Ever seen this before?

[andrewsap]

Don Juan(s),
I have a very serious problem that I can't seem to find the solution to. I've read all the books, listen to the CDs, and read numerous articles about dating. I've learned a lot, and I owe much of my success to the advice I have received from generous people like yourself. So here's the problem: I'm a fairly attractive guy (http://www.hotornot.com/r/?eid=OEAENMH&key=GYU), and I have had decent success picking up women. I've had sex with many women as well, but there's A LOT missing. The women I pick up are, how do I say....not the quality I would hope for. They're either not attractive enough, or not intelligent enough. Here's what I've came up with so far:
1. I'm a psych major, so I have a little understanding of the human psyche.
2. I'm VERY outgoing (sometimes too much, I think), and I have no problem communicating with anyone, under almost any conditions.
3. My desire to tackle this area of my life is very intense! I believe this fact alone will eventually motivate me to do whatever it takes to become successful with desirable women.
4. I was very reclusive as a child (I'm 22 now), and I was not very popular in high school. I joined the Marines after I graduated (high school), and that, along with the info. I've received from people like yourself, has dramatically improved my social life.
5. Probably because of my "difficult" childhood, my self-concept has suffered, and still needs some work. I'm working HARD on it though. I'll get there eventually...
6. I accept women that are not on the level I would hope for, and I think there is a correlation between this behavior and the state my self-concept is in. This may very well be the root of my problem.

So, given all the info. I have, what areas do you think I need to work on? Average looking women pose no threat to me, and as a result, I can't find happiness with them. However, extremely beautiful women intimidate me, and I'm not sure how to communicate effectively with them. I attend college now, so I see many nice looking women. In random situations, I have no problem talking to beautiful women. But if it's in a club, bar, or other situation where I'm "expected to perform," I lock up. Things seem off-balance. Logical reasoning doesn't get through, and everything seems almost surreal.
I've read articles about men who think "too much" about dating, and women in general. Maybe I fall into this category, but if I don't think about it, how will the problem go away?
I feel like I'm operating way below my potential, and it's making me feel pretty badly. I'd really like to clear this part of my life up because I know there's a more enjoyable life out there waiting for me to experience it. Thanks so much for your time, and I appreciate any advice you can offer.

Sincerely,
Paul

 

[-HPNOTIQ-]

Sometimes you have to get away from the whole "DJ" mentality thing.

You study books, study videos, study tapes, read the DJB, read the articles, read the bootcamps, study the advice...but..in the end..sounds like you're thinking too hard. Maybe a little performance anxiety to add.

It doesn't sound like this stuff is comming natural out of you. You're over analyzing your situations rather than just enjoying them as they come. Sure, this girl today is not at your standards, and she's not quality HB material...but..don't forget to satisfy YOUR EMOTIONAL NEEDS TOO.

Emotional needs not meaning the lovey dovey crap...I talk emotional needs as the things that just make you f*cking sit back and enjoy life. If you ain't enjoying this DJing, then leave it alone for awhile. Focus on school, hit the gym, get a job, hunt, snowboard, get a new car...meet your emotional needs outside of women.

The less you think about these snares, traps, SS patterns, PUA tricks, and the such...the more it becomes a natural thing.

When you talk about going to a club and "expected to perform"...Who expects you to perform? This isn't a contest or a race. Women aren't trophies. Women aren't blue ribbons to be won. Women aren't the end all be all.

Women are there to compliment a well-rounded man's life..not to complete it. The only thing you should be focused on when you go out to a club is HAVING FUN.

When you're loose, having drinks with the fellas, and having a good time..your mentality is good...your aura is good..and the success with the HBs will follow.

Yup Yup

 

[andrewsap]

Thanks for your advice. An idea hit me this morning, and I'd like a little feedback on it. I'm going to start giving women my number. No deep psychological issues, no hocus-pocus. Just walk to a girl, establish that I'm a cool person, and give her my number. If she's says "what's this?", I'll say "My number. Call me. I'd like to see you again."
Although there are certain factors being played on here (such as displaying a lot of confidence, control of my reality, etc.), I think I may get better results with this mainly because:
1. I'll only give my number to women I consider serious dating material (physically, at least).
2. If I give my number to enough women, eventually, the sublties of this will pay off, and I'll become better at it.
3. The more effective I become at approaching beautiful women, the more my success rate will increase.

Sounds pretty good to me. What do you think? Be brutally honest. I'm looking for both positive and negative feedback here. Thanks for your time.
Semper Fi,
Paul

 

[-HPNOTIQ-]

I'm against giving the number out bro. Why give it out? It puts YOU in the waiting position for HER. She should be waiting for YOU.

I have no problem exchanging numbers...I feel the DJB on the fella not giving out the number because that puts her in charge is a bit off. If she wants to exchange numbers thats high interest to me because it is mutual.

I also feel that you lose that 'take charge' attitude women desire in a man. I personally feel it makes you look a bit weak.

All those thoughts about you should be running in her head -
Will he call?
I wonder where he works?
I wonder where he goes to school?
I wonder if he's good in bed?

These questions that stir a woman's emotions about a man won't be stirring in her head because you gave the control to her by giving her your number...

But..its an interesting experiement to try.

I think it will work on a few girls who's interest levels in you have to be SKY HIGH.

But..on the HBs that get chased around by men every day....IMO...they aren't looking to chase a fella....they know the fella is supposed to chase them...IN THE BEGINNING...but...little do they know that they'll be chasing the DJ in the end.

 

[chancer]

Damn it's been a while since i've been here...

Ok, look, let's put it simple. They have caller ID. They can write your number down when you call. And it's not worth the time blocking your number out each time you call them either. It's NOT in your best interest to make yourself more available than you need to be. The phone is to be used for mainly one thing... planning.

You are the prize... Your number is a prize... Don't ever give out your number without getting something in return.

but look, it looks to me like you think women are some kind of special prize. "Just walk to a girl, establish that I'm a cool person". Establish this for yourself... Mentally, tell yourself, I am cool, because I've got this this and this going... You dont need to prove yourself to any girl.

I live with 2 girls... 2 very fine females... There hasn't been a single phone call where they got off the phone looking like they just won a prize. I swear they think they have game.

 

[cant think of a user name]

Originally posted by chancer
You dont need to prove yourself to any girl.

That's right!

To the original poster, andrewsap, have you tried bootcamp?