"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Events with this girl

AlexTheGreat

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There's this girl, let's name her Amy. Her and me knew each other for quite a while (around 3 years), but never really got close. We were friends to the same person, so that's how I met her. Lately, we have gotten closer to one another ... and during the last weeks, I noticed she was giving me obvious signs of interest. For example, I helped her out for a project, and the whole time, she kept holding my hand and letting me touch her leg and whatnot.

But here comes the catch : she's never had a relationship. Her friend (through which I met her) says that she's scared of not knowing what to do, which I trust is true, by the way she acts. Anyways, a week ago, we were very close, holding hands and whatnot. During that weekend, she and her friends had a "girls night", and supposedly, she kept talking about how much she liked me, how much she wanted to date me, ...

Then, two days later, I went to a little party, and she was there. Cold as hell. I was going ":confused: wtf" the whole night (I kept my cool, had fun with the other people, but she really weirded me out). After that, the whole next week, she was hella frigid. I was about to NEXT her, but then, I thought of testing her one last time. I ask her out for the weekend. At first, she's smiling, all happy, then she goes "I'll tell you tomorrow". Tomorrow comes, and I ask her again. She goes "I need to talk to you .... but not now". Hmmmm interesting... The next day, I stop her at her locker, and ask her what's up, why she was acting strange all week. She goes "I can't tell you now ... I'm too much of a sissy, so I'll tell you on the phone." I go "yeah, I noticed that you were kindof a sissy", give her a pathetic-type pat on the back, then leave.

Today, I call her, and ask her what was going on. After digging around for a few minutes, I finally get out of her that "she isn't ready for commitment". At that point, I got what I wanted out of her, so I go "ok". She asks me if that was all the reaction I would have. I answer "Yep, that's it. What can I do anyway, you made your decision." and hang up afterwards. (after byes and whatnot).

So, here's the question. I know the girl likes me. She can't flip from "holding hands" to "hell no" in just a weekend, without me even intervening. I know my friends talked only good about me to her, they even pushed her to go out with me, so this all comes from within. How can I get her to turn around and get her to "trust me" ? I know I haven't screwed up yet with her, so everything is still doable. Just help me out, give me pointers or something. :cheer:
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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AlexTheGreat

Senior Don Juan
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Originally posted by syncmaster
Try getting her IL up and date other women. Let her know she's not the only one... Or... tell her you don't want a commitment either, get her on date & kiss her.
Yeah, that was my next move ... start dating a friend of hers, who's into me, and that's pretty cute. See how she'll react to that.

EDIT : to clarify, I'm not gonna play her friend. I'm actually interested in her too .... just more in "Amy" than her.
 
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