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"Everyone But Me" Mentality on this forum

CAPSLOCK BANDIT

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Man I am getting really tired of all the posters on here that constantly have to attempt to establish themselves as something other than what we all are here, men speaking about women on an online forum.

The insulting undertones are just indicative of one thing, you having a crappy life and retreating online, men come here for support, not to be crapped on by jaded posters who spend more time posting online than they ever have approaching women and its obvious the anger, the insults, it's just so clear you are projecting from an unhappy life.

I sincerely hope this "Everyone but me" Mentality begins to wear down a bit, I will say that it definitely comes from the top down, how mods act definitely emboldened other posters to act ****ty and its just sad to see, the generation of men coming up need support, not unfulfilled men who are living a lie.

If you are not building the people around you up, your tearing them down, it's just that simple, no not everyone needs to get along, arguments happen sure but like, the implied insults, the constant assertion that "Everyone but me has a problem" like dude if it was everyone but you, you wouldn't be here. Period. We are all here to work on our problems, not project from them out of frustration.

I think this is the second thread now I've made about mod behavior creating this trickle down effect that emboldened other posters to act this way, it's still happening, like I understand you guys moderate the site, but it seems to me you create half the behavioral issues you guys deal with, almost like your bored or something, which would be very strange to have a bunch of guys be online not practicing what they preach, just sh1t posting rather than be out speaking to women "Oh, I'm married!" I know plenty of married guys that still go out and talk to women, the fact that y'all would rather sh1t post than chase after women is revealing.
 

metalwater

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Hey Bandit, what your telling is how things work.

SS has a small number of ppl that like to post and interact on the topics. Maybe some are experts but most are just interested, or learning, or getting some entertainment. From time to time a new person brings some issue DESPERATELY looking for help and advice because they have no other way or place to find it. SS works pretty well for those ones because it is an active community and doesn't really ignore. Several different valuable things are being served in this.

As far as the social circle of SS (the common posters regardless of if they have 10k post or 20 post its still just ppl. Gonna try to look in ways to elevate self whether in appearing as an expert or as kind or as badass or other... Exactly like real life, it's actually a pretty good simulation.

Modding for a group of men or leading them in any action is not so easy all of the time. It's easy if you simply NEXT anyone you disagree with however if we have some wish to help MOST men then NEXT is off of the table except in extreme cases. some of what I just said in this last sentence can be applied to the difference between managing an LTR and PUA only. Never doing to have a successful LTR if managing for plates only. Never going to have a successful LTR if only managing for that... Same with the forum.

Probably some examples of very mature kind and masculine men and some examples of the middle school bully and everything in between. Might have some losers that want to stop losing. All across the board, the scope of the differences and needs are huge. Very difficult as an owner to pick the right mods, just as doing the modding is difficult. And remember, the mods also have issues that they work on and are still men that need to grow and the mod experience can be part of that.

If any one man is completely satisfied with it, it must be wrong...
 

CAPSLOCK BANDIT

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Hey Bandit, what your telling is how things work.

SS has a small number of ppl that like to post and interact on the topics. Maybe some are experts but most are just interested, or learning, or getting some entertainment. From time to time a new person brings some issue DESPERATELY looking for help and advice because they have no other way or place to find it. SS works pretty well for those ones because it is an active community and doesn't really ignore. Several different valuable things are being served in this.

As far as the social circle of SS (the common posters regardless of if they have 10k post or 20 post its still just ppl. Gonna try to look in ways to elevate self whether in appearing as an expert or as kind or as badass or other... Exactly like real life, it's actually a pretty good simulation.

Modding for a group of men or leading them in any action is not so easy all of the time. It's easy if you simply NEXT anyone you disagree with however if we have some wish to help MOST men then NEXT is off of the table except in extreme cases. some of what I just said in this last sentence can be applied to the difference between managing an LTR and PUA only. Never doing to have a successful LTR if managing for plates only. Never going to have a successful LTR if only managing for that... Same with the forum.

Probably some examples of very mature kind and masculine men and some examples of the middle school bully and everything in between. Might have some losers that want to stop losing. All across the board, the scope of the differences and needs are huge. Very difficult as an owner to pick the right mods, just as doing the modding is difficult. And remember, the mods also have issues that they work on and are still men that need to grow and the mod experience can be part of that.

If any one man is completely satisfied with it, it must be wrong...
I don't complain about moderator action at all, I can't seem to recall there ever being an unreasonable banning or anything like that just like, maybe post your **** post on an alt ad opposed to setting an example for the entire forum by having a moderator post insulting things or anything negative in general, the sentiment slowly gets carried forward otherwise.
 

Atom Smasher

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As an ex-mod myself, I’m just not seeing what you seem to be implying. This seems to me like an excellent group of mods. I know when I was modding, we strove to be fair and to give plenty of chances to guys to adhere to the rules before any action was taken. We were just interested in serving in order to try to keep up the quality of this site.

Maybe you have in mind one or two mods that are a little more direct, but that’s just how it is in any group of men. Or perhaps you’re aware of some posts that I’m not aware of. At any rate, I’ve been pretty impressed with this group of mods, I must say.

A lot of guys here think I’m still a mod, I’ve noticed. My posting style is pretty arrogant, but that style comes from having gone from a confused, absolute loser with women to someone who got his sh!t together in this department and wants to tell other guys how he did it. My no-nonsense style is, “Come on, guys. Get it together. It’s not as hard as you’re making it”. Perhaps some other mods come from the same direction. There are a couple mods I have a lot of respect for as they come from the same no-nonsense stance and have a good head on their shoulders.

I’d be interested in hearing you elaborate. Modding is a thankless job and is much more difficult than one might think. It’s impossible to please everyone and you usually end up pleasing no one. All the while you’re genuinely trying to be fair and to make the site one of excellence.
 
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taiyuu_otoko

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Everyone but me has a problem
Unfortunately, I think this is common both online and off.

Even though I agree that some mods tend to lean this way, maybe because of the ego boost that comes from being a mod, which tends to bleed over into "teach men who don't get it about the way things are," it's just part of life.

Get a job at a crappy telemarketing job and everybody will be telling each other "how things really work" while making crap money.
 

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Epicenter

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Man I am getting really tired of all the posters on here that constantly have to attempt to establish themselves as something other than what we all are here, men speaking about women on an online forum.

The insulting undertones are just indicative of one thing, you having a crappy life and retreating online, men come here for support, not to be crapped on by jaded posters who spend more time posting online than they ever have approaching women and its obvious the anger, the insults, it's just so clear you are projecting from an unhappy life.

I sincerely hope this "Everyone but me" Mentality begins to wear down a bit, I will say that it definitely comes from the top down, how mods act definitely emboldened other posters to act ****ty and its just sad to see, the generation of men coming up need support, not unfulfilled men who are living a lie.

If you are not building the people around you up, your tearing them down, it's just that simple, no not everyone needs to get along, arguments happen sure but like, the implied insults, the constant assertion that "Everyone but me has a problem" like dude if it was everyone but you, you wouldn't be here. Period. We are all here to work on our problems, not project from them out of frustration.

I think this is the second thread now I've made about mod behavior creating this trickle down effect that emboldened other posters to act this way, it's still happening, like I understand you guys moderate the site, but it seems to me you create half the behavioral issues you guys deal with, almost like your bored or something, which would be very strange to have a bunch of guys be online not practicing what they preach, just sh1t posting rather than be out speaking to women "Oh, I'm married!" I know plenty of married guys that still go out and talk to women, the fact that y'all would rather sh1t post than chase after women is revealing.
There is something called the truth. You can be a master PUA but still you can tell lies and wrong things. With a bit of critical thinking you have the right to call it out if you have good arguments. If you do it in a nice way that is good but most of the time people have not the maturity level but also some negativity is needed to foster competition regarding quality of arguments. If bringing effort and good arguments to the table does not count so why would anyone bother calling out the bad boys?
 

CAPSLOCK BANDIT

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As an ex-mod myself, I’m just not seeing what you seem to be implying. This seems to me like an excellent group of mods. I know when I was modding, we strove to be fair and to give plenty of chances to guys to adhere to the rules before any action was taken. We were just interested in serving in order to try to keep up the quality of this site.

Maybe you have in mind one or two mods that are a little more direct, but that’s just how it is in any group of men. Or perhaps you’re aware of some posts that I’m not aware of. At any rate, I’ve been pretty impressed with this group of mods, I must say.

A lot of guys here think I’m still a mod, I’ve noticed. My posting style is pretty arrogant, but that style comes from having gone from a confused, absolute loser with women to someone who got his sh!t together in this department and wants to tell other guys how he did it. My no-nonsense style is, “Come on, guys. Get it together. It’s not as hard as you’re making it”. Perhaps some other mods come from the same direction. There are a couple mods I have a lot of respect for as they come from the same no-nonsense stance and have a good head on their shoulders.

I’d be interested in hearing you elaborate. Modding is a thankless job and is much more difficult than one might think. It’s impossible to please everyone and you usually end up pleasing no one. All the while you’re genuinely trying to be fair and to make the site one of excellence.
It's not about the action the mods take, it's about the attitude that trickles down to the common poster, there is an air of disrespect that is just so unnecessary, being so critical of other posters that they don't even want to share anymore, it just creates this echo chamber of seeking pleasing responses.

The thing is, it wouldn't be that bad if there wasn't this black pill mindset that a lot of posters here have because they already have a negative mindset off the get go so when its compounded by an environment where negativity is present, it just snowballs into something else entirely, like for example, like I said, a lot of posters hold black pill values here but the second they are brought up, they are attacked and so the values are hidden away, soon you have posters regurgitating something like "Have a purpose" without even understanding what a purpose is or why that is said.

Id sooner like to see all the black pill content banned than an environment being bred where we just crap all over these people over the values they hold, shaming them isn't going to change anything.

I suppose that is the heart of the problem, is the shaming echo chamber that exists and not all the mods do it however if your silent upon the issue, you are enabling it to continue.

This place will never thrive when our response to a man with a question is shame and I personally think the shaming aspect comes from a lack of knowledge, being looked at in a position like you should have some sort of answer, any answer at all, but they don't and so shame is employed to create this illusion that the knowledge is there but your just not worthy of it or something like this.

Again, I don't disagree with mod action, there are forums where a thread like this would disappear instantly.

Im also guilty of it myself at times, but I'm also not looked at as like a pillar of the community, so to speak, what I say isn't gonna have as much impact as somebody who is literally moderating content on the site.

Masculine Morality through shaming is what I'm detailing
 
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Alvafe

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It's not about the action the mods take, it's about the attitude that trickles down to the common poster, there is an air of disrespect that is just so unnecessary, being so critical of other posters that they don't even want to share anymore, it just creates this echo chamber of seeking pleasing responses.

The thing is, it wouldn't be that bad if there wasn't this black pill mindset that a lot of posters here have because they already have a negative mindset off the get go so when its compounded by an environment where negativity is present, it just snowballs into something else entirely, like for example, like I said, a lot of posters hold black pill values here but the second they are brought up, they are attacked and so the values are hidden away, soon you have posters regurgitating something like "Have a purpose" without even understanding what a purpose is or why that is said.

Id sooner like to see all the black pill content banned than an environment being bred where we just crap all over these people over the values they hold, shaming them isn't going to change anything.

I suppose that is the heart of the problem, is the shaming echo chamber that exists and not all the mods do it however if your silent upon the issue, you are enabling it to continue.

This place will never thrive when our response to a man with a question is shame and I personally think the shaming aspect comes from a lack of knowledge, being looked at in a position like you should have some sort of answer, any answer at all, but they don't and so shame is employed to create this illusion that the knowledge is there but your just not worthy of it or something like this.

Again, I don't disagree with mod action, there are forums where a thread like this would disappear instantly.

Im also guilty of it myself at times, but I'm also not looked at as like a pillar of the community, so to speak, what I say isn't gonna have as much impact as somebody who is literally moderating content on the site.

Masculine Morality through shaming is what I'm detailing
being critical is part of the guidance, we are not here to hold hands, we are here to suplex you out of your sh!t, if anyone cares enough that is. some call tough love, I just call dumb, because hey I was like that, but now the diference is I know I was dumb and don't want anyone be that dumb, as long he is willing to learn

its a ironic you say everyone but me, you are in this too you know?, from what I get most of time is guys come here, crying for advice, we give said advice, the advice is ignored because its not what he wanted to listen, because hey it was not really a direct answer for his question (again I did that too), but I did learn and leave that behind, and put process and rules on things I do, do I break these rules? if I consider its better I would, but there are there to keep me in a good place.

but then again I see a lot of post lately of people complaining about others, and little about thenselfs, everyone is wrong but me, curious no?
 

Epicenter

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Maybe there should be two groups. The ones who take PUA very serious and those who do or talk about it for fun.

I saw that for example in table tennis. Some guys take it so serious that is almost depressing to watch at. Sometimes it is fun to be competetive but most of the time I rather like to be chill most of the time.
 

Grounded eagle

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Id sooner like to see all the black pill content banned than an environment being bred where we just crap all over these people over the values they hold, shaming them isn't going to change anything.
The bigger question is why such people are even allowed here.I am sure there are incel forums and black pill forums.But they come here and spew counterproductive negativity.They come here and contribute nothing.Why that is,I don’t know.
 

CAPSLOCK BANDIT

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being critical is part of the guidance, we are not here to hold hands, we are here to suplex you out of your sh!t, if anyone cares enough that is. some call tough love, I just call dumb, because hey I was like that, but now the diference is I know I was dumb and don't want anyone be that dumb, as long he is willing to learn

its a ironic you say everyone but me, you are in this too you know?, from what I get most of time is guys come here, crying for advice, we give said advice, the advice is ignored because its not what he wanted to listen, because hey it was not really a direct answer for his question (again I did that too), but I did learn and leave that behind, and put process and rules on things I do, do I break these rules? if I consider its better I would, but there are there to keep me in a good place.

but then again I see a lot of post lately of people complaining about others, and little about thenselfs, everyone is wrong but me, curious no?
I'm definitely not excluded.

Thinking critically and being critical are 2 different things, the idea that you could offer guidance while being critical is a far cry, guidance is something tailored, being critical, something tailored, if your attempting to guide through being critical you need to choose your words carefully, I don't see that, I see the same concepts regurgitated over and over speaking of which, you reference hand holding, again, this is exactly what I'm talking about, thank you for proving my point... Nobody said anything about hand holding.
 
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Alvafe

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I'm definitely not excluded.

Thinking critically and being critical are 2 different things, the idea that you could offer guidance while being critical is a far cry, guidance is something tailored, being critical, something tailored, if your attempting to guide through being critical you need to choose your words carefully, I don't see that, I see the same concepts regurgitated over and over speaking of which, you reference hand holding, again, this is exactly what I'm talking about, thank you for proving my point... Nobody said anything about hand holding.
its that what you are asking though, no?
 

Howiestern

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Man I am getting really tired of all the posters on here that constantly have to attempt to establish themselves as something other than what we all are here, men speaking about women on an online forum.

The insulting undertones are just indicative of one thing, you having a crappy life and retreating online, men come here for support, not to be crapped on by jaded posters who spend more time posting online than they ever have approaching women and its obvious the anger, the insults, it's just so clear you are projecting from an unhappy life.

I sincerely hope this "Everyone but me" Mentality begins to wear down a bit, I will say that it definitely comes from the top down, how mods act definitely emboldened other posters to act ****ty and its just sad to see, the generation of men coming up need support, not unfulfilled men who are living a lie.

If you are not building the people around you up, your tearing them down, it's just that simple, no not everyone needs to get along, arguments happen sure but like, the implied insults, the constant assertion that "Everyone but me has a problem" like dude if it was everyone but you, you wouldn't be here. Period. We are all here to work on our problems, not project from them out of frustration.

I think this is the second thread now I've made about mod behavior creating this trickle down effect that emboldened other posters to act this way, it's still happening, like I understand you guys moderate the site, but it seems to me you create half the behavioral issues you guys deal with, almost like your bored or something, which would be very strange to have a bunch of guys be online not practicing what they preach, just sh1t posting rather than be out speaking to women "Oh, I'm married!" I know plenty of married guys that still go out and talk to women, the fact that y'all would rather sh1t post than chase after women is revealing.
Women I've dated have treated me far worse than the guys on here. Take what works for you and ignore the rest. It's a good skill to develop. There are many actors and big ego's on the road of life.
 
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CAPSLOCK BANDIT

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Women I've dated have treated me far worse than the guys on here. Take what works for you and ignore the rest. It's a good skill to develop. There are many actors and big ego's on the road of life.
The point is that being anti-social online translates to your social skills in real life and vice versa, if you can't navigate a social interaction on a forum where you have unlimited time to think and respond, how the hell can that same person navigate a social interaction in real time? They can't, but they attempt to push the anti-social behavior regardless because it's all they have to offer, so rather than ignoring them, we can do something more for them, but first their denial has to be overcome, ignoring it just reinforces the denial they have.

The anti-social behavior on both sides of the equation is problematic here, from the black pill as well as everywhere else, it's called So Suave, not So Alone.
 

Epicenter

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The point is that being anti-social online translates to your social skills in real life and vice versa, if you can't navigate a social interaction on a forum where you have unlimited time to think and respond, how the hell can that same person navigate a social interaction in real time? They can't, but they attempt to push the anti-social behavior regardless because it's all they have to offer, so rather than ignoring them, we can do something more for them, but first their denial has to be overcome, ignoring it just reinforces the denial they have.

The anti-social behavior on both sides of the equation is problematic here, from the black pill as well as everywhere else, it's called So Suave, not So Alone.
It is like a club with ugly girls and crappy music. Most guys have ahedonia I guess. There is not much you can do about it besides complaining.
 

eli77

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Man I am getting really tired of all the posters on here that constantly have to attempt to establish themselves as something other than what we all are here, men speaking about women on an online forum.

The insulting undertones are just indicative of one thing, you having a crappy life and retreating online, men come here for support, not to be crapped on by jaded posters who spend more time posting online than they ever have approaching women and its obvious the anger, the insults, it's just so clear you are projecting from an unhappy life.

I sincerely hope this "Everyone but me" Mentality begins to wear down a bit, I will say that it definitely comes from the top down, how mods act definitely emboldened other posters to act ****ty and its just sad to see, the generation of men coming up need support, not unfulfilled men who are living a lie.

If you are not building the people around you up, your tearing them down, it's just that simple, no not everyone needs to get along, arguments happen sure but like, the implied insults, the constant assertion that "Everyone but me has a problem" like dude if it was everyone but you, you wouldn't be here. Period. We are all here to work on our problems, not project from them out of frustration.

I think this is the second thread now I've made about mod behavior creating this trickle down effect that emboldened other posters to act this way, it's still happening, like I understand you guys moderate the site, but it seems to me you create half the behavioral issues you guys deal with, almost like your bored or something, which would be very strange to have a bunch of guys be online not practicing what they preach, just sh1t posting rather than be out speaking to women "Oh, I'm married!" I know plenty of married guys that still go out and talk to women, the fact that y'all would rather sh1t post than chase after women is revealing.
Im all about that dm me
 
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