I posted a thread awhile back about how the attraction dynamic works among a person's different social groups http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=134740
The thread kind of got lost and I think there was a really important point in there that needs to be addressed, and that is my theory that it is of utmost importance for a man to establish his status as a "free entity" within all of his social circles.
The premise of this theory is that it is very easy to fall into a situation where one particular woman within a group either 1) finds you attractive and wants to get with you, but you don't feel the same about her, or 2) enjoys the attention you give her and doesn't want to share the spotlight with anyone else.
If you find yourself in either situation it is imperative that you establish that the woman has ZERO "claim" over you. If you don't play it the right way it is easy to fall into the trap where there is an unspoken rule among the other females in the group that you are "off limits".
Basically what it boils down to is establishing that unless she is your girlfriend, a woman has no right to impose a claim. You are free to do as you wish, even if that means hoking up with her friends.
I know this sounds elementary, and in OUR minds it's a given, but in the minds of women it's an entirely different story. If the boundaries aren't established by YOU, the emotional undercurrent among the women will limit your options with other women in the group.
Here is more fuel for my theory-
It happened again the other day. I was sitting at the bar grabbing a burger a few days ago, and a woman walks up behind me and makes a joke. I turn around to see that it is a friend of my AW friend, whom I have met a couple of times before.
We talked and joked around for a few minutes, then she heads outside to the patio. A few minutes later she comes back over to talk and starts giving me the "look", and asks for my number. She then gives me hers, and says "Call me sometime" as she's walking away.
Now I'm not attracted to this particular woman, but that's not the point The point is, this NEVER would have happened a year ago, when I hadn't established myself as a "free entity" in that particular circle. My AW friend had firmly "marked her territory" with me, despite the fact that she doesn't want me and I don't want her for any kind of romantic relationship.
And now that I have established this free entity status, it's GREAT, because I can enjoy the perks of having a woman (now womEn) around who project vibes to other women, without being restricted within HER social group because she has an unspoken "claim" over me.
I know a lot of you aren't keen on playing the angle that I play (hanging out with many women in part to gain opportunities with other women). But I think it's important to understand that unless YOU specifically assert your independence around women, that other women will assume that a given woman has you on lock down, and that's not good.
In my other post I think I mentioned three different social groups. Since I realized what was going on, I think I have managed to establish myself as "free" within all three groups.
So, in any kind of group interaction with women you always have to ask yourself whether or not your options are being limited by an unspoken claim that has been staked by a particular woman. If the answer is "yes" you should do whatever it takes (through actions and words) to establish yourself as a free entity.
The thread kind of got lost and I think there was a really important point in there that needs to be addressed, and that is my theory that it is of utmost importance for a man to establish his status as a "free entity" within all of his social circles.
The premise of this theory is that it is very easy to fall into a situation where one particular woman within a group either 1) finds you attractive and wants to get with you, but you don't feel the same about her, or 2) enjoys the attention you give her and doesn't want to share the spotlight with anyone else.
If you find yourself in either situation it is imperative that you establish that the woman has ZERO "claim" over you. If you don't play it the right way it is easy to fall into the trap where there is an unspoken rule among the other females in the group that you are "off limits".
Basically what it boils down to is establishing that unless she is your girlfriend, a woman has no right to impose a claim. You are free to do as you wish, even if that means hoking up with her friends.
I know this sounds elementary, and in OUR minds it's a given, but in the minds of women it's an entirely different story. If the boundaries aren't established by YOU, the emotional undercurrent among the women will limit your options with other women in the group.
Here is more fuel for my theory-
It happened again the other day. I was sitting at the bar grabbing a burger a few days ago, and a woman walks up behind me and makes a joke. I turn around to see that it is a friend of my AW friend, whom I have met a couple of times before.
We talked and joked around for a few minutes, then she heads outside to the patio. A few minutes later she comes back over to talk and starts giving me the "look", and asks for my number. She then gives me hers, and says "Call me sometime" as she's walking away.
Now I'm not attracted to this particular woman, but that's not the point The point is, this NEVER would have happened a year ago, when I hadn't established myself as a "free entity" in that particular circle. My AW friend had firmly "marked her territory" with me, despite the fact that she doesn't want me and I don't want her for any kind of romantic relationship.
And now that I have established this free entity status, it's GREAT, because I can enjoy the perks of having a woman (now womEn) around who project vibes to other women, without being restricted within HER social group because she has an unspoken "claim" over me.
I know a lot of you aren't keen on playing the angle that I play (hanging out with many women in part to gain opportunities with other women). But I think it's important to understand that unless YOU specifically assert your independence around women, that other women will assume that a given woman has you on lock down, and that's not good.
In my other post I think I mentioned three different social groups. Since I realized what was going on, I think I have managed to establish myself as "free" within all three groups.
So, in any kind of group interaction with women you always have to ask yourself whether or not your options are being limited by an unspoken claim that has been staked by a particular woman. If the answer is "yes" you should do whatever it takes (through actions and words) to establish yourself as a free entity.