well what do you like to do?"
Her: "Party from time to time. I like to listen to music, go out with friends, and a few other things."
Me: "Anything a little bit more dangerous?"
Her: "Like what?"
Me: "well, for example from my own personal life. Swimming with sharks, stingrays, and jellyfish or extreme sports?"
Her: "Nah, I don't have that type of life, it's pretty boring actually."
Me: "C'mon, you must have done something."
Her: "Not really, but it sounds fun"
Me: "Why don't you want to do anything very fun?"
Her: "It's scary, maybe if I had a big strong guy with me." *winks at me*
Me: "Haha, I plan on going out this year to go either hot air ballooning or bungee jumping."
Her: "Wow, I wish that I could do that. well, this one time, I did [tells a story which was a little bit adventurous]"
Me: "Just do it, the first time it is scary, but after that you will have a blast."
Her: "I got to run, but [dorm room and residence hall]."
Me: "Alright, I might come and visit you sometime soon."
Her: "I think I would like that. You seem like a fun person. ;)"

See the story had action stories in it (that was the cliff notes version of it because our conversation was actually 25 minutes long). These types of stories actually intrigue people. I use the same type of personality on everyone from high up government officials to college students to hollywood types. It always works and gets people laughing.

Once you get people to laugh and open up, you are already halfway through. Just close the fvcken deal, if you choose to. Personally, I don't like scared people to hang out with. I refuse to date girls that don't get out of their comfort zones like her that much. I probably won't date her or anything especially since I don't like that type of personality. Some of you DJs out there are probably screaming at me right now, "FVCK HER YOU IDIOT!!!" I look for one personality type and I look for it.

I think I found it just now and am seeing where it is going. so far, so good. But I used the same technique.

Make yourself interesting and have stories, and just tell them. Make people laugh (I was the hottest commodity at the speed dating event because I made every girl that I met laugh. A lot of them still want to go out with me. Hell one girl, whom I haven't talked to in almost a year still smiles and waves at me).

comic_relief
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

Read more...

Play the Game

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Seems like common sense to me... Why would u ever do anything else. :yes:
 

THE_ADDMAN

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nice job, comic_relief
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

izza

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I have gotten away from extraordinary stories in my life. I don't really like to tell them anymore. I mean, extraordinary things have happened to me: I've lived in three countries, I've traveled, I speak French and a few other languages. I've seen my friend get beat up by police, etc.

But I feel like anyone can tell an extraordinary story. I go to a bar on a Friday, and I see a bunch of guys telling extraordinary stories, trying to one-up each other about how drunk they were last weekend (I hate "I-was-so-drunk-I..." stories, they bore me to tears). Stories about only nonordinary events mark a mediocre storyteller in my mind.

I love to hear people that make ordinary stories and MAKE THEM interesting. Have you ever heard somebody who could talk about going to a laundromat, and somehow it's fascinating. For me, I am amazed by people like that.

I believe their secret is expression. If every detail of their trip to a laundromat expresses who they are, I feel transfixed. I feel like I know that person. It's amazing.

That's what I detest about extraordinary stories. They are not "about" the person, they are about the event. What interests me, and I think what interests women, is people. Not extraordinary events, people. We always talk about how women love to feel. And we all say that women love to "uncover who we are." And yet we tell extraordinary stories about being so drunk we flicked off a police officer.

Maybe these stories do invoke a feeling. But I deplore stories that are not about Jim flicking off a police officer, they are about "drunk Jim" doing so. Ultimately, such a story says nothing about Jim, but about alcohol. So really, I don't know Jim any better for hearing the story, except that Jim drinks irresponsibly. Past that, Jim's judgment is impaired, I don't know him any better.

How dull.

I like stories that make me feel as though I know a person.

I like ordinary stories. I'm not saying I like boring stories. I like interesting, ordinary stories.

1.) I feel like I know the person better.
2.) They take more art, they demonstrate more storytelling skill
3.) A person who tells ordinary stories conveys confidence to me, because the story demonstrates self-confidence. Why? Because such a story says to me, "I believe my everyday life is interesting."
3.) Extraordinary stories do not convey to me the uniqueness of one's person.

Extraordinary stories do not convey to me the uniqueness of one's personality.

Everybody would be afraid of having a gun in their face, or embarrassed at flicking off a police officer. Such a fact does not interest me inherently... because everybody on the planet is the exact same way! There is no uniqueness.

If someone says to me, "I feel terrified every time I buy whipping cream." I stop in my tracks. That is expressive. I have to know why a person would be afraid of whipping cream. I am hooked.

I don't like boring stories. But I believe normal stories can be interesting. I used to believe that ordinary stories were boring, but this was because I thought my life was boring. Once I began liking my life, I began telling interesting ordinary stories.

This reflects my personal taste. I'm not saying everyone's taste is like this. I do believe that a point of view like this is not heard very often on this board, however.

So as for this original post, I think it's great to say, "I love bunji jumping." Because that expresses something unique about you. Not everybody loves bunji jumping. I do sort of suspect that your love of extreme sports stems from a belief that your every day life is boring. But then again, I hate extreme sports and I believe my every day life is boring. :)

In any case, I definitely stay away from extraordinary stories in my expressions.

I work in child welfare. I don't work with the clients, but I read the fantastic reports. I have so many extraordinary stories you would flip out. But when people ask me about my job, I keep everything focused on me. From me fascinating a table yesterday:

"I work for *Agency*. I read these reports of children getting raped and molested, and I want to cry about once a week. But other times, I read reports where a field worker does a fabulous job of caring for some client, saying, 'We're here because we care about you, and we want you to be safe.' Those times I cry tears of joy, and I walk around with a sad smile for the rest of the day. I think the hardest part about my job is that with every report I read, I feel more and more in awe of the people who work with these traumatized and angry children. I feel like I couldn't do their job; not without getting depressed, or angry, or just quitting outright. I used to think I was so tough, but now I realize that I'm not so tough, and I have so much growing to do. I admire these people so much, I can't even express it to you. I thought I never gave a crap about helping people. But now that I am, even in my small, pathetic way, I never want to stop."

Most guys I know don't express their emotions. From my experience, they may want to consider starting. All the women at the table were like, "aww, aww, aww." I feel like all I had to do from there was express a happy part of my personality, and they would have been already shipped and packaged, they'd have been so sold. I ran out of the time though.

Maybe the job is extraordinary, I don't know. But I do know that I kept the focus of the conversation on what makes me unique. Maybe that helped, maybe this doesn't apply to anybody reading this. I couldn't say for sure. I would say that expression is the best thing I have found in years.

Much love to all,

Fo' Shizza
 

comic_relief

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Izza,

I agree with you, but I also always have a wonderful life with unique stories, or I do amazing things with it.

Like I will talk about my trips to Florida and all over the place, but most of the time, it is about the stupid things that I do around campus. Everyone says that they are amazed that I would have done that.

I also talk about my past in which there was a lot of bullying. It makes my stories unique and to the point as well.

I usually use the story as a spring board to more conversation. Like they say, "I wouldn't have been able to do that." I ask why and then ask them what kind of scary/exciting things they have done.

It's a lot of fun.

comic_relief
 

izza

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CR,

That's cool man. I'm sure you charm ladies better than I do anyway :D

Following the ideas of Juggler, I have gotten away from asking any questions at all. He says, "don't ask questions, make statements." And like a good social robot, I have programmed myself to go out there, and not ask a single question. In fact, I don't talk much about the girl until she starts to open up and I really start to like her personality. Then I will "suddenly notice" that she is great. Well, actually, I guess it's not really a technique. Usually it's true. I do suddenly notice. Until then, I just talk about how I feel about stuff ("Free Cone day is my favorite day of the year, I am madly in love with this elm tree... etc.)

My thinking is, when a woman is warmed up enough, it's not like I can get her to stop talking anyway.

If she's not participating enough, I throw in a few hooks and leading questions to make sure she's participating (following Juggler's 90-10% rule, again, like a well instructed social robot).

That's cool about your crazy stories. I'm sure what you do is more effective than what I do right now. The reason I don't talk about extraordinary things is I get bored of telling the same story over and over again. I'm not a very crazy guy, either, so I really don't have many extraordinary stories. What I like about learning to tell ordinary stories well is that I never run out of material. And I learn something about myself nearly every time.

One thing I like about them over the long term is that learning to tell ordinary stories allows me to think out loud and not lose the interest of the girl.

In other words, I learn to be myself and be interesting. Forever. Or at least I'm hoping for a much longer duration.

Before, when I focused on extraordinary stories, I was meting them out to my ex-LTR like teaspoons of water in a desert. I probably have more extraordinary stories than the average chap (I've lived in three countries), but I still only have a limited number. And once I ran out, I was going to be out of "material" until I did something new and crazy.

What I love about learning how to tell ordinary stories well is that I'm never out of material. In fact, these days I never tell extraordinary stories because more and more, I'm finding ordinary things more effective and expressive (that is, they express who I really am).

I'm sure you already tell ordinary stories very well. And probably express yourself better than I do. I'm not - at all - saying you don't already know these things. I'm just relating realizations that I've had recently. For most of them, you're probably saying to yourself:

Oh my Gawd, that is, like, sooooo 1997.

With adjustment for the Milnersville accent (accompanied by Banjo, perhaps. Well you tell me. I'm just teasing, no banjo.)

Much love and my best wishes to you,

Izza

PS I have some stories of bullying, and I like to talk about that sort of thing. They really express who I am and are usually interesting. We definitely both use that kind of material.

Izza


comic_relief said:
Izza,

I agree with you, but I also always have a wonderful life with unique stories, or I do amazing things with it.

Like I will talk about my trips to Florida and all over the place, but most of the time, it is about the stupid things that I do around campus. Everyone says that they are amazed that I would have done that.

I also talk about my past in which there was a lot of bullying. It makes my stories unique and to the point as well.

I usually use the story as a spring board to more conversation. Like they say, "I wouldn't have been able to do that." I ask why and then ask them what kind of scary/exciting things they have done.

It's a lot of fun.

comic_relief
 

comic_relief

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izza said:
That's cool about your crazy stories. I'm sure what you do is more effective than what I do right now. The reason I don't talk about extraordinary things is I get bored of telling the same story over and over again. I'm not a very crazy guy, either, so I really don't have many extraordinary stories. What I like about learning to tell ordinary stories well is that I never run out of material. And I learn something about myself nearly every time.
Haha, thanks man.

I like to create crazy stories everyday. As a hook though to demonstrate value in the beginning, the crazy stories work well. This is one crazy story that I have had.

I was out in the middle of campus and walking with two friends. My other friend called us up. She wanted to meet with us. We waited for about ten minutes so I called her up, "Yo, Harbold Ho what the hell are you doing. Move your @$$!!! We are moving on without you." She got pissed at that statement.

We started to walk away. She began walking out of the hall that she was at and calling us telling us to stop. We refused because the one person was trying to get to his car and back on the highway so we went onward.

I saw her walking toward us and turned around. "MOVE YOUR @$$ HO!!! YOU AIN'T GONNA CATCH US LIKE THAT!!!" during this conversation, I was sticking up both middle fingers up at her and laughing with my other two friends. She started to run. I knew I was in trouble after that one.

So, I ran and jumped into a tree. All of my friends were laughing at me for this. She came up to the tree and started to scream. Convo Time:
Her: "Damnit Kyle, you have to come down here sometime and I'm going to kick your @$$."
Me: "No, but it sounds kinky"
Her: "You get down here"
Me: *finds a giant stick in the tree* "Take this" *jabs her with the stick in the stomach*
Her: "Hey, you @$$hole." *grabs stick, but couldn't keep grasp*
President of the University: *walks by and looks up* "What are you doing, Kyle?"
Me: "Getting away from this person. She is upset with me :rolleyes: "
President of the University: "I know you too well and you probably do know it. How about neither of you do anything to each other."
Me: "Fine"
Her: "Fine"
President of the University: "How about you come to the girls softball game with us?"
Me: "Alright"
President of the University: *leaves*
Her and girlfriend: "You know the president of the university so well that she knows you by first name?"
Me: "Yeah, when you know me sh!t gets done"

That is actually a pretty normal day when all of us hang out. Something like this will happen everytime.

Its a normal story, but yet it would be a extrodinary and crazy to most people. I'm what would be considered the nicest bad boy that you would ever meet.

comic_relief
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

izza

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CR,

That's cool. I'm sure what you're doing works well.

Maybe I have a particular kind of problem. As I said above, probably several times, I have lived in Canada and France, traveled Europe and been to Africa, I speak French fluently and speak a smattering of other languages. I was a chess champion and am a professional pianist, singer, and music arranger (as well as working for a child welfare agency).

When I meet a woman, I'm afraid she'll be interested in the things I've done, which are extraordinary. I don't want that.

I want people to find me interesting without knowing all these things. I don't know how to explain this feeling: those things aren't me.

I feel no doubt that women are more interested in me because of my "qualifications." I feel nearly every woman's interest go up when I mention any one of those things. But I don't want that; it's a crutch. I don't want to sell my exotic experience. It's not who I am.

I want to sell how I feel and interact with every day situations.

I used to feel like I had to do crazy stuff to interest people. But I realized that I just saw myself as fundamentally boring. I'm not boring. Not at all. But the art for my life is packaging my true, normal self into something that is highly attractive.

I went to a photo exhibition I went to recently. It was photos of every day things. Fire hydrants, garages, parked cars. And even though individual object in the photo was mundane, the picture as a whole was beautiful. And to me its beauty was all the more impressive BECAUSE these were just every day things.

I seek that in my stories, that they be even more impressive and real and concrete and expressive by being nominally mundane.

It is easy to take a great picture of a sunset. Look on the internet, and you'll see 1,000,000 great pictures of a sunset. How many great pictures will you see of a fire hydrant? Making the mundane attractive is a higher art. And a great skill.

I'm not saying you should do like me. It sounds like what you're doing works great. I am just explaining what I aim for and why.

I know what you mean about extraordinary things slipping out. Talking about France, French, music is just my normal life, so it tends to come out when I'm in a social bind, to keep things interesting. Or it's just on my mind, so I talk about it. I wish I would keep the subject more ordinary, though. I feel like I have a more interesting personality when people love to hear me talk about normal things.

I know that extraordinary stories can be told with a higher art as well. I also just want to feel like women would be just as interested in me if I had never left my hometown.

Come to think of it, that would be an interesting experiment: I should go to a bar, and tell everyone that I've never been outside my hometown, say I don't care what it's like out there. Pretend not to speak a word of any foreign language. And say I love Bush (very liberal city). If a girl likes me then, we'll know I have "a great personality" (yes, I'm a little overweight) :)

I'm not even sure if I pick up women for the sex anymore. I think I just want the compliment that I have an attractive personality.

Negging

Also, I have dropped all push/pull, ****y/funny, sarcasm or negging from my game. I guess it's conceivable that I just never did these things well. But my opinion is that all of this "secret of the a$$hole" mojo is a hideous crutch. It worked from time to time for me, but I always felt like women dated me despite that negging, not because of it.

In any case, negging doesn't get me where I want to go. I want a woman to like me for how I feel about the world around me. Even if negging works, which I don't think it does (it seems to me that it comes off as insecure), it doesn't express who I am. It is too "about the girl." I want a girl to like me for me, not because I masturbate her mind with what I see as stupid tricks. My goal is to get her to be interested in me. So we talk about me.

I used to think who I really am is too boring for a girl to be interested in. So I definitely would have laughed if someone had recommended talking about my emotions to me.

I can't express the kind of change just expressing how I feel has had in my life. Before, a profound conversation was a very rare thing. Now that I tell everybody how I feel all the time - I just think out loud - I'm having profound 15 second elevator conversations. That is what I fvcking call rapport building.

I used to just make jokes. But I cannot build that kind of rapport with jokes or extraordinary stories.

Also, I get so tired of jokes. When I didn't know how to express how I felt, all I made was jokes. My guess is that 90% of guys think a good relationship is built on funny jokes or mutual negging. I just find that so shallow and isolating. I display confidence and build rapport by expressing my emotions. Eventually other people open up and express theirs. I love the magic in the air at a moment like that. A connection. This isn't a strategy for me. I love to do it.

Also, we say women love to feel, but I have never heard a guy on this board say "talk about your emotions." If women are feel-a-holics like we say, I just don't understand why we aren't talking about our emotions more. I am always amazed how women seem to "wake up" every time I express an emotion.

Oh I should mention that I do believe I have deeper conversations about banal things, than I would around extraordinary things.

Maybe what you do builds an even deeper rapport or connection. I'm just saying what has been kicking a$$ for me.

I got a stranger's phone number yesterday without approaching her. Crap, I want to call her to hang out after work tomorrow, but I still feel really nervous. Stupid telephone, I wish we still communicated by smoke signal. Oh my god, I feel so worried!!

What if she says no? What if she is busy? Gah, I hate being nervous!

Much love,

Izza
 
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comic_relief

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bump

comic_relief
 

Styles

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This is an awesome post! I hope people don't get the purpose of it twisted: it's not about having stories so you can be over people, or that they have to qualify themselves...

It's simply to do it and have the adventure. Then it is real. You actually had the adventure, and people end up qualifying themselves automatically...! There is no technique involved, it is the truth!

The people qualifying themselves is the effect. You could say this is a "technique". However, even if you think of it this way, you will find the focus come off of the people who are impressed and more onto yourself and the adventure and the world that you are a part of. It's more a lifestyle than a technique. A lifestyle with a pair of balls on it, that's all.
 

izza

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Styles, I'm curious to know how your own style matches or doesn't match my replies to this post. Thanks for sharing your style,

Izza
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Styles

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hey Izza

As a 20 year old I have been all over the eastern US and as west as Ohio, and been to the Bahamas.

But even like you say: ordinary stories can be exciting, because opportunity for adventure is in everything.

But people see a change in my walk, in the expression on my face, because I wake up and run a mile everyday. That's an adventure in itself because I may see some hot woman running at the park or playing with her dog

I recently switched jobs so I can start to phase in music as my occupation. Music makes me happy, and I meet alot of girls through music. Either in the audience or part of another band. So going from city to city, I have a wonderful opportunity of having waves of women in my vision. And being on stage and then coming off, I am already in a position of attraction.

In my regular life as just plain ol Styles the student and employee, people see the happiness and confidence that I get from my musical endeavors and ask why are you so bouncy, or why are you talking to her, you've never talked to her...

boom, they automatically are qualifying themselves to me because they think I have something they don't. So I have to tell them. And Any girl that hears I am a musician and singer and rapper is already attracted.

I don't have to go around to all my friends and tell them about what I am doing, because they will get mad that they are working at Khol's or a warehouse, and get jealous or sad. And its not my job to make people jealous or sad, it is to make myself happy, a better man, and a better musician. When it comes to the point where I am traveling all over the US because of music, then it will get really nasty.
 

izza

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Styles said:
hey Izza

As a 20 year old I have been all over the eastern US and as west as Ohio, and been to the Bahamas.

But even like you say: ordinary stories can be exciting, because opportunity for adventure is in everything.

But people see a change in my walk, in the expression on my face, because I wake up and run a mile everyday. That's an adventure in itself because I may see some hot woman running at the park or playing with her dog

I recently switched jobs so I can start to phase in music as my occupation. Music makes me happy, and I meet alot of girls through music. Either in the audience or part of another band. So going from city to city, I have a wonderful opportunity of having waves of women in my vision. And being on stage and then coming off, I am already in a position of attraction.

In my regular life as just plain ol Styles the student and employee, people see the happiness and confidence that I get from my musical endeavors and ask why are you so bouncy, or why are you talking to her, you've never talked to her...

boom, they automatically are qualifying themselves to me because they think I have something they don't. So I have to tell them. And Any girl that hears I am a musician and singer and rapper is already attracted.

I don't have to go around to all my friends and tell them about what I am doing, because they will get mad that they are working at Khol's or a warehouse, and get jealous or sad. And its not my job to make people jealous or sad, it is to make myself happy, a better man, and a better musician. When it comes to the point where I am traveling all over the US because of music, then it will get really nasty.
Hey Styles,

Thanks for the response. I like how music makes you happy, and that is the basis for your success. When I started playing music, I would say I played about 90% for the chances of getting women haha, so you're already off to a way better start than I was.

You will probably view this as a strange way of thinking. But I have found recently that being a musician just makes getting women too easy. I just feel bored. Besides, working in child welfare and doing all these music things on the side, there's just not that much challenge left when I start having a normal conversation with a girl. And I feel like my life is just too darn interesting (not kidding).

In order to make attraction more challenging, I have begun saying I work in "data entry" (which is partially true, it just leaves out all the interesting stuff I do), and I leave off the music stuff. As for France and all my travels in Europe and foreign languages, I kind of leave that off on the side too. I can't really think of a way to get around where I went to school. Everyone asks and I don't want to lie but I did go to college in a very interesting place.

Hmm. I don't know what to do. I would appreciate a suggestion.

I think another piece of the problem is that I love talking about where I went to school... I guess I may need to stop.

Point is, being a musician makes it all too easy. :) I need challenges.

Iz
 

izza

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Styles said:
hey Izza

As a 20 year old I have been all over the eastern US and as west as Ohio, and been to the Bahamas.

But even like you say: ordinary stories can be exciting, because opportunity for adventure is in everything.

But people see a change in my walk, in the expression on my face, because I wake up and run a mile everyday. That's an adventure in itself because I may see some hot woman running at the park or playing with her dog

I recently switched jobs so I can start to phase in music as my occupation. Music makes me happy, and I meet alot of girls through music. Either in the audience or part of another band. So going from city to city, I have a wonderful opportunity of having waves of women in my vision. And being on stage and then coming off, I am already in a position of attraction.

In my regular life as just plain ol Styles the student and employee, people see the happiness and confidence that I get from my musical endeavors and ask why are you so bouncy, or why are you talking to her, you've never talked to her...

boom, they automatically are qualifying themselves to me because they think I have something they don't. So I have to tell them. And Any girl that hears I am a musician and singer and rapper is already attracted.

I don't have to go around to all my friends and tell them about what I am doing, because they will get mad that they are working at Khol's or a warehouse, and get jealous or sad. And its not my job to make people jealous or sad, it is to make myself happy, a better man, and a better musician. When it comes to the point where I am traveling all over the US because of music, then it will get really nasty.
Hey Styles,

Thanks for the response. I like how music makes you happy, and that is the basis for your success. When I started playing music, I would say I played about 90% for the chances of getting women haha, so you're already off to a way better start than I was.

You will probably view this as a strange way of thinking. But I have found recently that being a musician just makes getting women too easy. I just feel bored. Besides, working in child welfare and doing all these music things on the side, there's just not that much challenge left when I start having a normal conversation with a girl. And I feel like my life is just too darn interesting (not kidding).

In order to make attraction more challenging, I have begun saying I work in "data entry" (which is partially true, it just leaves out all the interesting stuff I do), and I leave off the music stuff. As for France and all my travels in Europe and foreign languages, I kind of leave that off on the side too. I can't really think of a way to get around where I went to school. Everyone asks and I don't want to lie but I did go to college in a very interesting place.

Hmm. I don't know what to do. I would appreciate a suggestion.

I think another piece of the problem is that I love talking about where I went to school... I guess I may need to stop.

Point is, being a musician makes it all too easy. :) I need challenges.

Iz
 

Donsing

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Izza, I love you man. See, what you have been doing for a long time I been trying to do that lately, and your post has motivated me to continue. I know that everything we do can be an adventure, and the adventure could be cleaning your room to sitting on your couch and doing nothing. But I think the first step is to start appreaciating myself including the things I like and dislike about myself, and then starting to appreaciate my life. Second step would be automatic, I think, I will start being more interested in myself and my life. And so the vicious circle will continue. What do you think, Izza? This sounds fun.:cool:
 

izza

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Donsing said:
Izza, I love you man. See, what you have been doing for a long time I been trying to do that lately, and your post has motivated me to continue. I know that everything we do can be an adventure, and the adventure could be cleaning your room to sitting on your couch and doing nothing. But I think the first step is to start appreaciating myself including the things I like and dislike about myself, and then starting to appreaciate my life. Second step would be automatic, I think, I will start being more interested in myself and my life. And so the vicious circle will continue. What do you think, Izza? This sounds fun.:cool:
*flattered* thanks so much Donsing. I am so happy you were able to find something you liked or could use from my experience.

I am not exactly sure what aspect of the things I posted above you are referring to ("this is what I've been doing for a long time.") but if it's working and you're having fun from hello to breakfast, keep doing it :)

I think you're absolutely right that adventure is everywhere. Interesting people realize this. They don't just find drama in small things, they bring others into that drama, that fullest appreciation of life. And that is their magnetism.

Any guy can show a girl an amazing time at a mountain range. How many guys do you know who can show a girl a great time in a dirty bar, or sitting on a street corner? I am definitely not at that level yet, but that's what I'm striving for.

I figure it is way less powerful to show another person an extraordinary world, than it is to show them the extraordinariness of the ordinary world. I view it as nothing less than a gift of life.

I'm glad to hear things are going the way you want them to. I have begun to believe that it is easy to get women, but it is hard to actually enjoy and desire every step of the process.

Izza
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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