Etiquette of rough sex

[Jariel]

Can anyone offer advice on how to approach rough and assertive sex?

I have been seeing a woman for a few weeks now and she's been talking about how she likes rough sex and likes the man to dominate. Well, that's just my thing, but I never really know how to initiate it during the early stages.

Well, we went for a drive into the countryside the weekend and on the way back on a dark country lane, I swerved into a layby and just took control of her. I put my hand round her throat (not squeezing or anything) and started to kiss her quite forcefully.

She pushed me off and started to panic. I quickly explained I thought that's what she liked, but she started complaining that it took her by surprise and was scared I was going to hurt her.

Not only did it kill the moment, but it made me very cautious about trying that again.

So, for future reference, how do you approach "rough sex" and adding a bit of adrenalin into the mix?

Also, what does rough sex entail in your experience? For me, I'll pick the woman up, push her against the wall, spank her, pull her hair, and just hit it real hard. Never been sure about putting my hand around the throat. Any tips would be welcome.

 

[Thundernuts]

OH **** lol, wow man you forget to include that she was screaming rape.

You were gonna try and do this crap on the side of the road, classic. If you haven't had sex with her already wait until she is a bit comfortable, and when the green light comes on do the usual foreplay and all that. I usually only get rough once i already start the sex, doggy style and missionary are good rough positions because it gives you alot of room to be dominant. When i got a girl bent over ill kind of choke her and pull her up more, not strangle her but have my hand there. Another thing that chicks like is pulling hair, don't do it unless its really intense otherwise shell mind.

Last but not least, bite her, bite her alot around the neck its good for about any position, even if you got her bent over bite her on the shoulders its still a sensitive spot.

Just get rough its not hard

 

[Jariel]

Thanks man. That all makes good sense. I was obviously way too sudden and scary, I just thought that's what she wanted.

It's not the sort of thing I'd usually do, but decided to take a chance. Luckily she's still interested so I'll try your suggestion next time.

 

[amoka]

Can anyone offer advice on how to approach rough and assertive sex?

I have been seeing a woman for a few weeks now and she's been talking about how she likes rough sex and likes the man to dominate. Well, that's just my thing, but I never really know how to initiate it during the early stages.

Well, we went for a drive into the countryside the weekend and on the way back on a dark country lane, I swerved into a layby and just took control of her. I put my hand round her throat (not squeezing or anything) and started to kiss her quite forcefully.

She pushed me off and started to panic. I quickly explained I thought that's what she liked, but she started complaining that it took her by surprise and was scared I was going to hurt her.

Not only did it kill the moment, but it made me very cautious about trying that again.

So, for future reference, how do you approach "rough sex" and adding a bit of adrenalin into the mix?

Also, what does rough sex entail in your experience? For me, I'll pick the woman up, push her against the wall, spank her, pull her hair, and just hit it real hard. Never been sure about putting my hand around the throat. Any tips would be welcome.

Try doing this to her after the first few fvcks. Damn, you scared the sh!t out of this woman particularly since it is dark and she alone with someone she barely knows. I am not a rough fvcker either but this woman I was with few weeks ago introduced me to it because she likes it. Here are a thing or two I took from the experience:
1. Spank, spank, and spank. Yeah, she loves to be spanked. I noticed her ass got red but she still insisted, "spank and rub". After all is done, there was barely a layer between her skin and blood.
2. Pull, pull, and pull. Yeah, I pulled this woman's hair towards me while giving her a doggy style.

 

[Jariel]

Sounds cool to me bro!

I think returning to the gym in recent months has brought out a more aggressive side to me and I'm trying to be more dominant sexually, but I've never really known how to go about it.

I'd been reading how some women have rape fantasies and I guess that's what I was trying to simulate, though obviously too far. As you say, maybe I need to fvck her a few times first.

 

[SandHawk]

When you're going down the road of rough sex, you'll have to escalate it gently, esp. with a new partner. You need to discover her boundaries by pushing the current ones bit by bit. You can't just grab her throat and make out.

No, instead, when you make out with her, you grab her hands and pin her down. You place your knees on her legs so she can't move(don't press all your weight into it). And while still kissing, you move her hands above her head, use 1 hand to hold her wrists together and have the other one run through her hair, grab it by the roots, pull her hair back and kiss/lick her neck.

This sets the mood of YOU being in control. From here on you can experiment. But the first time, I usually run the same routine to show them I OWN them while we're f*cking. Most girls love it, and compliment me on it. But rough sex is quite different than rape, but in can be misunderstood as rape in the wrong context or mood. If you want to take this further as just a bit of dominance, agree on a safe word. Last thing you want is a crying chick that's all tied up.

 

[Jariel]

Good stuff Sandhawk, I'll definitely give pinning her down a try next time!

 

[horaholic]

Holding her wrists down above her head is a good start.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Holding her wrists down above her head is a good start.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K6r8MkqeSMM&feature=channel

 

[KingofHearts]

All good suggestions so far. Here's what I have to add -

Watch some movies, read some stuff online. Submission blogs and the like will give you a woman's perspective on dominance and rough sex. There seems like a lot to it, but its more about your attitude and conveying that to her. She doesn't want the crap beat out of her, that's abuse. She wants to be desired so passionately that you can't help but get very physical. Get inside a girl's head on what she really gets out of rough sex, its not the same as what a man gets. I've read about and had women tell me about how they felt so safe, secure and desired with a dominant man (yet they're really just getting used, abused and ****ed like no tomorrow).

That said, to really leave your mark on a girl that likes it rougher than normal - you have to act out what you want. Your attitude is - I don't care if she likes it or not, this what I want to do to her. Also, your animal instincts tell you that no matter what you're doing, she's going to like it because she enjoys being the cause for your pleasure. That's another thing - just outright use her to make yourself feel good. Don't always make it about her and what feels good for her.

All that said, you have to do it gradually. The above is the kind of mentality you go in with, but don't be impatient. She needs to be the one begging for you to take advantage of her. You're in control of when things happen and at your pace. All that dominance has to be done before and after sex too. Tell her to do things for you. Make her work around your schedule. Drop a hint that you like it when girls bring little gifts for you.

I don't know why or how you guys are talking about rough sex when you haven't even had it yet. But I do think this is still salvageable. From now on, let her bring it up in conversation. You provide the action and follow through on it.

About the throat and choking. Some girls don't like, but I think a lot of them do. But at the right time, right place. Just like anal, trying deep throat etc., you gotta get her pretty worked up before getting super physical. When she's really aroused, the pain she would normally feel is overshadowed by the good feelings and emotions of being wanted by a masculine man. Just figure out what she likes and doesn't like one by one. She may like a lot of stuff but she may hate something really random because her abusive father use to do that to her when she was a child.

I could go on, but I think you get the point. Let me know if you want to know more specifics, I've been lucky enough to get with a couple of different women that basically let me have my way with them. Its amazing how much pain a woman can take when she embraces it. It started out as something I would do for their enjoyment, but I see how that dominance in the bedroom can be used to leverage dominance everywhere else and vice versa. I also, see that some of the best relationships have a very dominant man that calls all the shots while the girl just goes along for the ride. Some girls have embraced the fact that they're still little girls on the inside that have to be disciplined from time to time and be reminded of who's the boss. I've tried out and experimented with some girls in the past, but I've found that its the most fun when you actually care about the girl you're boning. Otherwise its just mutual masturbation and a hell of a lot of work to keep up.

 

[KingofHearts]

All good suggestions so far. Here's what I have to add -

Watch some movies, read some stuff online. Submission blogs and the like will give you a woman's perspective on dominance and rough sex. There seems like a lot to it, but its more about your attitude and conveying that to her. She doesn't want the crap beat out of her, that's abuse. She wants to be desired so passionately that you can't help but get very physical. Get inside a girl's head on what she really gets out of rough sex, its not the same as what a man gets. I've read about and had women tell me about how they felt so safe, secure and desired with a dominant man (yet they're really just getting used, abused and ****ed like no tomorrow).

That said, to really leave your mark on a girl that likes it rougher than normal - you have to act out what you want. Your attitude is - I don't care if she likes it or not, this what I want to do to her. Also, your animal instincts tell you that no matter what you're doing, she's going to like it because she enjoys being the cause for your pleasure. That's another thing - just outright use her to make yourself feel good. Don't always make it about her and what feels good for her.

All that said, you have to do it gradually. The above is the kind of mentality you go in with, but don't be impatient. She needs to be the one begging for you to take advantage of her. You're in control of when things happen and at your pace. All that dominance has to be done before and after sex too. Tell her to do things for you. Make her work around your schedule. Drop a hint that you like it when girls bring little gifts for you.

I don't know why or how you guys are talking about rough sex when you haven't even had it yet. But I do think this is still salvageable. From now on, let her bring it up in conversation. You provide the action and follow through on it.

About the throat and choking. Some girls don't like, but I think a lot of them do. But at the right time, right place. Just like anal, trying deep throat etc., you gotta get her pretty worked up before getting super physical. When she's really aroused, the pain she would normally feel is overshadowed by the good feelings and emotions of being wanted by a masculine man. Just figure out what she likes doesn't like one by one. She may like a lot of stuff but she may hate something really random because her abusive father use to do that to her when she was a child.

I could go on, but I think you get the point. Let me know if you want to know more specifics, I've been lucky enough to get with a couple of different women that basically let me have my way with them. Its amazing how much pain a woman can take when she embraces it. I've tried out some kinky stuff from time to time, but I've found that its the most fun when you actually care about the girl you're boning. Otherwise its just mutual masturbation.

 

[Tighten_Up]

you should have kicked her out of the car and left her there.