Ever hooked up with a girl with herpes?

[Digitz]

Hey guys,

Does anyone have experience going out with a girl with genital herpes?

She just told me this the other night after we've been going out for a couple of weeks. I met her on this yoga retreat where I told her I wasn't having sex or drinking alcohol for 40 days (it had gotten a little out of control). I've had a great time hanging with her and she gives amazing head (whoops) but I don't know about having sex with her after she told me this.

Is it worth holding onto or moving on? She's very cool, very hot and seems like she's got a good head on her shoulders.
I'm 27 and have been playing the field for a long time now. I've had my fill and would eventually like to get with someone that fits. So far she has but herpes scares me, I don't want that sh*t.

Thoughts/experiences would be appreciated.

Thanks

 

[PDubb75]

Uhh... is this real?

You will get herpes. Whether she has an outbreak at the time or not. Why would you mess with that? The only way I would get with someone that had herpes, if if I had herpes.

Be grateful she told you, and get out.

 

[Digitz]

Fair enough.

She told me she hasn't had an outbreak in 5 years and her last boyfriend didn't get it but how do I know about that.

I don't want to risk getting the herp so I guess I cut the cord.

Cheers

 

[FairShake]

You really shouldn't.

Herp derp.

 

[Iceberg]

Uhh... is this real?

You will get herpes. Whether she has an outbreak at the time or not. Why would you mess with that? The only way I would get with someone that had herpes, if if I had herpes.

Be grateful she told you, and get out.

I would agree that it's not worth the risk. But I'll disagree with your certainty that he will get herpes. There have been married couples who have been together for decades who haven't spread it from the infected partner to the other.

Bacterial diseases transmit easily. Viruses like herpes and HIV are more difficult to spread.

But as I said in the very beginning, ehhh...not worth the risk.

 

[origin138]

Wouldn't you rather have a girl who didn't have herpes?

No brainer here man.

 

[Burroughs]

Is it worth holding onto or moving on? She's very cool, very hot and seems like she's got a good head on her shoulders.
I'm 27 and have been playing the field for a long time now. I've had my fill and would eventually like to get with someone that fits. So far she has but herpes scares me, I don't want that sh*t.

Thoughts/experiences would be appreciated.

Thanks

I'm not trying to be a prick here.....

but the fact that you are even considering this...

MAN ARE YOU A FVCKING IDIOT!?

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Digitz,
Herpes has to be one of the nastiest STD you can get....You really are being very silly,and will bitterly regret going any further with this unfortunate Lady....You have put yourself at risk already by having Oral with her...His Doctor told one of our regular contributors not long ago that this was probably how he contracted this rotten disease....Go along to your local STD clinic should be free,and have a friendly chat...Frankly I am horrified!!

 

[Zarky]

LOL I've banged a few chicks who had the herp. Made sure there was no outbreak at the time and I haven't (knock on wood) ever gotten it. In fact I dated a chick for years who had it.

 

[Bible_Belt]

I married a girl with herpes, fvcked her all the time for seven years without a condom, and never got anything.

You're actually more likely to get herpes by fvcking random girls, especially if you think a condom will protect you. The people who transmit herpes typically do not know they have it; often they just got it, which is also the time that the virus is strongest in the body.

She should be on daily anti-viral meds. Valtrex was the old stuff, but famvir was better, last I checked. She will feel an outbreak coming on, and all you have to do is not have sex until the outbreak clears up. With every year that passes since she contracted the virus, the outbreaks will be fewer and less severe. The virus becomes less contagious with time.

Science will tell you that even if she does not have an outbreak, you may still become infected due to asymptomatic viral shedding. It is technically true, but also very unlikely. I have never heard of it happening. The scientific journal articles I read all base that assertion upon lab experiments, a lot of them just cultures in petri dishes; it's not based upon human experience.

Life is full of risks, and I can't guarantee that she won't infect you. But don't think that if you dump her and go after other girls, then you are assured that you won't still get herpes or even something worse. All sex has risk, but at least with this girl you know the risk and you should have developed enough of a sense of her intelligence and character to be able to make the decision of whether to trust her or not.

 

[Poonani Maker]

I've been with a sh!t-ton of women and haven't contracted herpes, knock on wood, but if I Knew that she had it, I would not risk it, but tell her "thanks for your honesty, see ya!"

 

[betheman]

Put the boot on the other foot, tella girl you have herpes, what would her reaction be?
is it worth the risk? not for me but you have already begun taking risks as the virus that causes cold sores (lips mouth) is in about 50% of cases, the same virus that causes genital herpes.

 

[Die Hard]

You want fvcking SORES on your D!CK?!?!

Dude, if you were married to this girl for 15 years and had been supporting each other through rough times etc. etc. I could understand how you would perhaps stay with her despite the herpes... But now, in this situation where you just got to know her?! That sounds fvcking desperate, my man...

Plenty more fish in the sea. Throw this one back in the water and catch yourself a new one. One that DOESN'T cause sores on your d!ck!!

And don't be giving me bullsh!t about you feeling bad about yourself for dumping her because of this issue. You're not Jesus, out there to be good and kind to all other people, even if it hurts yourself...

 

[Who Dares Win]

I admitt Im ignorant on the subject, anyone can provide me a link about this herpes disease? the only herpes I know about is that ugly thing coming in some people lips sometimes.

 

[SecondHalf]

Just google it, there is tons of information.

Google this and click images, that should be enough of a deterrent!

"genital herpes outbreak pictures"

SH

 

[Bible_Belt]

you have already begun taking risks as the virus that causes cold sores (lips mouth) is in about 50% of cases, the same virus that causes genital herpes.

HSV1 typically causes cold sores. It is possible to get HSV1 in the genital area, but 99% of the people who do will only have one outbreak. HSV1 is not strong enough to create recurring genital outbreaks like HSV2.

By about the time you kiss your second or third girl in life (or an evening), you have in all likelihood been exposed to HSV1. A lot of people get it when they are kids by sharing a drinking glass; they don't even have to kiss anyone.

Here's something no one wants to hear, but I would guess that most of us have already had sex with women who were HSV2+. A lot of times, a person with their first outbreak does not know what it is. It will clear up on its own, and then that person just resumes an active sex life. It can be months, or even years, before the recurring outbreaks start happening. Sometimes they never do. And some people can contract the virus, and never even have the initial outbreak. It's different in everyone.

 

[samspade]

This is why having options and nexting were invented. If you can't next a woman with herpes, you can you next??

 

[Digitz]

Appreciate your input boys.

We're all men here and have "nexted" many I'm sure. This is a lame term by the way.

These women are great people and deserve respect; they are you at the core and I would hope we all find an equal partner to admire and grow with.

Regardless, I agree, it was a harder decision than dumping some party girl as we have a connection that is past sex. She's great but at the end of the day, sex is about 25% of the person I'm attracted to and it's not going to be there with the herp on my mind.

Moving on.

Cheers

 

[SoldMySoul]

Bible Belt offered the most sincere, thought of advice if OP is really considering it. However, I can see/ relate with other posters point of view. It really is a tough call and IT SPEAKS VOLUMES she fessed up and told him. Says a lot about her character and I suggest others to read up on the herpes simplex virus.

I have gotten cold sores (herpes simplex 1, I believe, with anything south in the genital region being simplex 2) since I was born. I have performed oral sex on a lot of women. NONE have ever contracted it and we did not play tennis giving it back and forth. Bear in mind, cold sores on the mouth will turn into herpes simplex if they get it.

It really is a tough call.... Would I personally get involved? Maybe...I would have to spend quite a lot of time with her before I made the ultimate decision. But again, her saying it means she is better than most and that means a hell of a lot these days!!!

Also, as BB suggested, the virus weakens over time and outbreaks are less common as you age.

IS THE JUICE WORTH THE SQUEEZE????

 

[Hullothere]

lol half the people in this thread probably have the herp. Its extremely common and most probably never get an outbreak. If you have ever had a cold sore, even as a child, you have herpes.

I think the infection rate in the US for HSV-1 alone is 65% (not including HSV-2). If you are hitting on chicks that aren't super prude or religious, you have to figure that the percentage goes up even more from there. So for every 4 girls you kiss in a bar, 3 has at least HSV-1. If you have slept with at least 10 women in your life, your odds of not having been in contact with it is nearly zero.

HSV-2 is a little more nasty of a creature so I won't comment on that. However, I'm not really sure you can live a life where you plan on sleeping with more then 3-4 women and still be worried about it since its so common.