everyone can't be an alpha

[metoo]

be definition, it means the one pair of male/female in the pack that is allowed to breed. the pack can't support more than one litter of pups. If any occur, they starve, or the alphas kill and eat them. If you're not an alpha, the odds are very badly against you ever becoming one. In a dog pack, all have to be ready to 'step up" and become the alpha, if the original is hurt, sick, or dies. the way modern society is, the alphas not only don't get out of the way, they actively (in many cases) do their level best to screw up as many betas as possible. It's going to take massive effort for you to overcome betaness. That's why I say get a black belt, become a Class A combat match competitor, and go overseas for a woman, where your mere US citizenship makes you special, lets you take your pick of women.

 

[Warrior74]

what is alpha?

There are as many definitions of Alpha as there are posters on this forum. Expect resistance yah?

This is why I don't advocate becoming "alpha" you have to just become your best. It's a life long struggle and it's only with yourself. Comparisons, concerns and competition with others is not the way forward.

 

[betheman]

There will only ever be one fairy on top of the christmas tree!
the alpha mindset I struggle with, I firmly beleive men shoudl be men, be focused, determined, integral but this alpha thing...reeks of outright selfishness that borders on psychopathy!
im in the process of ending a relationship, she is a nice woman, not the demon women are portrayed as, she took it hard, physical trembling, shock etc..I cant deal with that sh!te, it gets to me, I hate being a c unt, = I cant be alpha?

 

[Boilermaker]

There are as many definitions of Alpha as there are posters on this forum. Expect resistance yah?

This is why I don't advocate becoming "alpha" you have to just become your best. It's a life long struggle and it's only with yourself. Comparisons, concerns and competition with others is not the way forward.

with all due respect to a deep thinker like you, the question is valid.
The OP's premise is very strong and logical. Not everybody is meant to be, or can be the "prime movers" in a given group. It comes from the basic observation of this: In any distribution there will be a tail which will be populated by a small fraction of the entire population. When you associate "alpha" with that tail, OP's argument becomes self-evident.

And I DO agree that, a lot of those people in the middle of the Gaussian can move forward to become alphas, but they never will. Again for statistical reasons.

So even if you come forward with the 'focus on yourself' paradigm, his basic point will stand.

Just my opinion, don't rip me open over this with your superior skills.

 

[Burroughs]

OP is right, few will truly stand at the mountain top looking down at the rest....the real question is.

what can you do about it?

One thing is for sure...fatalistic thinking is the surest thing that will keep you down.

 

[Warrior74]

with all due respect to a deep thinker like you, the question is valid.
The OP's premise is very strong and logical. Not everybody is meant to be, or can be the "prime movers" in a given group. It comes from the basic observation of this: In any distribution there will be a tail which will be populated by a small fraction of the entire population. When you associate "alpha" with that tail, OP's argument becomes self-evident.

And I DO agree that, a lot of those people in the middle of the Gaussian can move forward to become alphas, but they never will. Again for statistical reasons.

So even if you come forward with the 'focus on yourself' paradigm, his basic point will stand.

Just my opinion, don't rip me open over this with your superior skills.

"a given group". That's the problem with the alpha definition. Which given group? A pack of nerds, a pack of gear heads, a pack of PUAs? You might be alpha in one group and not in another, we aren't dogs/wolves. We are multifaceted. Bill Gates is never gonna be considered alpha amongst MMA fighters. He might get some respect, but he won't be considered top dog. And both men are going to have women attracted to them. Hell in a group of janitors there is an alpha. Which reminds me of something my dad used to say, "the rich man has a wife, and the poor man has a wife".

 

[Desdinova]

I honestly can't think about the whole "alpha" mindset. I can't go around shoving those who get in my way, nor can I tell the most fascinating stories in a group, and I don't have a laugh that echoes across the room. All I make sure I do is take action. I take action when I approach, I take action when I get the digits, I take action when I use kino, and I take action when setting up an interesting and fun first date.

Most of the guys in the world CANNOT do this confidently and easily. They fumble asking for a girl's digits, they avoid touching her thinking she'll be offended, and they won't ask her out because they're afraid she'll say she has a boyfriend.

I believe it's all about action, confidence, and kino.

 

[backbreaker]

I agree with warrior and desinova 100%.

OP is right, few will truly stand at the mountain top looking down at the rest....the real question is.

what can you do about it?

One thing is for sure...fatalistic thinking is the surest thing that will keep you down.

Napolean Hill is a proponet of something called accurate thinking. This is one of the few things that seperate the successful from the unsuccessful in life. What does accureate thinking mean? simply put, it means, first having the abilty to separeate facts from non facts, and only deal with factual information.

more importantly however, and this is where i am leading to, is it is the abilty to seperate important facts from irrivalant facts.

this is what you would call an irrivant fact.

is it true that there is only one alpha in a group? sure, but there isn't anything you can do about it, realistikcy, becuase even if you become alpha in one sense, you won't be "alpha" in the other as warrior pointed out.

All you can do is become the best you. Comparing yourself to anyone is an irrivlant fact.


Don't make this **** harder than it has to be. It's hard enough to erase what we were programmed as it is. don't defeat yourself before you even start the game

write down some goals, start workign on them, hit the gym, put a wardrobe together, talk to women. some will say no, some will say yes. the more experience you get the more that wills say yes. that's it in a nutshell.

 

[synergy1]

this whole "being alpha" thing is a stretch for me as well. You get guys who are at the top of their pack, but by that definition, you also need to have the rest of the guys. Its simply the structure our society has adopted since the beginning.

*whoever said the distribution of abilities was a Gaussian ( normal) is incorrect. That would assume an equal distribution about a mean - there are far fewer who are good than bad. It'd have to be a Poisson where you have a few at the top and most everyone else at the bottom. Think wealth distribution. *

I personally don't care how 'alpha' I am. The concept makes sense, and following it as a guide is helpful, but I think this community stresses it too much. someone who preoccupies themselves with being #1 and tries too hard will most certainly not enjoy the same success as someone who follows the idea as an outline, but actually works and focuses on themselves instead.

Over complicating things gives people and excuse to mentally exhaust themselves without doing anything. Instead of doing, they think. "well this isnt alpha, you gotta do this..". No, **** that. Just get out there and win. I could care less how alpha it is...

 

[PokerStar]

alpha male = confident man.

 

[backbreaker]

alpha male = confident man.

I think there are 2 terms of alpha

when we on the forum talk about being alpha, well when they as I don't use that term that much,we mean, basically not being a chump.

when people on the orum use the term alpha it's usually not in the context of being the dominant male in the vicinity. It just means be a man and not a chump.

 

[st_99]

I think there are 2 terms of alpha

when we on the forum talk about being alpha, well when they as I don't use that term that much,we mean, basically not being a chump.

when people on the orum use the term alpha it's usually not in the context of being the dominant male in the vicinity. It just means be a man and not a chump.

for practical purposes thats how I view being "alpha" Not being a chump.

To me, beta male means you just don't get it, you let the females run your emotions, dominate you, suplicate, are afraid of losing her, etc.. and so alpha would be the opposite of that.

 

[zekko]

when we on the forum talk about being alpha, well when they as I don't use that term that much,we mean, basically not being a chump.

I agree a lot of guys define alpha that way, although I think that is very incorrect. The very nature of the term implies that it means the top male.

If you want to say "confident male" vs. "chump", then DJ vs. AFC works much better IMO.

Warrior is right that society is complicated. We live in all these different subgroups, and we may be alpha in some, and not in others.

 

[Rubirosa]

I think that the true definition of "Alpha male" can olny be applied to caveman times...There are just too many variables in modern society for a man to encompass all aspects of Alphaness.
We all know of the rich executive boss guy who gets nervous around females and resorts to romantic chumpiness in order to build attraction.
We all know of the badass who can knock your head off in a fight, but can't hold down a job and continues to live in poverty....

 

[Warrior74]

I think that the true definition of "Alpha male" can olny be applied to caveman times...There are just too many variables in modern society for a man to encompass all aspects of Alphaness.
We all know of the rich executive boss guy who gets nervous around females and resorts to romantic chumpiness in order to build attraction.
We all know of the badass who can knock your head off in a fight, but can't hold down a job and continues to live in poverty....

Right. It becomes some Nietzschean Übermensch fantasy. Saying not everyone can be alpha is like saying not everyone can be rich. So? What do you do after that? Do you quit? Do you try to make the best of it? What do you do then? Rarely is the person stating basic axioms providing answers for those they choose to enlighten. In this case the answer is to run to some third world country and never come back. For many of us that isn't an option.

 

[guru1000]

Increase your testosterone.

 

[Zunder]

There will only ever be one fairy on top of the christmas tree!
the alpha mindset I struggle with, I firmly beleive men shoudl be men, be focused, determined, integral but this alpha thing...reeks of outright selfishness that borders on psychopathy!
im in the process of ending a relationship, she is a nice woman, not the demon women are portrayed as, she took it hard, physical trembling, shock etc..I cant deal with that sh!te, it gets to me, I hate being a c unt, = I cant be alpha?

Yep. the biggest super alphas are psychopaths locked up in prison, and they get letters from sick bytches that want to "save them".