Erm... girls are weird ...

[pingpongz]

Was going out with a girl for 4 months... We were really close... talked a couple hours on the phone each night. A couple weeks ago she broke up with me to see another guy(who was a part-time fire man, in the army really big **** etc she told me this lOl). Shes now moving to where i live for college and has broken up with the new guy.

I asked her on the phone whats the story with us and she said we should start out friends first again and see what happens...

This is the weird part... i said to her "Hey,,, you still owe me lots of sex(didn't get to see her much while we were going out)" and she just laughed and agreed... so then my next question was "So am i right in assuming im at least getting an open casual relationship" She said "yeh you probally will"

I have 2 opinions on this:
1) She wants to be a ***** in college
2) She needs me to look after her ... its the first city she will have ever lived in and she will be far away from friends and family.. she was crying on the phone to me about it.

What should i do? Im thinking i will keep her casual and get as much sex as possible and just put up with being in the friend-zone until i get nexted?

 

[WalkingStick]

Well, if you just want a FB, go for it. You wont have a chance at an actual relationship again.

 

[pingpongz]

Well, if you just want a FB, go for it. You wont have a chance at an actual relationship again.

Why not ?

 

[shaunuk]

eh, why would you WANT another relationship with her? I don't even feel I need to explain this to you. She might let you tap it when she moves to your city but don't try to get into another relationship with her because she doesn't seem into you enough to be honest...

Just think about it mate..

Leave you feelings behind and out of this from now on. I'd fvck her but nothing more

 

[pingpongz]

eh, why would you WANT another relationship with her? I don't even feel I need to explain this to you. She might let you tap it when she moves to your city but don't try to get into another relationship with her because she doesn't seem into you enough to be honest...

Just think about it mate..

Leave you feelings behind and out of this from now on. I'd fvck her but nothing more

easier said than done.. i was closer to her than any other girl.. she said the same about me last night.

Shes also expressed an interest in moving in with me.


The hardest thing is knowing shes has another guys **** in her since me... any advice on how to get rid of this feeling?

 

[Da Realist]

She's just baiting you along so she can get a place. She'll give you a little to get a room and then she'll break up with you when its safe.

 

[DJDamage]

2) She needs me to look after her ... its the first city she will have ever lived in and she will be far away from friends and family.. she was crying on the phone to me about it.

Bingo.

She dumped you, remember that. Now she is reeling you in with the promise of sex because prehaps you are one of the few guys she knows on campus and needs attention at the moment (it does not automatically means you will get sex).

By the second week of college she will make friends with a new group of people especially guys and will probably leave you out in the cold again.

Don't build your hopes on this chick.

 

[Interceptor]

I asked her on the phone whats the story with us and she said we should start out friends first again and see what happens...

This is the weird part... i said to her "Hey,,, you still owe me lots of sex(didn't get to see her much while we were going out)" and she just laughed and agreed... so then my next question was "So am i right in assuming im at least getting an open casual relationship" She said "yeh you probally will"

You are not leading.

You are fishing for answers and security.

You are trying to micromanage this and you are the consistent rebound guy from now on I think.


You are giving her the power to decide all your decisions for you.


She beaks up with you to go fvck some other dude, and you dutifully provide her, and want to provide her with everything she wants, without her having to ackowledge and admit how she acted, and how she disrespected you, and you unfortunately are a little oblivous to how you were disrespected.


Dont let this female own you.


Dont give her the importance you feel the need to do.


I know you are desperate for sex, but giving up respect, and your dignity is NOT the most honoring thing to do.

Dont set up the pattern for her to break off with you when she needs new d*ck, and then when shes bored of the new d*ck, you are dutifully standing by her to take her back.

And then you are seeming so needy and insecure you keep asking in effect: "are we ok?? huh? is this ok with you??? will you please give me sex??? Please???" While she was the one who dumped you for some other guy.
When you are always ASKING a woman, she NOTICES, and she realized how INSECURE you are. And how desperate you are to accomodate her, at your expense.
Women feel most safe, and secure when men are leading.
When you are asking just HOW the direction of the relationship is going all the time, you are communicating you are not feeling secure about how and where you are leading the relationship. This is subtle, yet very important.



You're not commanding her respect.

And you are communicating to her that you dont value being respected and honored as a Man.


I believe you were not communicating strength, authority,and solid confident masculinity during your long talks.
This is where she got the bulk of her perception of you.

Perhaps you are a person who wants deep intimacy and bonding with a woman. You want to feel comfortable expressing yourself honestly and openly to her.

And that is GOOD. It is nothing to be ashamed of.

BUT....

you may need to learn how to bond in a more mature, secure, and masculine manner.

Think about this..
..most guys tend to try to communicate with woman by IDENTIFYING with them, NOT RELATING to them as a Man to their woman.
Relating is not identifying. Relating is preferred



Good luck.

 

[Mavrick]

You need to be the man in the relationship. You don't ask where it's going. You just do what ever the fvck you want and let to woman complain that she can't keep you pinned down.

You MUST assume that you are attractive to her or any other woman and use that to show her how lucky she is to have you. Push/pull her, dude.

Too many guys come one here thinking they have to HAVE this woman. Why? Why the hell can't she be the one that HAS to have you? Stop putting her on a pedestal and believing that you must kiss her ass to have her.

What brings a woman in is the push once you've pulled her in. You have to spike her emotions. That's the way the work. If you're the boring old guy that's available at the flip of a switch, she'll lose interest very quickly.

So, ignore some of her calls. When she calls, tell her you can't talk. When she asks why, tell her you have someone over cooking for you, and it would be rude to talk to her. Then later ask her out, and stand her up. Play the **** out of her, and the more you do, the more she'll want you. It all works exactly opposite as you think it does.

This girl dumped you, and you're coming here asking what you should do now that she's talking to you again. That in no way portrays that you believe that she's lucky just to be talking to you.

Play play play

 

[Igetit!]

There's so much wrong with this scenario,it's hard to believe that you're actually serious about wanting to date this girl. I doubt that you really have a chance with this her. Why? Ok,I'll start at the top.
1:You talk on the phone with her every night.
I know that this might seem like a good idea,but in reality it's not.When you talk to a girl too much,too often,generally you fall into the friendzone.A woman has to feel attraction in order to want to date you,and attraction should be generated in spurts from time to time.And I guarantee you that by talking to her every night for four months,instead of generating attraction in her,you probably became like one of her "girlfriends".Also,she told you about some other guy she had started dating.This is how girls talk to other girls.

2:You asked her what the story was with you two.
That in itself was a mistake.You made it seem as if you have no other options,no other girls that you were interested in. Like you were just sitting around,doing nothing,waiting for her to give you the green light.If she thinks you are going to be there forever waiting for her,like a spare tire just waiting to be used,then she'll has no desire for you.If she thinks you are planning to move on,that you have other girls you are interested in,then she'll have a greater interest in you because then she'll realize that you aren't going to be available forever.And that thing you said about asking her were you right in assuming about having a open relationship with her was just plain ridiculuos.
You made it seem as if you were a dog begging for scraps of food.

3:Now here's the gran finale.You said that she was crying on the phone to you about moving from her family and friends. Well,that clinches it right there.
It's offical.You're in the friendzone.One way in and no way out.And what do you mean about putting up with the friendzone until you get nexted? Getting put in the friendzone IS being nexted.

 

[pingpongz]

3:Now here's the gran finale.You said that she was crying on the phone to you about moving from her family and friends. Well,that clinches it right there.
It's offical.You're in the friendzone.One way in and no way out.And what do you mean about putting up with the friendzone until you get nexted? Getting put in the friendzone IS being nexted.

Not if im getting sex

 

[Da Realist]

Not if im getting sex

You can get sex from any other woman, so why are you worried about getting it from her?

 

[pingpongz]

You can get sex from any other woman, so why are you worried about getting it from her?

Its not that... its a pride issue... another guy got my girl. Seriously dents my confidence and im going to have a hard time getting over her until i **** her again and dump her myself...

 

[Rounder]

You won't get to the opportunity to dump her, even if you have sex with her again she is in control because you handed it to her on a silver platter. She cares the least and she knows it.

She disrespected you to your face - telling you about a "macho" guy with a big dinger. IF that guy was real he probably ditched her when he was done with her but she wanted to take her turn.

Get your heart out of this situation because you are NOT getting hers.

If you can bang her and not get wrapped up in thinking you can still "win her over" then go for it -but it doesn't sound like you are capable of that.

You might try bangin her, then w/o saying a word, get up, get dressed and walk out. Make it good for her, tease the hell out of her but don't let her get hers....when you're finished, just get up and leave. She'll either want more or never talk to you again.

 

[Da Realist]

Why stop there? Go find the guy who took your woman and kill his dog too!

 

[Mavrick]

Its not that... its a pride issue... another guy got my girl. Seriously dents my confidence and im going to have a hard time getting over her until i **** her again and dump her myself...

Don't let your ego get the best of you. You have nothing to prove here. If she doesn't see that you're the best for her, then that's her issue, not yours. It doesn't mean you're any less of a man than you were before. If you let her cause you to lose confidence, then you'll have even less for the next girl. Next thing you know, you'll appear so desperate that no decent woman will give you a chance.

Don't let this woman have the best of you. You need to treat her, and all women for that matter, like they are lucky to have you.

 

[Smack]

Why not ?

That is not the question you should be asking. In fact, you shouldn't even want a relationship with this girl. She did dump you, and all. And when she did that she made her decision. She prefers other men to you; you are not her 'one'.

Just have her as a FB.

 

[TheBaconator]

Its not that... its a pride issue... another guy got my girl. Seriously dents my confidence and im going to have a hard time getting over her until i **** her again and dump her myself...

Wake up, she's not your girl anymore!

Jeeze dude, she bragged to you about how big the other guys johnson is to you. Now she's using you for shelter and attention. Why let this girl walk all over you?

I realize getting over a first love is very difficult, but you need to get back in touch with reality and show some self respect.