"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Ever notice this about men's clothing?

Atom Smasher

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And now something a little different from Atom Smasher...

Men seem to fall into two categories. One is the naturally neat-looking guy who can still look good dressed down in super-casual attire.

The other is the kind who look great when dressed neatly, but looks kind-of sloppy when dressed down, even if dressing down means a plain, clean ironed shirt and decent jeans.

Unfortunately, I fall into the latter class. When I wear a nice dress shirt, pants and shoes, women notice me and smile. When I wear jeans and a polo shirt, perhaps with running shoes, they are afraid of me LOL.

I must say that I look like kind of a slob when dressed down, and I look quite good with better clothing. I guess it's just intrinsic looks or lack thereof that come into play here.

It does go to show, however, that when a woman sees an ordinary guy who takes pride in himself and shows that fact to the world by dressing decently, she will be infinitely more likely to be attracted to him. I've said it before and I'll say it again, intrinsic good looks are not required to attract women. A simple, rudinentary display of self-respect and awareness of how you present your self to the world is all that matters to them. Easy peasey. (Never thought I'd ever type that phrase).

The outer environment and appearance of a man indicates who he is on the inside, and women know this instinctively. They generally love a neat appearance, they absolutely LOVE a clean car (the interior) and a clean house and especially bathroom. All of these things speak LOUDLY to women. Of course there are men who can break some or all of these rules. These are the ones with killer game and/or incredible looks. But for us average-to not-so-attractive guys, the aforementioned factors come into play big-time.

I wish I were the kind of guy who looked good dressed down, but I don't. I remember the guys in my band always encouraging me to wear simple T-shirts like them, to fit in better, but now I cringe as I look at those pictures from a couple years ago. I should never have listened and should have went with what I knew made me look good.

Oh well, at least I have the "magic formula" now and know what to do.

Seriously, guys... Demonstrate a little awareness of style and neatness and you will see a world of difference in how women respond to you.

Now if I can just figure out what to do about my "Hank Hill" ass (which means no ass whatsoever), I'll be golden.

This post is all over the place, I know. I'm just doing a stream-of-consciousness thing tonight.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Galactus

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True stuff there. Designer pants or jeans might help with the Hank Hill ass.

My problem is I love jeans too much. I hate khakis. Is there some kind of pants that are maybe dressier than jeans, but don't look like dress slacks?

And what are some rules about jewelry? I want to wear some, but I don't want to look like Ludacris.
 

Atom Smasher

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Since my ass is made of anti-matter, I'll take your advice and look into some designer jeans.

I'd like to see if anyone else has an answer for you regarding other types of pants.

One thing I know about jewelry, is that understatement is key. "They" say that one piece of unique jewelry, along with a watch, is more than enough. Anything more is seen as "try hard" and tacky. Seems reasonable to me in today's climate.

I've started to wear manly necklaces to good effect. Not tacky gold stuff but understated leather/copper other metal combinations. These days it's easy for jewelry to overpower a man and call attention to itself. Gold will do that. But more understated jewelry will tend to be percieved as a part of you, as opposed to something that is "on" you.
 

ENIGMA16

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Galactus said:
My problem is I love jeans too much. I hate khakis. Is there some kind of pants that are maybe dressier than jeans, but don't look like dress slacks?
Just get some raw denim; you can look good in jeans as long as you buy some quality ones that fit properly.
 

Desert Fox

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what's your height and weight?

clothes making you look bad is usually because you're overweight. fat. it's not like clothes have to do with your face.

i know from personal experience. years ago way back in high school i was a chubby little kid. wore t shirts and cargo pants like a computer nerd and looked the part.

then one year i asked a chick out to a dance and she said she already had been asked. no biggie.

but 10 minutes later in the next class some dude pulls some extravagant sh1t and asks her and she accepts.

that made me feel really bad so i went home and took a good hard look in the mirror. i asked myself why. i asked the chubby kid in the mirror why and the answer was clear. i was not attractive.

that day i wrote down a diet plan, workout plan, and put it in motion. 4 months later after summer break i returned 2 inches taller and a lean mean machine. i went out and got clothes that actually fit me without having to suck in my belly. nothing tight like muscle Ts, i hate that but just shirts that fit well and weren't baggy. lost my glasses, got contacts, nice shoes that would actually be seen now that my pants weren't baggy as hell. etc.

let me tell you buying clothes was 10x easier too since most people are fat and take the fat sizes like 36 and 38 haha. 32 much easier to get. anyways, i agree clothes are important, but without the body you're still at square one.

get in shape if you're not, i dunno your situation and that's your business but if you're fat you should know it and it should be the 1st thing to change. if your'e skinny, not as big a deal, but some muscle and strong shoulders help your fit as well.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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kingsam

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Atom Smasher said:
Unfortunately, I fall into the latter class. When I wear a nice dress shirt, pants and shoes, women notice me and smile. When I wear jeans and a polo shirt, perhaps with running shoes, they are afraid of me LOL.
many many running shoes often dont go well with jeans,
plenty more casual-type shoes that go do well
 

Elky

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Learn more about fashion do's and dont's. Read up on GQ. Get a professional stylist if you can.

A man with a good style of clothing is a successful man in a woman's eyes.

I also suggest steering away from the polo and jeans. It is not very appealing.
 

Atom Smasher

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Yup, I think you are correct now that I think about it, Desert Fox. My problem has always been a propensity for a pot belly, but in the past year I have gone from 220 lbs to 198. Somehow I have always hidden the excess weight well (at 220, people were always shocked when I told them, as they would have guessed 170 to 180). However, I didn't hide it well enough to avoid looking bad in casual clothing.

The bottom line is that I'm on the right track and the belly is slowly shrinking (that's always the last to go when you're older), and now I'm converting fat into muscle.

I think you have hit the nail on the head. Excess weight, even 10 lbs over, will tend to make a man look sloppy in casual clothes.

By the way, for those of you who are a little or a lot overweight, I've noticed that as my weight has decreased and my belly has been shrinking, my "manhood" looks a lot more impressive. The more overweight you are, the smaller it appears.

It's like that optical illusion where two identically-sized circles are shown on a page. One circle is surrounded by smaller circles. The other circle is surrounded by big circles. The one surrounded by smaller circles looks much larger than the other one.

Here's a link:
http://www.mindfake.com/illusion_4.html

This is a VERY gratifying aspect to losing weight and getting into shape.
 
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