"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Every girl wants me except the one I like

nocturnal2

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How annoying is that? I mean, there's been a lot of girls who wanted to go out with me (good-looking ones) but of COURSE the one I actually do like doesn't give a damn. This has happened over and over. It's so frustrating, and I don't know why this happens.

The only thing I can think of is my personality might change a little around the ones I like, but I doubt that makes a difference.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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bigjohnson

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nocturnal2 said:
.... I don't know why this happens.

You're as good as a posterboy for "not getting women", dude. What you're wrongly identifying as the effect is in truth the cause.
 

nocturnal2

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You fvcking dumb@ss, I just told you there are plenty of girls who WOULD date me, and WANT to. Except the ones I actually have feelings more.

Try again Shakespeare.
 

Play the Game

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Start giving her less attention. People want what they can't have. Oh and start hanging out with those girls that you don't want. They'll get the other ones jealous.
Plus, if they're decent looking you can hit it, instead of whining why you can't get the girl that you want!!!!

The only thing I can think of is my personality might change a little around the ones I like, but I doubt that makes a difference.
It makes all the difference in the world. Your attention is a very valuable resource, use it wisely.
 

bigjohnson

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nocturnal2 said:
You fvcking dumb@ss, I just told you there are plenty of girls who WOULD date me, and WANT to. Except the ones I actually have feelings more.

Try again Shakespeare.
Lol. Not getting women meant as "not understanding women", dorkus. But if you ain't getting them, you're not getting them so it works both ways. Read what I said.

The way you're treating these women is why they respond as they do, in BOTH cases. You're confusing cause and effect. I suppose I could use smaller words or simpler phrases if you still don't get it.

That whole "have feelings for" line just cracks me up, BTW.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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bigjohnson

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nocturnal2 said:
If I ever saw you in a bar I would kick your ass.
You'd likely die trying. Literally. Moving on ....

I'm trying to help you fella, read what I wrote - it's the truth. You might not like the answer, but sometimes life is tough.
 

nocturnal2

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Dude. Listen to me. I would jump across the bar and Jackie Chan the beer right out of your hand.
 

Play the Game

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bigjohnson said:
You'd likely die trying. Literally. Moving on ....

I'm trying to help you fella, read what I wrote - it's the truth. You might not like the answer, but sometimes life is tough.
Instead of being a douche, why don't you try and teach him something from your wisdom?
All i've seen so far is insults...
 
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Whats going on here is obvious... although you guys insult eachother to validate? w/e ....

Anyways... yeaa.. shes obviously not submissive to your actions and what not, shes not feeling u as a man man...

1. Get more fierce (get cooler)

2. Realize she may not like you. PERIOD.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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bigjohnson

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nocturnal2 said:
Dude. Listen to me. I would jump across the bar and Jackie Chan the beer right out of your hand.

ROFL.

OK, but it's the hand with the Glock you shoulda worried about.

Onward.

Here's a workbook style answer. Take one of those millions of babes you "don't have feelings for" and go out with her. Read what is written here - apply it. You are really like a caricature of what this site is here to fix.
 

bigjohnson

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Play the Game said:
... why don't you try and teach him something from your wisdom?
Because the answers are already written here way better than I can re-write them. He needs to read and apply, even if it hurts.
 

nocturnal2

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So the advice so far has been..

Go out with a chick I do not have feelings for, and...

Get cooler?

Thanks.
 

bigjohnson

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Look at the headers and stickys. The way you treat the "girls you have feelings for" is making them not want you. The way you treat the "girls you don;t like" makes them want you. I can't say it any simpler.

So I'd advise you to burn through some of those chicks you don't dig as practice after you read some info here, so you see what works and you can understand why. In the end if you don't get out and try it you'll end up a keyboarding virgin like some of the other guys on here.
 

nocturnal2

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Wrong. The way I act around girls I do and don't like probably doesn't matter. In fact, I know it doesn't...
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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Wyldfire

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Oh for the love of Christ you little pansies and your pathetic posturing...and on a website, no less!

To the OP...you're just behaving differently around the girls you actually like because you stand to lose more if you pursue them...it's a bigger risk because you actually care. Spend more time talking with girls you don't care about to get more comfortable with girls in general...that will help you relax more around the ones you genuinely like. Oh...and don't act asexual around the ones you really like...take a risk and show in your actions that you are interested in them as more than friends.
 

Lust

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Are you blind?

Come on mate, this isn't hard to figure out.

If you have a lot of other women in your life, especially physically attractive ones, use it to your advantage!

Create social proof with other hot women. The automatic attraction switch of Pre-Selection comes into play. Women can't fight it, they just feel attracted to men who are pre-selected.

Are you DHVing properly?

You have to show her that not only are you pre-selected, theres a reason for it. You have to demonstrate your higher values.

Also, interact more with her! How much are you interacting with her? When you have a lot of women in your hands, turn it up with the others, but also get friendlier with her. Doing this maximizes the power of pre-selection. She'll wonder if you like her, and why you have so many other women.

In the meantime, don't dwell too much on this. Go out, make more approaches. You might risk a one-itis if you think about it too long.
 

bigjohnson

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nocturnal2 said:
Wrong. The way I act around girls I do and don't like probably doesn't matter. In fact, I know it doesn't...
Then there's nothing you can do ..... lol.

Really, you're wrong, but I guess what you're doing now is working SO WELL for you that you don't want to try something else?

If you go out with other girls several things happen:

  • You show that you're desirable.
  • You learn in a low risk way what works and what fails
  • You get to spend time with REAL LIVE girls instead of your left hand
 

Play the Game

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bigjohnson said:
Look at the headers and stickys. The way you treat the "girls you have feelings for" is making them not want you. The way you treat the "girls you don;t like" makes them want you. I can't say it any simpler.

So I'd advise you to burn through some of those chicks you don't dig as practice after you read some info here, so you see what works and you can understand why. In the end if you don't get out and try it you'll end up a keyboarding virgin like some of the other guys on here.
Well, i give you credit for trying... he's really in denial now.
Maybe it'll sink in after he reflects on it.
 

dap

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The reason why you like them is because they don't like you, ie they are a challenge.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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