"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Escalating

European-DJ

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Following a few LTRs I can tell that I have become rusty and that I am facing some trouble escalating during the first date… how do you guys know when is the right time to go for the first kiss / inviting her over to your place during the first date? Do you typically do it towards the middle or the end of the date?..

have been on 3 dates during the past week, one which effectively learned in to kiss me (brought her home the same night as well), butwith the two others I completely shied out and had no idea how to close….


imho, unless you kiss on the first date / she shows very high interest following the first date there’s very little reason to continue the pursuit…
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Doctor Europeo

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In my experience, when for whatever reason I havent escalated during the first couple of dates, I go for the kiss almost at the beginning of date 3. Girls always reciprocate in this case, havent had a bad reaction yet.
 

European-DJ

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In my experience, when for whatever reason I havent escalated during the first couple of dates, I go for the kiss almost at the beginning of date 3. Girls always reciprocate in this case, havent had a bad reaction yet.
Thanks again for your advise. I am seeing one of the girls in this park I was going to either way on Sunday and will give it a try (albeit only being the second date).

as always, appreciate the input!
 

FlexpertHamilton

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Going for a first date kiss is cliche and typical. Every guy thinks its important, when its really not. I think not going for it shows you are indifferent, which can make you more interesting to them.

It's definitely best to do it in the middle of the date randomly. If you haven't by the end, trying to force it inorganically is cheesy.

I almost never kiss during the first date and I still have zero issues banging them later that night or on the 2nd date.
 
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"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Barrister

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Not only should you kiss on Date 1 but you should be kissing by mid-date. Not waiting until the end. If you are escalating correctly and there is physical attraction this is doable.

After an LTR it can be difficult getting back in the swing of things. If you just broke up you may be better served focusing on yourself for awhile rather than trying to go out and pound. Every man is different though.
 

2Rocky

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I've kissed as early as the first moment in person....Of course there was 2 months of talking and texting leading up to it...I wanted to establish the Sexual tone from the get go.

I'll usually be sure to have plenty of Kino when I meet a first date. I make sure we have a ways to walk and I offer her my right arm as we go along. I can then squeeze her hand with my left hand or pat it. This whole maneuver kinda lets them feel that I am a big strong guy. A Protector. A gentle giant... Most women cozy up to my arm and hug it. That makes it easy to segue into a one armed hug.

If we spend time talking to each other over dinner or drinks, I continue to amp up the kino without groping. Usually she will reciprocate. Eye contact gets longer and more intense, and the Sexual tension continues to rise. Around that point we will change venues, and there is usually a "Finally Alone" moment when I will then kiss her. That tells me how the rest of the night will go. I've had women **** me in the car after that in the parking lot, Go to another bar and grope each other, or tell me to come to their hotel room(3x).

If she declines the kiss, I'll usually will end the date then.

Public kisses (dance floor , at the bar or in the middle of a crowd) seldom resulted in any action that night. About 67 % did call or text me the next morning though.
 

Gamisch

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Yesterday went on a date after being in an LTR , although I am.banging some local chick I've met before already so that kinda helped me being abundant about the outcome. I just went for it, and yes, the kiss completely changed the dynamics and got me loads of respect from her.fyi , I went about mid date, just a small kiss with a little tongue, an acted like I never happened. Then at the end a longer, more passionate kiss with a little slap and squeeze on her azs.


Kiss her and just continue to mack her/ keep the vibe good. I agree not kissing her can show abundance, but it has to be real abundance ,not played.

As long as you get dates with her you got chances. But still ,you gotta go for the kill.

and I ve noticed some things

- when I was younger I didn't escalate. In my mind this kinda shaped me the wrong way. Now I assume if a woman makes time for me she wants my ****,simple. Its just on me to build up the tension like a diesel locomotive, not like a formula 1 race car if that makes sense.
-fear of rejection. While getting rejected is actually good ,because it will keep you out some friendzone type situation. It shows you know what you want and get it= you know how to lead.
-its will change the dynamic after you kissed towards the sexual part , keep in mind women kiss easily.

Also:
If you get rejected just take this page from the female book; " I just felt some kinda magnetic energy towards you cant explain it" and act like the rejection it didn't faze you at all . Keep the vibe high, dokt show any signs of insecurity and try again 30 minutes later. If she keeps rejecting you but is willing to set new dates(she initiates), rinse and repeat.

Obviously after 2, maybe 3 dates getting rejected you should call it QUIT.
 
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