Ever onward's Bootcamp Journal

[Ever onward]

I'm starting my Bootcamp over. I attempted Bootcamp before and made it to the beginning of week 4. If anyone finds this repetitive then don't read it, I'm doing this for me, to hold myself accountable.

Here's the link to my previous attempt at BC by the way.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?threadid=58872&perpage=20&pagenumber=6

Anyways, when I did Bootcamp before, I had really good results and I want to get back to that point. I met my ex-gf through the process of Bootcamp and then I gave up. Now she has broken up with me and my confidence is gone again.

The first time I started Bootcamp, I was really excited, it was something new and I was pushing myself out there. Now I feel as though "I've been there, done that" so why am I doing this? Well because BC will force me to once again be more social whether I feel like it or not. Hopefully my attitude will get better.

As before, my goals are the same:

To become more social, to grab life by the balls. To push myself out there and make more friends. To get over the fear of approaching women and the fear of rejection. My goal is to get through week 4 once and for all. After week 4 I might rethink my goals but I'm taking this one step at a time.

I'm giving myself until next monday November 8th to complete week 1. Which as you probably know is all about eye contact and saying 50 hello's to strangers. My 50 hellos are going to be towards 50 women I'm attracted to and I'm going to say hello to everyone else along the way even if I'm not counting them.

I will however keep the updates for this first week to a minimum because the first week is fairly uneventful, but I will update to keep myself honest.

I've started already this morning, I got two hi's in coming out of class to 2 fine looking ladies.

onward,

hi count: 2

ps my attitude still sucks and I am not enthused. Still dwelling on ex gf, hopefully doing this will take my mind off of her.

 

[david90]

U hit a bump and now ur putting yourself back to square one?

 

[Ever onward]

U hit a bump and now ur putting yourself back to square one?

I am back at square one whether I like it or not.

Anyways, here is my "hi" update, 14 so far. My attitude still sucks. I don't have the enthusiasm that I did before on this exercise. Maybe I feel like I'm already past this stage and should be pushing myself forward. I don't know.

I do know that my confidence is shot.

I called my ex the other day, I ended up asking her to coffee. I made her laugh during the "date" and I told her about how busy I am with my life. I then said, while things were still on a high note, that "we should go" and I said bye to her just like a friend and left quickly.

Then I called her last night, because as I've mentioned in my other posts she's president of the campus democrats, and I felt bad for her that Bush was winning the election. I told her "I'm proud of you for all the hard work that you've done" you know, trying to be "supportive" and all that. Here's a bit of the conversation that followed after that.

Her: What are you doing this weekend?
me: Nothing, why?
Her: Maybe we can do something...
me: Just as friends you mean?
Her: Yeah, just as friends (she had a strange tone to her voice when she was saying this, maybe she was asking for a date) then she said "let's think about it and I'll call you later"

No phone call as of yet. I saw her on campus today, she was in the computer lab as I was walking by, I waved, she waved and smiled back. Still no phone call.

Ugh, I am obsessing about this girl too much. I can't help it, I miss her. I miss her calling me all the time. It hurts so much that I lost that. Maybe it will get better if I start dating someone else, but to do that, I'm going to have to get my ass in gear with this Bootcamp.

I am so depressed. Girls are the Devil

Week 1 Hi count: 14

onward,

 

[onyx]

why dont you try dating some other gurls, as soon as your ex sees you she might get jealous and start foning you again?

i dunno just a idea

peace

 

[Microphone Fiend]

yow, im trying the BC again too. My third time trying, I got to week 1 and 2 the last 2 times... Good Luck man

EDIT : I'm over in the HS section. I'm startin this week, but that last time I did it was in the summer time

 

[Ever onward]

Thanks for the replies guys.

Onyx - I am trying to date other girls, that's why I'm doing bootcamp. I feel like the only way to force myself out there to meet girls is through the discipline bootcamp provides. If I stick to it that is.

Microphone Fiend - Where are you posting at? I'm not on the board too much these days so I haven't read many bootcamp journals lately. I made it to week 4 before with great success. If I can get over the rejections in week 4 I know I can do anything. Good luck to you too.

UPDATE

It's official. I'm going out with my ex gf Sat night. It's so weird, it's like a date but not really. I even asked her if its a date and she started to back off a little so I'm confused. I feel like I should go out with her, even if its only as a friend (I don't have much of a social life...YET) and show her what a great guy she is missing out on. You know, tease her, be C+F, ect. and most of all be social and have fun. Hopefully, if I keep at the BC I will be dating other girls in a few weeks. Why would I want to date a girl with a low IL anyways? She obviously has low interest. She's too busy with her important life for me, she dumped me. Not good.

Hi count is at 20. Need 30 more in the next 4 days.

hi count: 20

onward,

 

[Ever onward]

GF UPDATE

She (Clara) came over to my house last Thursday, Friday and Saturday night. She said that she wanted us to try to be a couple and that she has more time for me now that the election is over.

I thought things went well though I was worried she would get bored with me just hanging out at my house. Anyways, since last Sat night we've spoken on the phone only a few times and she came over Tuesday afternoon (we made out). I haven't really seen her since then. She has called me maybe one time and I have did my best NOT to call her as well.

But I don't know what to think. Even though she said she wanted to date me again she has since backed off and keeps saying "I'm afraid of commitment" Who ever heard of a girl saying she was afraid of commitment? It's obvious that her IL in me must be pretty low to say sh!t like that.

I'll give my BC update in the next post.

 

[Ever onward]

Bootcamp update

If you can call it that. It doesn't even feel like I'm in Bootcamp anymore. I didn't meet my goal of getting the 50 hi's by Monday. I had 45 as of this morning and I am sure I have passed the 50 hi mark already today.

Ughhhh this time felt different. Maybe it's because I have done this already and I want to be pushing myself further. It seemed like most of the girls I said hi to weren't as friendly this time and as a result I feel crappy about the whole thing.

On the other hand, maybe my problem has been obsessing over Clara. She is far and away the hottest GF I have ever had and she's a 20 year old to boot. That sure is hard to let go of. But I feel like crap. She doesn't know what she wants but it's pretty obvious her interest in me isn't that great, despite what she says.

Maybe week 2 will be better. Having 10 conversations with strangers isn't as much of a chore as the 50 his. My motivation needs to pick up again. I need to get that back.

Right now, after the reactions I've had from the girls I've been saying hi to, I can't imagine pushing myself to approach strangers and start talking.

But I'm gonna press on

week 1 complete

onward,

 

[AlwaysLearning]

Originally posted by Ever onward
Bootcamp update

She doesn't know what she wants but it's pretty obvious her interest in me isn't that great, despite what she says.

Man STOP TALKING TO THIS GIRL.

This relationship with her is not going to work out. If you keep talking to her, it's just going to make things harder.

Look at yourself, you're having a hard time speaking to new girls because you can't move on. You won't move on until you stop all contact with Clara.

If she moves on, and you're still hung up on her, prepare to get really f*cked up in the head.

Tell her you need a break and ignore her completely. This is bullsh*t.

-AL

 

[Ever onward]

It's hard to break it off with her. Nothing bad happened at all between us except she says she has a fear of commitment (at times she wants to be exclusive) and from her actions, I take it she has low interest.

It's really hard to break it off when every once in awhile she'll come over, hang out, make out, ect ect.

But you are right. Right now my self esteem is shot and that is because I have let her actions dictate how I feel.

I have pretty much cut off contact with her. I don't call her anymore and if she calls me I'll keep it brief and tell her that I don't have much time to talk.

onward,

 

[Ever onward]

I've decided to start with the week 2 conversations tomorrow. I feel like I'm running out of places to approach random strangers, with the previous bootcamp and all. But I won't give up.

I went to a video store last night. I saw this chick that I chatted up before working there. We flirted a bit and I wanted to ask for her number but I bailed because her co workers were right there.

I know that if I can just get one phone number, I know that my enthusiasm will return. This is just so hard right now.

I've read a quote in Duke007's bootcamp journal about success being in your mind and such. I do believe that. When I was having success in my last bootcamp it was because I felt unstoppable. I know a couple of phone numbers will get me going again.

Okay enough of my b!tch whining. Hopefully in the next few days I can get some conversations going and give a real bootcamp update. Never give up

onward,

 

[duke007]

I went to a video store last night. I saw this chick that I chatted up before working there. We flirted a bit and I wanted to ask for her number but I bailed because her co workers were right there.

I remember something similar happening to me last year. I was chatting to a video store girl while she was cleaning the shelves, and because I was a newb we'd been talking for about 30 minutes before I decided to go for the number.

But her female boss was slowly replacing videos on the shelf behind us so I was too scared to number close. It took the boss another 30 minutes to return to the front desk, by which time I went for the number and failed dismally. The boss had eavesdropped for half an hour and didn't really care I was trying to pickup her employee.

I learnt from this never to let workmates or other people get in the way of number closes. Hopefully you'll be ballsier next time you go in there - just remember that either they won't care or will think highly of you for being so gutsy

look forward to the next post

 

[JDW]

On the other hand, maybe my problem has been obsessing over Clara. She is far and away the hottest GF I have ever had and she's a 20 year old to boot. That sure is hard to let go of. But I feel like crap. She doesn't know what she wants but it's pretty obvious her interest in me isn't that great, despite what she says.

Dude, this sounds so not good. Are you sure you are finished healing from this relationship? I can tell you *know* a clean break is the way to go, but are having trouble acting on it.

If you have decided to finish a relationship for absolutely sure (which I think you have) then you might want just have some fun by yourself for a few weeks and enjoy your guy mates. Maybe you went back into BC a little too soon? Have a break with no thoughts of girls and just enjoy your singledom. If you are obsessing over an ex and doing bootcamp, every girl you approach is going to remind you of your ex and make you depressed. You can see it in your posts.

Break, then heal, then BC to get out there again. Healing takes a few days for some, a few weeks for others and few months for the really really big relationship breakups.

You don't have to date more girls to get over your ex, you have to just be happy with yourself and then you will want to go out with other girls, in fact you will be itching to go get out there and I bet BC will be just as much fun as it was the first time.

Kudos for your efforts though!

Joe

 

[Ever onward]

Dude, this sounds so not good. Are you sure you are finished healing from this relationship? I can tell you *know* a clean break is the way to go, but are having trouble acting on it.

If you have decided to finish a relationship for absolutely sure (which I think you have) then you might want just have some fun by yourself for a few weeks and enjoy your guy mates. Maybe you went back into BC a little too soon? Have a break with no thoughts of girls and just enjoy your singledom. If you are obsessing over an ex and doing bootcamp, every girl you approach is going to remind you of your ex and make you depressed. You can see it in your posts.

Your right, I am not finished healing from the relationship. I don't know why this is hitting me so hard, we were only together 3 weeks.

Maybe it's because I was on such a high before. When I first did the bootcamp I felt like I was taking life by the balls for the first time ever and nothing could get me down. Now it seems like all that was in my head and just a bunch of crap. I probably miss the feeling I had more than I miss the girl.

That is why I want to do the bootcamp again. I don't think I want another gf anytime soon other than casual dating or whatever. I just want to get back to that place I was at, god it felt good.

But you're right again. I am only half-assing my way through this and I'm probably getting little out of it. Taking a break sounds about right even though I feel as though time is passing me by and I can't stand it. Maybe in a few weeks I'll be ready to pick up from week 2 (no more damn hi's) lol, then again it's probably a good idea to keep saying hi in the mean time to keep my socialness up.

In the meantime, if I do any approaches, I will post about it on this thread. I will also continue to hang around the board and contribute as much as possible, get my head back in the game.

onward,

 

[JDW]

Besides sounding a bit down your attitude is really good so I have no doubt things will look up really quickly. Just keep smiling and remind yourself that it only gets better each day and no feeling lasts forever.

Joe

 

[TurboLover]

Hey EO,

It good to see your still sticking with it. With that one girl, things like this happen, you will get jerked around a bit, and it will mess with your head. But only as much as you make it.

Because I have been there. But the more and more you get out there with these girls, the more you will be able not to rush into things.

Don't let that sh*t bum you out. You would not sell out your happiness for 10 million dollars would you? So why sell it out everyday when this girl comes to mind.

So go out, balls to the wall, and have fun. Fun, thats what it is all about. I remember meeting a girl that was a virgin also. And what is funny is that you find that you have an effect on some women that will make them do stuff they never thought they would do. What I am trying to say is, with the way your were going before, it will not be hard to find a women who adores you.


Carlos