Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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Ever Compare your "Conquests?"

DJDamage

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Today I went out with this chick whom I got positive reaction from the first date. She seems like a good girl who cooks, independed (got her own place), got a good job and is about to start a business on the side. She is in my book however 6.5 in terms of hotness on my scale. It doesn't mean I don't want to fvck her because I do and I will :yes:.

But as I was making out with her I couldn't really get into it and I was more thinking about my oneitis. I couldn't get a hardon during the makeup session even though I grabbed her t1ts a few times and felt the front of her pants a bit. My oneitis who brought me to this site was HB 8.5 who I had no trouble getting a hardon. Just looking at her tight ass as she walked by made me a hardon. I guess I am tripping myself in finding a girl that is equivelent to her or better in terms of hotness but that is already supermodel territory over here. I guess I need to spin more plates, work on my game to find hotter chicks, but I am still going to get it on with this one.

Is this ever happen to anyone?!
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Victory Unlimited

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Yo DJD,



Been there. Done that. And I find myself going back allmost every other week...lol

I think you hit the nail right on the head. What you are experiencing is the effect of a GAP in quality plate spinning. It's a problem that I encounter more frequently than not.

Since I've been here, this is a problem that many choose not to address in their zeal to champion the cause of plate spinning (which I WHOLEHEARTEDLY agree with, by the way). But for guys like me who have very particular tastes in women, weeks and sometimes MONTHS may pass before I find a chick that really does it for me physically.

During these periods where a worthy Tier One babe is hard to find, I sometimes fall into the trap of dating a Tier Two babe out of a need to spend more plates. For me, a Tier Two babe is a babe that is only JUST fine ENOUGH for me to merit going for her in the first place. A Tier Two babe is usually just a placekeeper until a Tier One babe comes along.

I don't like being that type guy that NEXTS babes just because the bigger better, more physically attractive deal (babe) comes along. I recognize that as me being shallow, which I don't like to be. So in an effort to NOT settle for what is in my opinion, an inferior chick, I oftentimes suffer from elongated pauses in my plate spinning.

So when you ask "do I compare my my conquests?" The answer is YES, all the time. That's probably why I feel restless unless I am actually gaming a girl that really turns me on-----like some of the OTHER bombshell-bodied babe I've dated previously.

My plan right now is to focus more strongly on the other areas of my life inbetween worthy babes. That way, hopefully, my sex/female companionship drive will stay more under control and I can avoid wasting my energies on Tier Two babes.



March on.
 

Latinoman

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"Conquest" to me is actually being intimately involved with a woman.


Going on dates cannot be considered a conquest. After all...some women "date" several men (5-10), without going intimate with any of them. Which, in my opinion, is acceptable. After all, she is trying to pick the right one. Consequently, I could not view her as having 5-10 "conquests".

Now...do you mean that you compare all your dates? I certainly hope so!
 

Rollo Tomassi

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The term 'Conquest' is a yet another female social contrivance used to shame men into thinking they're "bad people" for being non-commital, but still banging the women they find attractive. 'Conquests' go hand in hand with appeasing the "fragile male ego" and both are nothing more than accepted shaming terminology.

Men don't have 'conquests', we have women we sleep with and women we don't, simple as that. Free yourself from these stupid, feminized contrivances and stop parroting back their catch-phrases and terminology to yourself.

That said, everyone makes comparisons, it's hardwired into our brains to do so. Making comparisons is an autonomous part of our psyches and is actually a survival trait. We naturally understand that eating the bigger, shiny apple will keep us alive longer than eating the smaller plain apple. The same is true for sexual selection and the comparrison is always a subroutine that's running in the backs of our minds.
 

Latinoman

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Men don't have 'conquests', we have women we sleep with and women we don't, simple as that. Free yourself from these stupid, feminized contrivances and stop parroting back their catch-phrases and terminology to yourself.
This is a very good point. And I will be honest with you...I'm always aware to the terminologies that women bring ("connection", "soul mate", etc.). And I failed to see that "conquest" was one of them. I'm glad you bring that one up to our attention too. Very good point.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Vulpine

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Good timing on this post.

I am experiencing the exact same thing (different situation, however).

I dropped a plate, and I'm having technical difficulties with the others. I never have a problem getting a hard on, but keeping it is another story.

See, I'm always, ALWAYS good for two rounds. But lately, when sexin' the FB's, after first round head, I either don't get it up for round two, or get it up long enough for the rubber to go on and lose it after a minute or two.

The first couple times I was sort of embarrassed, like I was the one with a problem. My diet? Stress? WTF?!?

The third time, I knew better: I seriously need better quality plates and better quality FB's. The bar has been raised, and since I'm not desperate, I guess I'm somewhat "spoiled". I think "spoiled" is the best term to use here because I'm used to "the good stuff". And now that I have to revert to the "second string", well, my second string leaves me limp.

The plate that rose to the top "bumped up the bar" and left that gap that V.U. mentioned.

Problem is, 5-7's are all that's around here. My whole HB scale is spoiled. I've lived in California, Florida, and several places inbetween. Now, in the mid-west, I am seriously struggling to keep the scale "regionally appropriate" or realistic. The sun-bunnies have wrecked my standards. I say "5-7's" are all that's around here, but on a neutral global scale they are more realistically 3-6's.... barely doable. ARRRGGGHHH!!! It hurts my head to even think about.

I gotta go neck a shot of optimism, my buzz is wearing off.
 

Latinoman

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but on a neutral global scale they are more realistically 3-6's.... barely doable.
No even a bucket of viagra would get me going at that scale level.

3s are DAMN PRETTY LOW number. That's like taking an exam and scoring a 30 (in the 100 scale). Very hard to recover from that!
 

DJDamage

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Victory Unlimited said:
I recognize that as me being shallow, which I don't like to be. So in an effort to NOT settle for what is in my opinion, an inferior chick, I oftentimes suffer from elongated pauses in my plate spinning.
Don't think of it as being shallow, think of it as being more happy. The one thing I am noticing is that when I date a tier two babe is that I can become mr smooth and that the conversation tend to flow better. But if I go out on a date with real knocker my mindest is constantly on banging her and not screwing up which causes my game to suffer. Also the conversation skills and topic to talk about with a real knocker are far and a few due to her child like mind which never really develop over the years due to her being hot.

I actually do like the euphoric feeling you get when you chase a hot number as oppose to the mundane feeling you get from going out with a lesser plate.

Victory Unlimited said:
My plan right now is to focus more strongly on the other areas of my life inbetween worthy babes. That way, hopefully, my sex/female companionship drive will stay more under control and I can avoid wasting my energies on Tier Two babes.
That is an excellent point. If you want worthier babe then you have to improve different areas of your life that you know you can improve on. You improve your life and it should improve the quality of women.

Latinoman said:
"Now...do you mean that you compare all your dates? I certainly hope so!
I compare all my dates to the one or two hottest babes I been with. I guess you can say once you had a sirloin steak, you kinda don't want to go back to eating a cheeseburger.

Rollo Tomassi said:
Men don't have 'conquests', we have women we sleep with and women we don't, simple as that. Free yourself from these stupid, feminized contrivances and stop parroting back their catch-phrases and terminology to yourself.
Its done. The word conquest is out of my vocabulary unless I become a military commander and about to invade a country.
 

Latinoman

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By the way Vulpine...I respect your honesty.

Those kind of topics tend to be hard to talk about. The "I cannot get it hard" type. I am almost certain that you are correct in your self assessment of what's going on.

And you are in one of those situations that geographical location is an issue. You know what I think about "on-line" dating. But in cases like yours, I believe that is appropriate for the purpose of laying HBs above the 3-6s you are currently laying. So, I would perfectly understand if you are into Internet and MySpace and all that stuff. A man must do what he has to do.
 

Vulpine

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Even online, the range is similar. It's hard to stay optimistic and positive here. I mean, with so many low quality women around it's hard to spin any plates at all, much less any "good ones".

I just need to keep my eyes open for the opportunities.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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