"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

essay: I’m Interested In You. That Doesn’t Mean I’m Trying To Have Sex With You.

MatureDJ

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https://medium.com/athena-talks/im-...-i-m-trying-to-have-sex-with-you-e37ece8dd8f9

Actually, a pretty good essay, at times.

... an oppressive perception that’s still insidious in our culture:

We interpret friendliness in women of reproductive age as seduction.
OK, the first part is overblown, but the conclusion does explain the b!tch shield.

The perception that the extroverted, “friendly” woman seeks to seduce perpetuates rape culture, slut-shaming, and disconnection, and pressures women to be highly selective in their kindness (i.e. better be “bitchy” to be safe!).
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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wifehunter

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Friendzone
 
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Some girls make out with their girl friends. In this hookup culture making out is not really a sign that a woman has a high IL or likes you. I've slept with women who left soon after so some women will sleep with you with a low IL. In my view you can't trust words only actions. I've had women do everything for me except have sex with me and tell me I'm a special person in their life's and mean the world to them while they are sleeping with another man. Of course I cut them off. For me actions speak louder than words forever.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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ThisNThat

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Some girls make out with their girl friends. In this hookup culture making out is not really a sign that a woman has a high IL or likes you. I've slept with women who left soon after so some women will sleep with you with a low IL. In my view you can't trust words only actions. I've had women do everything for me except have sex with me and tell me I'm a special person in their life's and mean the world to them while they are sleeping with another man. Of course I cut them off. For me actions speak louder than words forever.
Right, I was about to say that, too. You could bang a chick, and still. be considered in the friendzone. The title of the post assumes too much or a failure in cause/effect logic.
 
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Yep for some reason most women believe the hype that is sold to them on tv, media and magazines etc..some men to. Then if and when they realize the reality of life is not a soap opera or reality tv show it's to late for them because their looks have left them and they have nothing else to offer the world or a man. So if by that time they have not trapped a man or earned it themselves they become angry with men and life. For most women in that situation it's around their 30's. A few that take care of themselves an won the genetic lottery can push it to mid 40s but they have to find an older man by 10 to 15 years older.
 

devilkingx2

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Hey, if you're able to at least make out with her...you're not in the friend zone
agreed, with the caveat that you have to be able to currently make out with her.

if you could make out with her right now, you're not in the friend zone, however, having made out with her in the past means nothing

Some girls make out with their girl friends.
sober straight girls don't do that for fun dude.
 

ChristopherColumbus

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She seems to be incredibly naïve for a psychotherapist. The fact is that the culture of civility once enjoyed is rapidly deteriorating today. That means, more than ever, if you have certain standards or expectations, you need to remain guarded until you get to know someone.
 
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