Every any use calling ppl out? (professionally, not women)

[TheCWord]

I had a thread a while back where I asked about calling a woman out on their ****ty behavior, and the advice was very decisive: don't do it. Never show them you're affected.

I take that advice to heart and find it is the right advice when it comes to women. My question to put out to you guys is: how do you deal with people treating you badly in your professional life?

If any of you have ever had a job, you know that a company will naturally try to get every last thing they can out of you (i.e. being taken advantage of). There will also be a co-worker who you can't stand and may even try to bury you.

Good employers will ask things of you but compensate you accordingly. Good co-workers succeed by helping you and others to succeed. When I am faced with the bad ones, I honestly don't fear confrontation and may be guilty of embracing it too much - I'll call anybody out.

Reflecting: I don't know if calling a boss or co-worker out on their **** has ever resulted in things being corrected - or if they are corrected, there's always an underlying tension afterwards.

Made me wonder if the approach we take with women (identifying them as bad for us and withdrawing ourselves from them) is appropriate to other situations in life as well? Action instead of talking?

As it relates to my current work situation: they're doing things really backwards, compared to how things are supposed to work in my industry, and other people's work is being piled on me while I am simultaneously cut out of the more positive, good-for-the-career tasks...

There is also a co-worker who is the exact type of AFC chump beta we describe on here. Textbook. Except, he's a sociopath and is extremely threatened by me so he talks behind my back to bosses, talks down to me at work, etc.

Now, my contract at this particular job is done next month so whatever. But I'm considering how I want things to play out in these final few weeks... Do I just take the beating and get the F out of there, withdrawing myself from the situation so that I can find one that is a better match for me... Or do I go to war with the bosses: say this is what you're doing wrong, this is what the sociopath is doing, etc...

Problem is it just seems like complaining. I much rather just identify when a situation isn't working and withdraw myself from it. The only thing with that is, if I adopt that way of thinking, that might translate to be constantly quitting jobs in the future once they stop working out. Not good for the ol' bank account and probably doesn't present well as a professional.

CLIFFNOTES:
If your work situation isn't going well, do you complain or do you walk away?

 

[VikingKing]

I would say don't do it. Afc's like this one have a hamster that is as active as a woman. Calling him out will make him try and manipulate behind your back even more. Action through inaction.

 

[TheCWord]

I would say don't do it. Afc's like this one have a hamster that is as active as a woman. Calling him out will make him try and manipulate behind your back even more. Action through inaction.

I have the luxury of doing contract work, so it's easy for me to move on. But if you had a full-time job, how would you handle it? I imagine leaving a job every time you start to become uncomfortable there is not advisable.

 

[TheException]

Problem is it just seems like complaining.

This^

You can only really call people out effectively from a position of power. If your a manager(boss) and someone below you calls you out for putting "too much work" on them, how many fuks do you think they give? They most likely put "too much work" on everybody....its the nature of the game. Work to get yourself promoted and in a position of power....until then id just ignore everybody but yourself and make your work the best possible.

 

[Brosy]

No, professionally the one making all the noise is the one that gets the side-ways looks. Even more so if the other party is not returning fire.

Your co-worker bad mouthing you to your bosses sounds like this school-boy error in action. If your work speaks for itself it'll only be a matter of time before he has enough rope to hang himself with.

 

[foreverAFC]

i prefer to call people out rather than keep it inside because when you keep it inside it feels way worse, and if you know you are leaving anyway then who cares

 

[Dali_tx_o]

"If your work situation isn't going well, do you complain or do you walk away?"

I prefer to replace "complain" with "improve situation".

You walk away when you realize the effort that you would put it to change the situation will not be worth the reward.

You improve situation if you do not want (or cannot at the moment) to simply walk away.

Allow me to expand on the latter:

As mentioned already, you can only call out people from position of power, and when you are an employee, the boss is usually the one in power. Nevertheless, once you look at your own value (as a worker) and the values of your boss (work-related), this can be leveraged quite a bit.

The usual mantra is, your value in the company is just how much value you add to the company (real value, and perceived value. Sucking up to boss might increase perceived value, while having someone bad-mouth you decrease your perceived value).

Your boss is also usually looking to increase company profit and work efficiency while decreasing expenditure.

If you can convince the boss that you can provide something that he needs, your value increases, and you level out the positions of power (from company perspective, it is the ideal solution - both the boss really needs you, and you really need the boss. Put it into DJ terms, your boss right now is HB10 with AFC orbiter and plenty of options, while you're just another beta. Make yourself Alpha, and the boss (HB) will worship you, while you may fall for her and develop nice long term relationship. Or, you pump and dump her in a month for another HB.).

I find it difficult to put it into few words, since it would be a lot easier if we knew more specifics, but to to get you going, there's a general approach:


"they're doing things really backwards, compared to how things are supposed to work in my industry, and other people's work is being piled on me while I am simultaneously cut out of the more positive, good-for-the-career tasks..."


Arrange yourself a meeting with the boss. Begin with lines "I've met with an old professor of mine/An aquintance that works in bigger company in same field as yours/some other "authority" in the field., and we've spoke a bit about how companies work. I'm not saying it's the right way to do it, but it might save the company quite a few dollars. Hear me out:
<Your thoughts on how everything should work.>
Emphasis on how will this directly benefit the company/boss. I.e., either save resources, lessen the workload of boss (and yourself, but don't say that) or turn more profit.
No need to show what will be your own personal gain. If he asks, sure, answer, but most of the time, they don't care.

Your aim is to wrap your agenda (I want to work less, I want to do different tasks), something that your boss doesn't care about, into something he cares deeply about (if I do X instead of the very ****ty task Y, I can prepare report/blueprints/whatever for Y which makes Y task 50% faster! And, our friendly AFC chump that's been badmouthing me seems good and skilled at task Y anyway, it already takes him 20% less time to do it, while I'm naturally better at X since I studied it for 5 years!).

Extra points if you can make the boss think it was his own idea.

 

[TheCWord]

Dali: Thank you for the awesome response. I have to head off to the aforementioned place of employ but will write back later.