The 14 ingredients required to be a great lover
Passion: Showing high interest and high energy makes you come off engaged in the sexual experience. Don’t act like an overly eager little boy, but rather more in a mature, masculine, calm, dominant, and lustful way. 9 1/2 Weeks or Secretary (Both great movies) can give you some inspiration. Women love knowing that you’re enjoying yourself and so you should show her that. Use her body like a canvas and use your mouth, fingers, and member as your tools for creating a masterpiece of sexual lovemaking. Show her your intensity, that you’re enjoying her body and presence. Women love attention from the man they want. I cannot stress how much a woman needs your attention. Her getting attention from you is like you getting an orgasm from her. It’s to that degree of importance and the best way to give her that is in the bedroom by being a passionate lover. Just like a painter loves to paint, a writer loves to write, you need to love and be passionate about lovemaking. It will show in the bedroom and you’ll be very happy with the results.
Lust: Women want you to see them as ****able and as the object of your lustful desires. In your actions and your words, you need to deliver this. It will make her feel incredible and depending on your sexual market value relative to hers she should feel flattered, happy, and honored that you chose her to make love to. A lot of men get worried that they will come off creepy if they’re too lustful. I disagree. She will only think it’s creepy if she’s not sexually attracted to you. Trust me if a woman’s type is a certain male celebrity and she ends up in his bed she won’t be getting creeped out by his desire for her, she would welcome it. Feeding off of each other’s lust in the bedroom is highly intoxicating and is a huge part of having sexual chemistry. In my personal experiences and observations, chemistry is a combination of lust, healthy sexual attraction, comfortability with each other, emotional connection, and being in sync with each other's overall vibration ( sexual style, sexual body movement, overall behavior, and essence of who they are in and out of bed). It’s the same difference in your performance for an employer you love, versus an employer you like, versus an employer you hate. If you love your employer ( they have great pay, values, they genuinely care about you, etc) you will be much more likely to show up as your best self, perform the best, and have some level of pride, dignity, and passion for what you do. An employer you just like, you’ll bring a good version of yourself but not your best, and you’ll like but not love what you do. In other words, you’ll do a good job not a great job. And a job you’d hate will bring out the worst in you and the worst performance. Find women who you LOVE ****ing and making love to, and you’ll not only give your best performance, but your love-making will have the most potentially powerful impact on her.
Desire: You must have the desire and drive to leave a good impression in the bedroom. You must have a personal standard for yourself in doing a great job. Not unlike the man who mops the floor, but he decides to be the best floor mopper he can be. You must have the same mindset. You have to have the determination to want to perfect your craft, not unlike a barber or a perfumer. Lots of men complain that a small minority of men get all the girls but many of these very same men aren’t showing up, putting in the work, and willing to put their jaw on the line to be a better version of themselves. Many men forfeit and never show up before the fight even starts. You have to have that desire and drive to want to be a better lover, for yourself to set your own personal standard, for your woman if you want to retain her, and for future sexual experiences you may have. Yes, it requires work, and thinking but it’s worth it and if you don’t want to put in the work to be better that’s okay but don’t cry and complain when in the middle of an emotional or heated argument she hits below the belt and tells you that you can’t ****. Don’t be that guy.
Devotion: You must be devoted to becoming the best lover you can be. You must invest time, money, and effort into your own personal sexual development be it books, videos, workshops, supplements, health, and wellness. You must think of yourself as being married to the game so to speak. You’ll forever be a student of the game. This is humbling since you’ll have to realize that you’ll never achieve perfection but you can definitely achieve excellence. You must love this in your bones and in your blood. You must love it so much that if someone left 1000 stones in the yard and under every stone you improved as a lover you would turn over every goddamn stone with a huge smile and shining teeth. This type of dedication can make you feel good about the fact that you’re doing great work. To give it your all to something, to stick with it over time, and to create a strong personal standard for yourself builds character. It’s the right thing to do.
Discipline:You must have discipline to know what you’re doing in bed, there’s moments to let go and there are moments where you must have restraint. Discipline to control your orgasm so you don’t pop within the first 30 seconds. Discipline in doing the right thrusting power and depth when you penetrate your woman. Discipline in getting good at ****ing. You must know when to adjust things. You must know when to adjust your rhythm, when to adjust what type of techniques to use, and how much to use them. Every woman is a little different, every single one is calibrated a little differently. You need to have enough discipline to know how much to push, and how much to pull back, how much of one thing to give them versus something else. Some women enjoy being teased incessantly until they have to scream, shout, yell, and beg you to give them what they want. For those types of women, you’re going to need enough discipline to not pull the trigger right away in the bedroom. This type of discipline is great because then you can use it to transcend outside of the bedroom into other aspects of your life.
Adaptability: One of the most if not the most important skills in the bedroom, and in life. Can you course correct when you need to improvise, make a new move in bed, adjust the way you’re fingering her, eating her out, or making love to her? Can you take feedback and not get butthurt but rather use it as an experience to improve? Plenty of guys when their girl is giving them feedback tend to get offended, and often she will never say anything again and either suffer in silence to you being a subpar lay or find someone else to play with, whether she leaves you or not. If you can be humble and coachable enough to take feedback and adapt, you’ll be a very dangerous lover with many tools in your toolbox. This is also true outside of the bedroom. Employers want workers who are highly coachable and adaptable, businesses do better with adaptable entrepreneurs, and leaders of all kinds do better when they’re adaptable. You have nothing to lose by being more adaptable. In both the corporate world and in the bedroom I thought work ethic mattered the most, and yes it’s highly important but what matters more from my experience is the ability to be coachable and to adapt. Just like in the boardroom, in the bedroom your woman will be happy with your effort but she will be even happier if you can learn, adapt, and improvise better in bed.
Technique: Lovemaking is heavily an emotional act but let’s forget that you have to know what you’re doing and the easiest way to show that you do is your technique. Plenty of guys are still using the same moves since high school with no evolution or improvement. That would be the equivalent of wearing the same clothes today in your 30s or even your 40s that you’ve been wearing since you were 15 years old. It wouldn’t make any sense. Just as you evolve your techniques need to evolve, and they need to get better, more refined, and more diverse so you can handle different types of ways of pleasuring a woman. The song is called “I’ve Got the Moves Like Jagger” by Maroon 5 is called that for a reason. In the bedroom you can have passion, desire, or any other trait but if you don’t have the proper technique or the “moves” as mentioned in the song it all falls apart. Adam Levine knows this because, in his position as a famous singer he has had many women, and he understands the importance of having good technique and skills. Hence why he named it “I’ve Got the Moves Like Jagger” and not something else. It adds to your confidence because you know what you’re doing.
Passion: Showing high interest and high energy makes you come off engaged in the sexual experience. Don’t act like an overly eager little boy, but rather more in a mature, masculine, calm, dominant, and lustful way. 9 1/2 Weeks or Secretary (Both great movies) can give you some inspiration. Women love knowing that you’re enjoying yourself and so you should show her that. Use her body like a canvas and use your mouth, fingers, and member as your tools for creating a masterpiece of sexual lovemaking. Show her your intensity, that you’re enjoying her body and presence. Women love attention from the man they want. I cannot stress how much a woman needs your attention. Her getting attention from you is like you getting an orgasm from her. It’s to that degree of importance and the best way to give her that is in the bedroom by being a passionate lover. Just like a painter loves to paint, a writer loves to write, you need to love and be passionate about lovemaking. It will show in the bedroom and you’ll be very happy with the results.
Lust: Women want you to see them as ****able and as the object of your lustful desires. In your actions and your words, you need to deliver this. It will make her feel incredible and depending on your sexual market value relative to hers she should feel flattered, happy, and honored that you chose her to make love to. A lot of men get worried that they will come off creepy if they’re too lustful. I disagree. She will only think it’s creepy if she’s not sexually attracted to you. Trust me if a woman’s type is a certain male celebrity and she ends up in his bed she won’t be getting creeped out by his desire for her, she would welcome it. Feeding off of each other’s lust in the bedroom is highly intoxicating and is a huge part of having sexual chemistry. In my personal experiences and observations, chemistry is a combination of lust, healthy sexual attraction, comfortability with each other, emotional connection, and being in sync with each other's overall vibration ( sexual style, sexual body movement, overall behavior, and essence of who they are in and out of bed). It’s the same difference in your performance for an employer you love, versus an employer you like, versus an employer you hate. If you love your employer ( they have great pay, values, they genuinely care about you, etc) you will be much more likely to show up as your best self, perform the best, and have some level of pride, dignity, and passion for what you do. An employer you just like, you’ll bring a good version of yourself but not your best, and you’ll like but not love what you do. In other words, you’ll do a good job not a great job. And a job you’d hate will bring out the worst in you and the worst performance. Find women who you LOVE ****ing and making love to, and you’ll not only give your best performance, but your love-making will have the most potentially powerful impact on her.
Desire: You must have the desire and drive to leave a good impression in the bedroom. You must have a personal standard for yourself in doing a great job. Not unlike the man who mops the floor, but he decides to be the best floor mopper he can be. You must have the same mindset. You have to have the determination to want to perfect your craft, not unlike a barber or a perfumer. Lots of men complain that a small minority of men get all the girls but many of these very same men aren’t showing up, putting in the work, and willing to put their jaw on the line to be a better version of themselves. Many men forfeit and never show up before the fight even starts. You have to have that desire and drive to want to be a better lover, for yourself to set your own personal standard, for your woman if you want to retain her, and for future sexual experiences you may have. Yes, it requires work, and thinking but it’s worth it and if you don’t want to put in the work to be better that’s okay but don’t cry and complain when in the middle of an emotional or heated argument she hits below the belt and tells you that you can’t ****. Don’t be that guy.
Devotion: You must be devoted to becoming the best lover you can be. You must invest time, money, and effort into your own personal sexual development be it books, videos, workshops, supplements, health, and wellness. You must think of yourself as being married to the game so to speak. You’ll forever be a student of the game. This is humbling since you’ll have to realize that you’ll never achieve perfection but you can definitely achieve excellence. You must love this in your bones and in your blood. You must love it so much that if someone left 1000 stones in the yard and under every stone you improved as a lover you would turn over every goddamn stone with a huge smile and shining teeth. This type of dedication can make you feel good about the fact that you’re doing great work. To give it your all to something, to stick with it over time, and to create a strong personal standard for yourself builds character. It’s the right thing to do.
Discipline:You must have discipline to know what you’re doing in bed, there’s moments to let go and there are moments where you must have restraint. Discipline to control your orgasm so you don’t pop within the first 30 seconds. Discipline in doing the right thrusting power and depth when you penetrate your woman. Discipline in getting good at ****ing. You must know when to adjust things. You must know when to adjust your rhythm, when to adjust what type of techniques to use, and how much to use them. Every woman is a little different, every single one is calibrated a little differently. You need to have enough discipline to know how much to push, and how much to pull back, how much of one thing to give them versus something else. Some women enjoy being teased incessantly until they have to scream, shout, yell, and beg you to give them what they want. For those types of women, you’re going to need enough discipline to not pull the trigger right away in the bedroom. This type of discipline is great because then you can use it to transcend outside of the bedroom into other aspects of your life.
Adaptability: One of the most if not the most important skills in the bedroom, and in life. Can you course correct when you need to improvise, make a new move in bed, adjust the way you’re fingering her, eating her out, or making love to her? Can you take feedback and not get butthurt but rather use it as an experience to improve? Plenty of guys when their girl is giving them feedback tend to get offended, and often she will never say anything again and either suffer in silence to you being a subpar lay or find someone else to play with, whether she leaves you or not. If you can be humble and coachable enough to take feedback and adapt, you’ll be a very dangerous lover with many tools in your toolbox. This is also true outside of the bedroom. Employers want workers who are highly coachable and adaptable, businesses do better with adaptable entrepreneurs, and leaders of all kinds do better when they’re adaptable. You have nothing to lose by being more adaptable. In both the corporate world and in the bedroom I thought work ethic mattered the most, and yes it’s highly important but what matters more from my experience is the ability to be coachable and to adapt. Just like in the boardroom, in the bedroom your woman will be happy with your effort but she will be even happier if you can learn, adapt, and improvise better in bed.
Technique: Lovemaking is heavily an emotional act but let’s forget that you have to know what you’re doing and the easiest way to show that you do is your technique. Plenty of guys are still using the same moves since high school with no evolution or improvement. That would be the equivalent of wearing the same clothes today in your 30s or even your 40s that you’ve been wearing since you were 15 years old. It wouldn’t make any sense. Just as you evolve your techniques need to evolve, and they need to get better, more refined, and more diverse so you can handle different types of ways of pleasuring a woman. The song is called “I’ve Got the Moves Like Jagger” by Maroon 5 is called that for a reason. In the bedroom you can have passion, desire, or any other trait but if you don’t have the proper technique or the “moves” as mentioned in the song it all falls apart. Adam Levine knows this because, in his position as a famous singer he has had many women, and he understands the importance of having good technique and skills. Hence why he named it “I’ve Got the Moves Like Jagger” and not something else. It adds to your confidence because you know what you’re doing.
