W1 report: The night that could have been.
I got LJBF from a female the morning before a Ball. I played it off as if nothing changed. Once again, my ego, AFC behavior and over-confidence got me.
Being a prominent figure at this gathering I spent the early part of the night feeling on top of the world. The drinks were flowing and i was speaking to everyone, messing around and the life of the party; all the while HB 'LJBF' looked like she was having a rough night. I maintained as much pleasantries as I could between her and me as how platonic acquaintances should.
As the night progressed, everyone starts hitting the dance floor. I am still on my high, dancing with everyone all the while messaging a HB to find me. Yet I always had that nagging feeling of someone watching me. I don't know if it was the alcohol or my mind playing tricks but every now and then from the corner of my eye, HB LJBF seemed to be watching me as I danced and grinded my way through about 10 woman and it affected me. I tell you all now, that night I had atleast 4 woman I could would have kissed closed, 1 of which tried and yet I turned the cheek; all because of this HB and for what reason I do not know. My mind is weak, my emotional attachment; strong. Furthermore I blew it with the HB I was targetting as she walked past me chatting up another female - her whole demeanor that night changed.
The night ends in a comfortable fizzle out at a club as I once again stumble home empty handed.
The good:
-I enjoyed myself regardless of how the night ended up
-I went out after when normally I am not as much of a sociable person
-I did not allow myself to become emotionally charged as I watched HB LJBF dancing with another guy. I think this was the most crucial part of my night. I told myself to remember this feeling, remember the pain because from this night forth, it will never be the same again.
The bad:
-4 prospective kiss closes and prospective lays yet I went home empty handed because of a lack of balls and hesitance
-Again my lack of balls prevented me from busting dance moves (I'm a a dancer) that could have even improved my standing even better!
What I have learnt:
-Stop caring
-Game wise, be selective of whom you are after on a night out and don't overstretch yourself as it will come back to bite you
-Stop over thinking and enjoy the night - when I did this, I was having a ball.
I shall end on this note that beside this massive hangover and lack of sleep, I am feeling relatively good about myself. That night I watched a friend whom has been chasing after a HB for the last 8 months be continually baulked as he made his moves and the il ease he felt as he watched other guys including myself grinding against his woman. I will not be that guy.
Goals:
-Read the DJ Bible properly
-Cold approach 1 HB
-Number close 1 HB
-Force myself to go out once socially the next week
-Throw myself at my study and treat it like a job. No more procrastination and waffling around
-Throw myself back into the gym and start pumping iron
-Actually practice my dancing so that I am not all talk and no game.
