ever go through your girlfriends cellphone?

[sav]

lets hear bout it.....

i personally like going straight to the text messages.... so much incriminating stuff there.. its like a rolodex of contacts that they will **** after your next fight...

oh and i love it when you bust them sending messages like "i really really like you" to some guy and they act like its your fault by saying **** like "i never gave you reason not to trust me..!"

ladies, this isnt the ****ing legal system where evidence cant be used if its obtained illegally...


ok enough of me ranting... oh and save your "if you dont trust her, you shouldnt be with her" garbage... guess what.. 99% of the girls you cant trust.. and believe me your girl isnt that 1%... its not a trust issue or an insecurity issue, its more of a screening proccess to find that 1 girl that you CAN actually trust.

 

[Sean O]

its not a trust issue or an insecurity issue, its more of a screening proccess to find that 1 girl that you CAN actually trust.

You can tell yourselt that as much as you want, but it won't make it true. If you weren't so insecure, you would feel no desire to invade your girl's privacy. And you know what? I'd be willing to bet that if you weren't so insecure, your girl wouldn't be sending messages to other guys saying "I really really like you". She's sensing your cynical weakness, and it's turning her off; THAT's why she's prepared to cheat on you, man.

Most women have it in them to be faithful, but only if her man has his sh1t together, i.e. if he has inner game.

 

[sav]

You can tell yourselt that as much as you want, but it won't make it true. If you weren't so insecure, you would feel no desire to invade your girl's privacy. And you know what? I'd be willing to bet that if you weren't so insecure, your girl wouldn't be sending messages to other guys saying "I really really like you". She's sensing your cynical weakness, and it's turning her off; THAT's why she's prepared to cheat on you, man.

Most women have it in them to be faithful, but only if her man has his sh1t together, i.e. if he has inner game.

please come back to reality my friend... i really enjoy this site and have been on it for a long time and it has helped me immensely. girls cheat. period. end of story. i know one girl that has been with her guy for 5 years now, cheated on him with my friend, and they are still together (the guy she was with prior).. guess what, all girls have it in them to cheat, its not about having your game together, its about their nature...

at first i was like you, i'd never go through a girls cellphone or invade her privacy in any way... life teaches hard lessons unfortunately and until SHE proves that she can be trusted, im not going to trust her... i'll be loving, caring, faithful and everything, just not initially trusting... dont be naive and think the world is a perfect place where women dont cheat if you have yoru game together.. women cheat for no logical reasons...

 

[Sean O]

Bro, everyone has it in them to cheat, male or female. What I said was that most women DO have it in them to be faithful if they think their man is worth it.

You sound like you've been cheated on before, and because of that experience your perception of women and relationships has been seriously warped. Well, guess what? I've been cheated on before, too. I had been going through a rough time in my life, and one night when I was with my girl, she sensed that something was bothering me and asked me what was wrong. I explained that it was just some family stuff and that she didn't need to worry because I could handle it myself. She didn't seem to like that response, so she asked me why I wouldn't tell her anything, and I explained that I didn't want to involve anyone unnecessarily in my problems. Long story short, this lead up to a big argument, and eventually, after I determined that I wouldn't be able to calm her down, I walked out. I found out a couple of days later that she had cheated on me.

Needless to say, I was pretty hurt and pissed off to hear about that, so I confronted her and demanded that she explain herself. She said that she felt hurt and rejected after I refused to let her in on my problem. She interpreted that as "I'm pushing you away because I don't want you in my life". This was a HUGE eye-opener for me. See, we were both thinking of each others' best interests, but while she wanted to help me through my issue because she wanted me to feel better, I wanted to leave her out of the issue because I didn't want to add something negative to her life. We talked about this for a while, and once we understood each other on the issue we reconciled. Since then, our relationship has been better than ever.

See what I'm saying? If a woman is happy with her man, she won't cheat. If she isn't, whether it's because of a misunderstanding or because the guy is the type who invades others' privacy, she'll probably cheat. If you remain level-headed and deal with these issues in a mature manner when they come up, you can better know how to deal with them, i.e. whether it's better to work things out or next her.

 

[CrunchyNut]

Yes, girls do cheat. But trees fall on people and, believe it or not, 10000 Americans are electrocuted yearly by their alarm clocks. Yet this doesnt stop people using clocks or going for walks in the woods, or even make them be particularly cautious when doing so. If you spend a relationship looking over your shoulder, then your girlfriend is going to sense an insecurity. You are better off moving past the insecurities and trusting her.

 

[Sean O]

^^Great post, CrunchyNut.

 

[Mr_knowit_all]

Bro, everyone has it in them to cheat, male or female. What I said was that most women DO have it in them to be faithful if they think their man is worth it.

You sound like you've been cheated on before, and because of that experience your perception of women and relationships has been seriously warped. Well, guess what? I've been cheated on before, too. I had been going through a rough time in my life, and one night when I was with my girl, she sensed that something was bothering me and asked me what was wrong. I explained that it was just some family stuff and that she didn't need to worry because I could handle it myself. She didn't seem to like that response, so she asked me why I wouldn't tell her anything, and I explained that I didn't want to involve anyone unnecessarily in my problems. Long story short, this lead up to a big argument, and eventually, after I determined that I wouldn't be able to calm her down, I walked out. I found out a couple of days later that she had cheated on me.

Needless to say, I was pretty hurt and pissed off to hear about that, so I confronted her and demanded that she explain herself. She said that she felt hurt and rejected after I refused to let her in on my problem. She interpreted that as "I'm pushing you away because I don't want you in my life". This was a HUGE eye-opener for me. See, we were both thinking of each others' best interests, but while she wanted to help me through my issue because she wanted me to feel better, I wanted to leave her out of the issue because I didn't want to add something negative to her life. We talked about this for a while, and once we understood each other on the issue we reconciled. Since then, our relationship has been better than ever.

See what I'm saying? If a woman is happy with her man, she won't cheat. If she isn't, whether it's because of a misunderstanding or because the guy is the type who invades others' privacy, she'll probably cheat. If you remain level-headed and deal with these issues in a mature manner when they come up, you can better know how to deal with them, i.e. whether it's better to work things out or next her.

LOL...YOU'RE A FVCKING IDIOT!!!! Your girl had your best interest at heart, so when you asked her for a little space she cheated on you? And you forgave her for it?

I guess I'm not surprised. This coming from a guy who blames other men if their women cheat on them. I have a scoop for you, you can do everything right as a man, and the bytch still might cheat on you.

Sure that's part of life, but get off this shyt about it being something we as men aren't doing. Most women lack integrity, that has nothing to do with how much of a man we are.

 

[Jay Jay]

Only to find the numbers of her hot friends :cheer:

Seriously, for you paranoid guys who do invade your girls privacy, that isn't cool. If you can't trust your girlfriend you shouldn't be with her. If you can't trust women you have serious problems.

Jealousy and fear will not only undermine and destroy your relationships they will devastate your happiness and self esteem.

As CrunchyNut has pointed out there is no point in living in fear of what might happen.

And as Lao Tse says;

"If you trust no one
No one will trust you."

JJ

 

[Sean O]

LOL...YOU'RE A FVCKING IDIOT!!!! Your girl had your best interest at heart, so when you asked her for a little space she cheated on you? And you forgave her for it?

Easy there, big fella. You're having a little too much fun with this. Besides, I only posted the gist of what she and I talked about after I confronted her. She made a mistake, and she felt terrible about it once she realized it. Once I saw this, I decided that I was willing to give her another chance, and so far she has not disppointed me. Believe me, she knows that I won't tolerate that kind of thing a second time.

I guess I'm not surprised. This coming from a guy who blames other men if their women cheat on them. I have a scoop for you, you can do everything right as a man, and the bytch still might cheat on you.

You're reading too far into what I said. What I said was: "If a woman is happy with her man, she won't cheat." What a woman needs to be happy with her man depends on the woman herself. Sometimes women are just really fvcked up in the head, and no matter what happens she'll never be happy with her situation, therefore she will cheat. However, even you have to admit that this is only the case for some women.

Sure that's part of life, but get off this shyt about it being something we as men aren't doing. Most women lack integrity, that has nothing to do with how much of a man we are.

Again, you're reading too far into what I said. It's not a matter of "doing" anything to keep your girl around. You should never try to fake who you are, especially not for that purpose (that's not to say that you shouldn't still try to grow as a person, but you see what I'm saying). Instead, it's a matter of compatibility. Sometimes there's enough of a spark in the beginning to get things going, but after a while things just die down. If a guy realizes this, he won't be happy with the relationship, and he'll probably break it off. If a girl realizes this, she won't be happy with the relationship, and while she may decide to break it off, she may prefer to cheat rather than be "alone".

 

[Mr_knowit_all]

I may have been a little rude with my comment, and it's true I don't the the whole conversation, but be careful to not take the blame away from where it belongs.

In your situation, I understand what you did, but when we as men go trying to justify, or rationalize a women's shytty behavior, it does us no good.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: Don't enter her reality. You might think you're being a nice guy, but in the end it'll wreck your relationship.

 

[Rex Man]

Yeah I've done it, and I'd do it again in an instant. Sav is right, you can play all your cards right and still lose the game to cheating(that analogy didn't even make sense)

Although I didn't find anything, my friend did the same thing, and let's just say he found some juicy insight on his significant other.

Insecurity? No

Just like a man can't say "she wanted space so I fell into the arms of another b!owjob!" Men can't usually be held accountable for the woman's infidelity

And remember, an apple a day gets the grease. (or something like that)

 

[sav]

Sean, i appreciate your point of view, and you providing some counter insight.

I just view this as a proccess of finding the right girl... im not advocating invading privacy on a consistant basis, but when i feel something is off, i will get to the bottom of it. once a girl proves i can trust her, i dont go through cellphones and ****... you'll be amazed at what you will find..

a phone is better then a diary...

do you think your girl has never went through your phone? try this, leave your phone out on the table with your girl present.. say your going to take a shower, go shower, leave it running and come out.. its like watching a deer caught in the headlights..


yes i have trust issues.. its not because of any insecurities...

i study at a good university, im self employed, im relatively good looking and can get girls if i try (thanks to this site). im at a point where im just looking to find the right person.... i prefer long term relationships and im only saying that invading privacy is acceptable in my books in the beginning. a girl only fears her phone getting checked out if she has something to hide...

a lot of girls hide this fact under the pretense of "privacy".

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

... its not a trust issue or an insecurity issue, its more of a screening proccess to find that 1 girl that you CAN actually trust.

Say this to yourself out loud a few times, what does it really sound like?

 

[sav]

Say this to yourself out loud a few times, what does it really sound like?

so you really have never done it?

 

[MetalFortress]

No normal guy does this.

You are insecure. Enough said. Everyone else here has covered it. Time to stop lying to yourself, dude.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

so you really have never done it?

No, not even when I was a teenager... Wait, cell phones weren't available to the general public back then... Anyway...

Contrary to popular belief, trust has very little if anything to do with the other person. When it does, it is very constricting on the person looking for trust. Once the person realizes and believes that trust is based on their ability to feel confident that they can effectively deal with anything that another person may do to them, they will loose the binding force of distrust. What matters is not what the person may or may not do to you, what matters is how you react to it.

 

[sav]

No, not even when I was a teenager... Wait, cell phones weren't available to the general public back then... Anyway...

Contrary to popular belief, trust has very little if anything to do with the other person. When it does, it is very constricting on the person looking for trust. Once the person realizes and believes that trust is based on their ability to feel confident that they can effectively deal with anything that another person may do to them, they will loose the binding force of distrust. What matters is not what the person may or may not do to you, what matters is how you react to it.

would you rather build a relationship with a person that you feel you are losing and not know about whether you are really losing them?

would you rather not know the full picture? knowledge is power...

 

[sav]

No normal guy does this.

You are insecure. Enough said. Everyone else here has covered it. Time to stop lying to yourself, dude.

no normal guy does this? heh, i beg to differ, take your girls phone and PRETEND to go through it, see her reaction... you'll be surprised...

 

[Nasman]

Bro, everyone has it in them to cheat, male or female. What I said was that most women DO have it in them to be faithful if they think their man is worth it.

You sound like you've been cheated on before, and because of that experience your perception of women and relationships has been seriously warped. Well, guess what? I've been cheated on before, too. I had been going through a rough time in my life, and one night when I was with my girl, she sensed that something was bothering me and asked me what was wrong. I explained that it was just some family stuff and that she didn't need to worry because I could handle it myself. She didn't seem to like that response, so she asked me why I wouldn't tell her anything, and I explained that I didn't want to involve anyone unnecessarily in my problems. Long story short, this lead up to a big argument, and eventually, after I determined that I wouldn't be able to calm her down, I walked out. I found out a couple of days later that she had cheated on me.

Needless to say, I was pretty hurt and pissed off to hear about that, so I confronted her and demanded that she explain herself. She said that she felt hurt and rejected after I refused to let her in on my problem. She interpreted that as "I'm pushing you away because I don't want you in my life". This was a HUGE eye-opener for me. See, we were both thinking of each others' best interests, but while she wanted to help me through my issue because she wanted me to feel better, I wanted to leave her out of the issue because I didn't want to add something negative to her life. We talked about this for a while, and once we understood each other on the issue we reconciled. Since then, our relationship has been better than ever.

See what I'm saying? If a woman is happy with her man, she won't cheat. If she isn't, whether it's because of a misunderstanding or because the guy is the type who invades others' privacy, she'll probably cheat. If you remain level-headed and deal with these issues in a mature manner when they come up, you can better know how to deal with them, i.e. whether it's better to work things out or next her.

This is the biggest AFC post I have ever seen. U forgave your girl for cheating on you. You moron She will never respect u, and she will do it again.

That is a big mistake buddy, your playing with fire. don't be surprised if your heart gets broken.

She is not worth it dude. I am talking to you like a brother.

 

[Nasman]

U can only trust 1 percent of girls. I think the number is about 20 percent. I think your off buddy