Escalating on 2nd Date

[The Comeback Kid]

Last week, I made this thread. It involved a girl I am interested in and a friend of mine who appeared to getting himself a little too involved. One week later, this scene has changed.

First, my friend is now my #1 cheerleader. I don't know if it was Valentine's Day with his gf, if the girl I'm into turned him down, or if (most likely) he regained his sense of awareness and decided trying to interfere would not be good for the friendship, but he has my back and is rooting for this to succeed. In fact, he offered me a pair of tickets to a concert in the area that I'd take her to this week. She said she'd like to go, but has work and unfortunately cannot make it.

More importantly, things with the girl are developing nicely. We met for drinks Monday evening/night. Went very well. I got there about five minutes early simply so I wouldn't be late...only to realize she beat me there and was waiting for me. We hung out for about an hour, did some kino, shared some laughs and I walked her back to her place. She ended the date with a BIG/tight hug right as I was walking her to her doorstep. The positive was that it eliminated the could-be-awkward kiss scene this time (she went for the hug before I even had a chance to think about what to do next). She also told me she'd "definitely" be up for going out again.

Our next date is set for a few days from now. There's a bordering town I know very little about while she knows the area well. There is a popular dessert/pastry restaurant there, so that's the likely destination.

I need some pointers from you guys. My primary sticking point is escalating. I'm ok at kino, but not a natural. She is a little bit shy and doesn't kino as often. More importantly, this is likely a more "official date"...I must go in for the kiss. If she tries to hug, I am considering playfully saying, "ehhhhh - wrong" with a little smile. Hopefully she knows what's next.

 

[WC2]

She ended the date with a BIG/tight hug right as I was walking her to her doorstep. The positive was that it eliminated the could-be-awkward kiss scene this time (she went for the hug before I even had a chance to think about what to do next). She also told me she'd "definitely" be up for going out again.

More importantly, this is likely a more "official date"...I must go in for the kiss. If she tries to hug, I am considering playfully saying, "ehhhhh - wrong" with a little smile. Hopefully she knows what's next.

Kiss on the Cheek = Friends
Hug = JUST Friends
BIG/tight Hug = Omg will you be my girlfriend!?

The time to escalate has come and gone. If you're going to do it, do it now.

It'd be different if you hadn't already gone on dates with her and had just been around her in general, but when you don't make a move the first few times and she's giving you hugs.. it's probably not a good thing.

And take it easy with this 'official date' business.. it's that kind of stuff that creeps girls out. Girls don't want eloquent plans, they want things to 'just happen' naturally. The more romantic you make things seem in your head, the less romantic she's going to be.

Lastly, please.. please don't use that line. It reminds me of Larry David on Curb Your Enthusiasm.

"Ehhhhhhhhhhh..."

All jokes aside.. you cannot tell a woman to kiss you. You must do it if she will not. The fact alone that you have not tried to kiss her yet on these dates might have her wondering why you won't. If it makes you feel more comfortable, say "I'm going to kiss you." And just do it.

 

[Kailex]

Last week, I made this thread.
The positive was that it eliminated the could-be-awkward kiss scene this time (she went for the hug before I even had a chance to think about what to do next). She also told me she'd "definitely" be up for going out again.

How is this a positive?

This is NOT a positive. That hug WAS your chance and right now she's probably wondering why she didn't get a kiss from you. She doesn't need to be good a kino, but YOU do. You have to initiate the contact. I'm pretty sure there are plenty of threads and tips on how to initiate kino and at what points of the "date".

And stop pressuring yourself about the date... but you are right, you HAVE to go in for the kiss, and don't make BIG plans for this "date".

You're going to confuse the hell out of her and banish yourself into orbit with her if you make a big date and haven't even kissed her yet. Make your move. The kiss "isn't" awkward. You just think it'd be awkward.

Trust me, she was EXPECTING it.

You should have done it when she hugged you. You were already holding her, all you had to do was maybe a quick kiss on the cheek and then nudge your way over to her lips.

Man up.

 

[Ease]

Dont wait for a cue. A girl will be sitting there wanting you to kiss her for hours, but will not drop a single hint. Its something you need to do completely on your own.

If you wait till the end, then do it right after you say goodbye facing eachother. Say your bye byes, then pinch the front of her top/coat and pull towards you with 2 fingers and she will immediately cue in. Tug her and kiss.

During the date dont wait for the right moment, there will never be a right moment. You have to make the moment, every time. You can try asking her 'do you want to kiss me?'. If she says yes or maybe, go for it, if she says no then 'i didnt say you could, you just had that look in your eye'. She wont say no if she is on a date with you though. Iv never field tested that routine though, good luck if you try it.

Dont do the 'ehh wrong' thing because you've been thinking about it. Never think about it, it will throw you off. Do it suddenly and without planning it, your nerves will **** you up otherwise. Its like jumpig into a cold lake, theres no nice way of doing it.

If you dont at least attempt to kiss her on the lips next date, then buy a 16 pack of aspirin and down them all because you should really just kill yourself. Making a fool of yourself or having her say no is 100X better than not going in for it.

good luck soldier