"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Everyone else talks to her, I'm staying mysterious...

B

baurman

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jul 20, 2006
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Thanks for the advice, guys.

I most likely won't be working there for long anyway. So I've already kinda figured out what I'm going to tell her. If it works out then good for me, if not, then at least I tried and Next.

I decided I'm just going to be straight up with her. I pretty much broke common ground with her, asking her the basic questions and things where we are comfortable of talking to each other. So I'm just going to say it straight out "Look, I'm probably not going to be working here much longer so lets go out sometime, grab some lunch, get to know each other sometime." See what she says. If she rejects me, fine. If she's game, then I'll ask for her number "Let me get your number in case I need to give you a call."
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Y

young_gun

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 9, 2004
Messages
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Well I think that instead of saying "Let's get lunch together sometime" you should try to make more definite plans. When is sometime? Today? Tomorrow? Next week?

And I probably wouldn't say "Let me get your number in case I need to give you a call". Don't get me wrong, she'll give it to you, but I would ask for it at the end of your lunch / drinks. Say something along the lines of "I had a really great time with you. Let me give you a call when I have some free time. What's your number?"

I think that would set up a better dynamic than "Let me get your number in case I need to give you a call." That makes it sound like she's going to pick you up from detox or something. LOL
 
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