"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Err this is embarrassing but.

HalfAddict

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Have you ever been hit on by a dude you did not think swung that way... what the **** are you supposed to say to that ****.

This dude I always chat with at the local watering hole came up to me the other day and was talking to me, nothing out of the ordinary, then I look at him and he is checking my junk out..his voice changed and he kept touching me, I ignored him but he hung out for about 5 more minutes trying to flirt with me.. I just stopped looking at him and stopped talking to him, didn't wanna bust him out. But ****ing creepy. :crackup:
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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scrouds

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Dude I was in my cigar shop, my hang out basically. There was a dude in chef's attire in the back room with the olympics going on. Light chit chat, nothing heavy i made a comment about the hot volley ball players. He said yeah and the divers too, espeically the guys. Guess he was trying to feel up whether I swung that way.

Not sure what I'd have done if he pressed the issue. I probably wouldn't have made it 5 minutes before blowing everything up and making a scene.
 

origin138

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HalfAddict said:
Have you ever been hit on by a dude you did not think swung that way... what the **** are you supposed to say to that ****.

This dude I always chat with at the local watering hole came up to me the other day and was talking to me, nothing out of the ordinary, then I look at him and he is checking my junk out..his voice changed and he kept touching me, I ignored him but he hung out for about 5 more minutes trying to flirt with me.. I just stopped looking at him and stopped talking to him, didn't wanna bust him out. But ****ing creepy. :crackup:
:crackup: Actually, yes that's happened to me before...a few times both at work and out in the field.

1. Take it as a compliment. Most gay men are notoriously picky with regard to fashion and appearance.

2. In the past, I've been direct and straightforward about this. I usually just tell them straight out, I don't swing that way. Treat it like you're rejecting a woman. Be respectful, be quick and be gone

3. Don't hang out solo, keep a female interest nearby or keep it in a group setting so you can convey with actions that you're not into dudes. You can even spin it into a reason to talk to a woman (i.e. this gay dude wants me, pretend your my GF or something). She'll find it funny, and ironically her preselection hardwiring will kick in. At least that's been my experience.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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st_99

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anytime i see a gay dude checking me out, i take it as a compliment as they are normally picky and anal (pun intended) about looks
 

Warrior74

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Yah had a guy I was working on a short film with hit on me. We went out to the club one night and he tried to kiss me when I was drunk. I decked him on instinct and never spoke to him again. Had to walk home because I rode in his car. Looking back on it, I should have known, he wouldn't hit on any girls at the club and wouldn't leave my side for a second. Creepiest feeling ever.

Had a lesbian offer a three some once because she wanted to get with my girl. That was funny as neither me nor my girl were interested (older ugly butch dyke asian) and she was trying so hard, buying us drinks, offering us coke. Sorry ugly asian dyke, not gonna happen.
 

FairShake

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I see guys checking me out and my gay friends occasionally tell me when I'm looking particularly good.

But no gay guy has ever seriously hit on me. For lack of a better euphemism I look and act very non-gay.
 

The Gambler

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A couple of gay guys were looking at me the other day at work... I dressed quite dapper that day, if I may say so myself.... They were probably in their early to mid 20s, and were pretty much dressed the same style as me (a good lesson to note, whether dealing with men or women.... people look for those who are similar).

I almost walked over to them and said, "Hey boys, what ya'll up to?" But no, I couldn't do it.
 
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I have a gay friend who compliments me all the time, he knows I'm straight and that it doesn't bother me. I've been hit on and given "the look" from guys before. I'm not insecure in my manhood where I'll cause a scene (even if it makes me slightly uncomfortable). I politely thank them and let them know I'm straight in a light hearted manner then keep it moving.

Compliments are great for the self-esteem no matter the sex of the person complimenting. I'd rather be noticed as opposed to overlook.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Scaramouche

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Dear Half Addict,
Not uncommon,particularly if you have a somewhat Feminine face as I do...I used to get hit on regularly,as I get older and uglier happens less LOL....I just say "sorry,but that's just not my scene mate",usually they take the hint,generally that is....On one occasion I went Bush Walking with an old friend,to see the swathe of destruction a mini cyclone had done,we had walked about three miles and he just jumped on my back from behind,saying "are you or aren't you?" ....I got him off then just said "look J.. you do that again,and friend or no friend,I'll punch your lights out"....must say he took it in his stride and we still see each other.....on another occasion I was trying to watch a very interesting War Documentary on TV in a Bar,stupid!....A guy came over to my table,and started watching it with me,commented on my interest,asked how old I was,I told him,he commented,"can't believe it?you look so Young?and put his hand on my forearm,I said"Mate,You've got your hand on my arm!",he responded with a smile.....I was wearing high heeled riding boots,I lashed out under the table and caught him a beauty on his shin,he screamed,jumped up and ran....Hmm,generally these guys are harmless,but like any other form sexuality takes,it has its aggressive fringe element too!
 
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