Ever have one of those, that used to be me, moments

[Canadian Catnip]

Hi guys, I had a event happen the other day that made me feel really good about moving away from my old AFC self.

I was in my favorite coffee shop queuing up for a coffee. There are lots of regulars there and I happened to be standing behind this one guy I had seen before. I don't mean to judge him and I had never talked to him but from his body language he seemed to be an AFC, or at least very weak.

One of the off duty staff, a young girl in her early twenties came in and got in line to get a drink. My first thought was, why is she in line? Every time I've seen other staff member that works here come in for a coffee, they walk in behind the counter and pour a coffee for themselves.

So she is just behind me and I turn to her and just before I say anything the AFC guy in front of me turns to her and says "Can I get you anything?"

I wait a beat for what he said it to sink in, and then I say "What the heck are you lining up for? You're staff. Can't you just walk behind the counter and make any drink you want?"

She thinks about it for a half a second then says "I should just go back there and make the drink for myself"

She left the line and went behind the counter to make her coffee drink.

I assumed AFC guy was left feeling he had missed his opportunity to show her what a great guy he was by buying her a coffee.

Me on the other hand, I was a jerk to her as far as HE could tell, I told her to get the hell out of line and don't be so lazy.

I could see the dynamics that were going on there in the quick ten second interaction.

Everything I have learned about frames, dominance and submissiveness, were all present in that ten seconds.

I am so glad I'm not like that anymore. I may not be an Alpha male, but at least I am no longer trying to get women to like me anymore. Hallelujah.

 

[tsmith2334]

My game is always improving, so I'm not trying to say that I'm some kind of super Don Jon in this post... BUT...

I do tend to notice many guys doing A LOT of things I wouldn't recommended as I sit back and observe others...

Last night for example I saw someone applying too much kino. There was no flow to it. I think it's best if used sparingly at first, then applied heavily later as feelings increase. The guy I saw doing it yesterday used it so heavily off the bat and made his intentions blatantly obvious instead of subtle and gradual. Not clever and masked kino either, just touching her arm to emphasize things.... like... every sentence. That's just not the way I would do things.

I noticed another guy gaming a girl at a party. The problem there was that she was already preoccupied with another guy. While his approach wasn't bad, it was ultimately fruitless. In that instance, less is more. I barely showed her any attention. Truthfully, I don't even care and did better for myself than he did.

That's just stuff I've picked up on that I see other people need to learn. Of course, there's a lot I still need to learn too. Hopefully though I am above average in my knowledge and techniques.

 

[slaog]

It feels good for me too when I see AFC behaviour in others. Not because I want AFC's to fail but because it tells me how much I've progressed over the last year.

I now can look at peoples body language and get a good idea of their personality. I think I can see things from a womans point of view in that regard and I also think of what I must have looked like back in my very AFC days.

 

[War Against Betaism]

There are a lot of my friends that aren't really AFC's and get fine ass women, but there's this one guy I know that really reminded me of my old self. This bomb ass HB9 came along with one of my friends. There was another HB8 that came along with her but all people thought about was the HB9. All of us were trying to get at her. The next day I hang out with my friend all day, and all he did was talk about the HB9 and how she's the most beautiful woman his eyes laid upon and how if he got her number that night, he would call her up and set up a date on Thursday to the finest restaurant he could afford (which I know will be pretty damn expensive because he's rich). He just kept on fantasizing different scenarios throughout the whole day just talking about the HB9. I wanted her too, but not that badly. If I was my old self I would probably be doing the same thing he was doing.

 

[slickaz]

i feel you man.

i got this half arab half meditteranean HB9 here thats a good friend..we hang out alot. she just got out of a loong relationship and threw the ring back at his face.

everytime im hanging out with her, i get alot of attention from other girls and the first question they ask is "is she your girl?" i always say "haha! she wishes!"..i guess that shows some kind of alpha male quality that girls desire..so i do get attention..she doesnt mind me saying "no! she wishes!" coz she knows im just playing.

however! ive seen so so many! guys act so AFC around her..like this one guy, bought a whole bunch of roses from a rose seller at the club we were at (here we have a guy that has a basket of roses walk into restruants and clubs to sell) and she says thank you.
and this guy goes : "I want to win your heart over! and id work so hard to give you everything you want just to have you as mine" - pretty much word for word..
she goes : <wierd look> you already won me over! just as a friend though.<smile>

He: <doesnt give up here> Yes i know im loving our friendship but i want more from you, i have so much love for you"

she: you're starting to freak me out, SLICK! lets get out of here.

turns out that guy was a friend of a friend, and hes always acting real stupid around her...and we have bumped into him at parties after, which she usually replies as "slick and me are seeing each other..." just so he'll leave her alone..
this does affect my game on girls but when i deny it it works magic...lol.

anyway just my rant..i would never have done this back in high school..when i had a hb8.5 as a friend i used to try some stupid stuff to get her attention...
then i guess i just grew into a "i dont give a sh!t" kinda dude..so now i naturally display some arrogance and pinch of rudeness and it works wonders.

anyway good lookin tho

 

[Canadian Catnip]

Good stuff guys.

Funny how the things that some guys do and say to women that I used to assumed were good, seem creepy to me now when I see or hear other guys doing them.

I see guys now that broadcast that they want a girl so loudly with their body language these days that sometimes it makes me shutter.

What's even funnier is they don't have a clue as to how it is coming across.

Each and everyone has to learn by making mistakes.

Another quick story. Was having a coffee a few days ago, this afc was sitting at the counter bugging the waitress, trying to talk to her and get her attention.

I grabbed my coffee and was looking for a place to sit. After about 10 minutes the guy gets up to leave and I ask him if I can take his seat at the bar. He said to me as he got up to leave. "Yes, you can sit here, it's your turn to supervise everything the waitress does OK"

He said to me but said it loud enough so the waitress could hear him as well. I thought to myself, Oh my god, did he really just say that? doesn't he know just how creepy that sounds?

I was almost tempted to say something to him like "Sorry dude, that's just creepy" so I wouldn't be seen as a creep by association.

There is AFC and there is Creepy.

 

[kingman]

Good stuff guys.


I grabbed my coffee and was looking for a place to sit. After about 10 minutes the guy gets up to leave and I ask him if I can take his seat at the bar. He said to me as he got up to leave. "Yes, you can sit here, it's your turn to supervise everything the waitress does OK"

He said to me but said it loud enough so the waitress could hear him as well. I thought to myself, Oh my god, did he really just say that? doesn't he know just how creepy that sounds?
[QUOTE=


Lol, that comment can be good if you make it sound funny, ,

Like :"Yes, you can sit here, it's your turn to supervise everything the waitress does OK" Just joking , ha ha ha ha

But there is a dangerous line between creepy/ nasty and funny.......
I have burned myself on that one time as I can remember.. LOL

 

[Canadian Catnip]

Lol, that comment can be good if you make it sound funny, ,

Like :"Yes, you can sit here, it's your turn to supervise everything the waitress does OK" Just joking , ha ha ha ha

But there is a dangerous line between creepy/ nasty and funny.......
I have burned myself on that one time as I can remember.. LOL

I have had the same thing happen as well. I tend not to make too many C/F comments these days. There is always too much of a chance of it sounding stupid, creepy or childish.

In my opinion, I've found the best for me is not to try any of those lines unless the women is already warmed up. ie: we were already bantering back and forth. Even then I will still use them sparingly. Some women are looking for something to disqualify you. Like Tom Leykia said, Keep your mouth shut.

Game is all about calibration. It's the basketball player that has practiced his skill for years who can make a basket on almost every shot. Anyone can be given the ball and take a wild shot, he will probably miss though. That's how I look at it.