"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Epic Tale of Transformation (Long!!!)
- Thread starter Mr. Fingers
- Start date
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Mr. Fingers
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- May 26, 2003
- Messages
- 230
- Reaction score
- 52
Unexpected turn of events
You guys are gonna love this!
Guess who just TRACKED me down and gave me a call? Maria #1 !!! That's right, the menage chick says she found one of my poems at her house the other day when she was cleaning and has been thinking about me. (maybe the poetry was not such an AFC move after all!) I could tell she was pissed that I stopped calling her. Hehe..she was not ready for my new DJ skills either. Accused her of stalking me and was basically fu¢king with her the whole time. Had her laughing for a good 10 minutes before I told her I had to go. Long story short, she told me she wanted to fly over here to hang with me for 2 fun-filled weeks! I told her it was a great idea but not to get any funny ideas cuz she would be sleeping on the couch
. I kept trying to say goodbye but she just would not let me hang up. Finally I told her I had friends waiting for me (the truth) and we hung up. She called me an hour later and left a message saying she had already booked her ticket!
Talk about a 180!
She arrives on July 11th. MUAHAHAHAHAAHHAAA!
I will def keep yall posted as the drama unfolds!
Fingers out
p.s. thanks for reading the whole thing davelmn2003! I know this thing is Di¢k-Rickulously long.
You guys are gonna love this!
Guess who just TRACKED me down and gave me a call? Maria #1 !!! That's right, the menage chick says she found one of my poems at her house the other day when she was cleaning and has been thinking about me. (maybe the poetry was not such an AFC move after all!) I could tell she was pissed that I stopped calling her. Hehe..she was not ready for my new DJ skills either. Accused her of stalking me and was basically fu¢king with her the whole time. Had her laughing for a good 10 minutes before I told her I had to go. Long story short, she told me she wanted to fly over here to hang with me for 2 fun-filled weeks! I told her it was a great idea but not to get any funny ideas cuz she would be sleeping on the couch
. I kept trying to say goodbye but she just would not let me hang up. Finally I told her I had friends waiting for me (the truth) and we hung up. She called me an hour later and left a message saying she had already booked her ticket! Talk about a 180!
She arrives on July 11th.
MUAHAHAHAHAAHHAAA!I will def keep yall posted as the drama unfolds!
Fingers out
p.s. thanks for reading the whole thing davelmn2003! I know this thing is Di¢k-Rickulously long.
davelmn2003
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 13, 2003
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- 360
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- 0
Mr. Fingers, my goodness!! Maria #1 is coming back for more!? I was dating this super hot chick who stopped communicating with me after two weeks. I hope she'll turn around, too... but in the mean time I cannot wait for her. I have to seek new territories to conquer!
Keep us posted!!
Keep us posted!!
no way man! you are giving me a glimmer of hope for my LJBF cases here. Goes to show how the best approach is to cut these girls off completely so that they chase you, and even if they dont, whogivesash!t, right?
I cant belive she tracked you down in another country! thats som determination there. Wouldn't it be funny if she only likes menage now and wants you to tag team dat ass with a friend? Would you still hit it? hehe, tasteless question I know but what can I say.i am a tastless guy somtimes. Fill us in on the juicy details!!!
I cant belive she tracked you down in another country! thats som determination there. Wouldn't it be funny if she only likes menage now and wants you to tag team dat ass with a friend? Would you still hit it? hehe, tasteless question I know but what can I say.i am a tastless guy somtimes. Fill us in on the juicy details!!!
Master of the Universe
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Jan 17, 2002
- Messages
- 396
- Reaction score
- 12
Hi Mr. Fingers,
First of all, I've got to let you know that I've been enjoying your posts. Not only is your content excellent, but your writing style is very enjoyable!
I've wanted to make a few comments on this particular post...
OK..pause for a second. Looking back, I'd like to point out some errors. First of all, I already put this chick on pedestal, believing that she crapped flowers and pissed pure gold. WRONG!!!! Even worse, I did not initiate any kino during this very powerful transaction. So many opportunities I was letting go right past me, but what can I say? I really was clueless....Alright, roll tape again!
Actually you did a lot more right than wrong. In fact there was only one real thing you did wrong, but we'll get into all that soon.
We talk a little deeper about our lives and my nomadic lifestyle came up. At the time I didn't have an apartment and was couch surfing with friends/family. She is shocked when I tell her this, but understands completely, saying she had just gotten out of her couch surfing phase last month and found an apt. She asks where I was staying and I reply, "probably right here for tonight" which was true, I had been crashing at the gallery occasionally. So she really surprises me by offering her place as a crash pad. I was like "really?" She was like "sure, the place is really a work in progress so I hope you don't mind the mess!" "No problem!" came my AFC reply.
MISTAKE! Here is where I really messed up. A little C&F would have been perfect. Should have accused her of trying to get me back to her place and seduce me "I'm not that easy...etc, etc" oh well, back to the story.
Actually that was not a mistake. Both the C&F and your "No problem" response were effective. In fact, I like the first response more. Up to this point you were very straightforward yet charming, there's no point to go C&F unless that is your personality.
So we get to her place and it is a wreck just like she said, but I ignore it, not wanting to offend (one of my biggest problems in life..shoulda teased her about being a slob..sigh) We end up talking all night, having really great conversation with all sorts of profound epiphanies about life. We really stimulate each other mentally, but again, this is my fu©kup...no kino, letting the convo last for too long instead of making her want more and being too much of a wuss to close in for a kiss. She even gives me the perfect opportunity with some intense eye contact after reciting a love poem she wrote. But I am paralyzed!! We just keep talking until about 7AM we finally crash out and I dream that I actually had the balls to do something!
Okay, there is where your ONLY mistake came. And it wasn't that you talked all night - that was great (nothing is more wonderful than building real rapport with a girl you're attracted to). The only problem was that you were afraid of your sexuality, and didn't move things forward physically.
Had you went for a kiss or more, then you would have had a PERFECT seduction.
I wake up the next day and leave her a poem. Another mistake!
No, no mistake. You're a poet. That's who you are. There is nothing wrong with writing or giving her poems. But then again, I read ahead and am not surprised that the poem had the effect that it did.
Despite all my chumpy behavior, this chick is still into me!
There was no chumpy behavior yet... she's attracted to you like she always was and thinks that maybe you like to take things slow. She's still waiting for you to take the lead.
So we set a date to meet for dinner and she offers her place for me to crash again, saying how she really enjoys my company, etc. I accept of course and end up kicking myself all night because it is just a repeat of the first. Lots of talk and nothing physical. I can feel that LJBF coming! I just can't seem to find the right moment to escalate to the next level with a kiss. I leave the next day and my frustration mounts...
Okay, the chumpy behavior is now in force.
Stay over her house a third time and we are in the SAME BED and Mr. Fingers is still afraid to bust a move!!
At this point she figures that you aren't attracted to her, or you're too much of a wuss to make a move. Either way she loses interest...
She started to confide in me about guys she was dating and even told me about her first menage a troi experience she had with these two guys the night after we met!
Ouch dude, I felt that pain and it didn't even happen to me. I can only imagine - congratulations for getting back on your feet.
"Hi, my name is Mr. Fingers. I just flew into town and love to meet new people!"
One of the best openers I've heard in a long time. Straight to the point, sincere, and interesting.
To top it off, when I am not DJing, I am a social butterfly like never before. Inspired in particular by Master of the Universe's posts (THANKS MOTU!) I have learned to play the host of the party wherever I go.
Thanks for the compliment. It makes me feel good that I had a positive influence. Thank you, even though you're making me blush
Again, excellent posts, and equally excellent writing style. I thoroughly enjoyed this and your other posts. Much more important than PU strategies, you seem like a really cool guy. That alone will get you all the chicks you want - assuming you get out of your own way and not be afraid to show your sexuality, which it looks like you're doing just fine right now.
If you find yourself in Southern California drop me a message, I'd like to hang out with you.
Master of the Universe
First of all, I've got to let you know that I've been enjoying your posts. Not only is your content excellent, but your writing style is very enjoyable!
I've wanted to make a few comments on this particular post...
OK..pause for a second. Looking back, I'd like to point out some errors. First of all, I already put this chick on pedestal, believing that she crapped flowers and pissed pure gold. WRONG!!!! Even worse, I did not initiate any kino during this very powerful transaction. So many opportunities I was letting go right past me, but what can I say? I really was clueless....Alright, roll tape again!
Actually you did a lot more right than wrong. In fact there was only one real thing you did wrong, but we'll get into all that soon.
We talk a little deeper about our lives and my nomadic lifestyle came up. At the time I didn't have an apartment and was couch surfing with friends/family. She is shocked when I tell her this, but understands completely, saying she had just gotten out of her couch surfing phase last month and found an apt. She asks where I was staying and I reply, "probably right here for tonight" which was true, I had been crashing at the gallery occasionally. So she really surprises me by offering her place as a crash pad. I was like "really?" She was like "sure, the place is really a work in progress so I hope you don't mind the mess!" "No problem!" came my AFC reply.
MISTAKE! Here is where I really messed up. A little C&F would have been perfect. Should have accused her of trying to get me back to her place and seduce me "I'm not that easy...etc, etc" oh well, back to the story.
Actually that was not a mistake. Both the C&F and your "No problem" response were effective. In fact, I like the first response more. Up to this point you were very straightforward yet charming, there's no point to go C&F unless that is your personality.
So we get to her place and it is a wreck just like she said, but I ignore it, not wanting to offend (one of my biggest problems in life..shoulda teased her about being a slob..sigh) We end up talking all night, having really great conversation with all sorts of profound epiphanies about life. We really stimulate each other mentally, but again, this is my fu©kup...no kino, letting the convo last for too long instead of making her want more and being too much of a wuss to close in for a kiss. She even gives me the perfect opportunity with some intense eye contact after reciting a love poem she wrote. But I am paralyzed!! We just keep talking until about 7AM we finally crash out and I dream that I actually had the balls to do something!
Okay, there is where your ONLY mistake came. And it wasn't that you talked all night - that was great (nothing is more wonderful than building real rapport with a girl you're attracted to). The only problem was that you were afraid of your sexuality, and didn't move things forward physically.
Had you went for a kiss or more, then you would have had a PERFECT seduction.
I wake up the next day and leave her a poem. Another mistake!
No, no mistake. You're a poet. That's who you are. There is nothing wrong with writing or giving her poems. But then again, I read ahead and am not surprised that the poem had the effect that it did.
Despite all my chumpy behavior, this chick is still into me!
There was no chumpy behavior yet... she's attracted to you like she always was and thinks that maybe you like to take things slow. She's still waiting for you to take the lead.
So we set a date to meet for dinner and she offers her place for me to crash again, saying how she really enjoys my company, etc. I accept of course and end up kicking myself all night because it is just a repeat of the first. Lots of talk and nothing physical. I can feel that LJBF coming! I just can't seem to find the right moment to escalate to the next level with a kiss. I leave the next day and my frustration mounts...
Okay, the chumpy behavior is now in force.
Stay over her house a third time and we are in the SAME BED and Mr. Fingers is still afraid to bust a move!!
At this point she figures that you aren't attracted to her, or you're too much of a wuss to make a move. Either way she loses interest...
She started to confide in me about guys she was dating and even told me about her first menage a troi experience she had with these two guys the night after we met!
Ouch dude, I felt that pain and it didn't even happen to me. I can only imagine - congratulations for getting back on your feet."Hi, my name is Mr. Fingers. I just flew into town and love to meet new people!"
One of the best openers I've heard in a long time. Straight to the point, sincere, and interesting.
To top it off, when I am not DJing, I am a social butterfly like never before. Inspired in particular by Master of the Universe's posts (THANKS MOTU!) I have learned to play the host of the party wherever I go.
Thanks for the compliment. It makes me feel good that I had a positive influence. Thank you, even though you're making me blush
Again, excellent posts, and equally excellent writing style. I thoroughly enjoyed this and your other posts. Much more important than PU strategies, you seem like a really cool guy. That alone will get you all the chicks you want - assuming you get out of your own way and not be afraid to show your sexuality, which it looks like you're doing just fine right now.
If you find yourself in Southern California drop me a message, I'd like to hang out with you.
Master of the Universe
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
A split second after I read that sentence, I wanted to rip off my hair and destroy something. Haven't felt like that since my last one-itis. And this from only reading your story. I actually had to walk around to calm down and continue reading. Really weird.
Very educational reading. And like MOTU is saying, I love your writing style.
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She started to confide in me about guys she was dating and even told me about her first menage a troi experience she had with these two guys the night after we met!
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I had to stop reading as well, and get some water when I read this. Sometimes we just can't picture a friend of us, or a girl we like doing this.
It made me remember the time I was having sex with this girl and when doing so she got a call from a dude she was starting to date. She talked with him and I never stopped the action, she even moaned once and kept biting her fist whilst he was talking. And he was clueless.
I'm glad I was the one humping and not the one calling. But who knows?, this could happen to any one.
She started to confide in me about guys she was dating and even told me about her first menage a troi experience she had with these two guys the night after we met!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I had to stop reading as well, and get some water when I read this. Sometimes we just can't picture a friend of us, or a girl we like doing this.
It made me remember the time I was having sex with this girl and when doing so she got a call from a dude she was starting to date. She talked with him and I never stopped the action, she even moaned once and kept biting her fist whilst he was talking. And he was clueless.
I'm glad I was the one humping and not the one calling. But who knows?, this could happen to any one.
If you remember anything, remember this...
Example: I met this woman for the first time the other night and she starts going off on how dating is a drag and blah, blah, blah...
My reply was, "hey, as long as I'm in the dating world, I'm going to have fun with it. I have nothing against marriage, far from it. When I meet someone with whom it would be more fun to be married than I have at dating, then I'll know that marriage is the right way to go. Until then, fun is Job One with me."
This was during a date in which I was going full-tilt ****y+funny, using a touch of kino, etc. Needless to say, we're going out again soon. Why? She had fun.
This is incredibly important to remember and practice.
Example: I met this woman for the first time the other night and she starts going off on how dating is a drag and blah, blah, blah...
My reply was, "hey, as long as I'm in the dating world, I'm going to have fun with it. I have nothing against marriage, far from it. When I meet someone with whom it would be more fun to be married than I have at dating, then I'll know that marriage is the right way to go. Until then, fun is Job One with me."
This was during a date in which I was going full-tilt ****y+funny, using a touch of kino, etc. Needless to say, we're going out again soon. Why? She had fun.
That was superb, very entertaining, great job man huge inspiration.. I've always had a natural charm when it comes to the ladys i'm very talented, well rounded and fairly good looking.....
I just really need to grow some MAJOR balls in most situations
Where can I learn all the terms, like Kino? there a dictionary?
I just really need to grow some MAJOR balls in most situations
Where can I learn all the terms, like Kino? there a dictionary?
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
this post is absolutely priceless. We need more progress reports like this, nothing erks me more than someone that post and then leaves us hanging on how things panned out.
Mr.Fingers, you had me feeling as though I was strapped to your forehead on these adventures, you writing style is very detailed and esy to follow. Good job!
I cant wait to hear about how this manage chick ends up (other than on her back screeming your name ).
Mr.Fingers, you had me feeling as though I was strapped to your forehead on these adventures, you writing style is very detailed and esy to follow. Good job!
I cant wait to hear about how this manage chick ends up (other than on her back screeming your name
).Mr. Fingers
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- May 26, 2003
- Messages
- 230
- Reaction score
- 52
MOTU
Thanks for the input, dawg! I will actually be visiting some of my peoples in San Fran next Spring. It would be great if we could hang dude. Where are you located, BTW? I will try to PM ya cuz I am not sure you will check this thread. Again I appreciate the time you put into your response and I think my blush is redder than yours
Imbrondir
Glad you dig, mah bruthah! Yeah I was pretty traumatized by the whole thing. All I can do about the past is laugh at my own AFC ass! Hey thatsa kinda funky rhyme...
awake
You are a bad, bad man! But it sounds like she woulda done the deed anyway so it may as well be you getting your rocks off. I personally dont mess with taken ladies, they are usually trouble, but if you can handle the bullsh!t, more power to ya.
*sigh*
This has definitely set me back a bit. My confidence is shot and I feel like I have to build it up all over again. My only consolation is that there is a lesson wrapped in this.
Its great to dream and plan for the future, but realize that nothing goes the way you plan it. Don't have expectations, for they often let you down and keep you from enjoying the big "wow" that is happening right now
Time to lick my wounds and move on.
The funny part is I feel like I let yall down! I hate when stories have anti-climatic endings, and yet...here I am.
I guess I just need to flip this and see it as a new beginning or sum sh!t. Gotta get outta this funk.
Time to go meet some friends for laughs.
Fingers------->out
Thanks for the input, dawg! I will actually be visiting some of my peoples in San Fran next Spring. It would be great if we could hang dude. Where are you located, BTW? I will try to PM ya cuz I am not sure you will check this thread. Again I appreciate the time you put into your response and I think my blush is redder than yours
Imbrondir
Glad you dig, mah bruthah! Yeah I was pretty traumatized by the whole thing. All I can do about the past is laugh at my own AFC ass! Hey thatsa kinda funky rhyme...
awake
You are a bad, bad man! But it sounds like she woulda done the deed anyway so it may as well be you getting your rocks off. I personally dont mess with taken ladies, they are usually trouble, but if you can handle the bullsh!t, more power to ya.
Brilliant. I love it. STOLEN! You got your priorities straight man. Kudos
Well, deeman. I got news for ya. She FLAKED! I waited for her at the airport and she never showed! I emailed her and left her messages because I was worried she was killed or something. But she hasnt returned my calls. I spoke to a mutual friend the other day to see if he knew anything and he said he saw her last weekend. (That flakey BYTCH!)Originally posted by deeman
I cant wait to hear about how this manage chick ends up (other than on her back screeming your name
*sigh*
This has definitely set me back a bit. My confidence is shot and I feel like I have to build it up all over again. My only consolation is that there is a lesson wrapped in this.
Its great to dream and plan for the future, but realize that nothing goes the way you plan it. Don't have expectations, for they often let you down and keep you from enjoying the big "wow" that is happening right now
Time to lick my wounds and move on.
The funny part is I feel like I let yall down! I hate when stories have anti-climatic endings, and yet...here I am.
I guess I just need to flip this and see it as a new beginning or sum sh!t. Gotta get outta this funk.
Time to go meet some friends for laughs.
Fingers------->out
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Oscar Wilde
Master Don Juan
Gawddamn, didn't see that one coming. Fsck it, what doesn't kill ya makes ya stronger, right?
Be cool Mr. F, love those reports.
Oscar.
Nooby Doo
Don Juan
Friggin awesome!
Although I am sorry you didnt get the ending you wanted.
I was rooting for you all the way and i felt my heart sink when I read how she dissed you. Oh well, she is the one who is missing out on a great time in spain with a smooth DJ, her loss!
Although I am sorry you didnt get the ending you wanted.
I was rooting for you all the way and i felt my heart sink when I read how she dissed you. Oh well, she is the one who is missing out on a great time in spain with a smooth DJ, her loss!
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
sheesh. i guess this is a bad week for us Fingers. I just got shot down bigtime and am feelin pretty crappy. It is hard not to let rejection get to you but I guess we just have to get thicker skins.
Hang in there bro, if anyone can bounce back, you will!
Hang in there bro, if anyone can bounce back, you will!
TesuqueRed
Master Don Juan
Fingers -- next time she's plans on flying over, no meeting her at the airport! Tell her to call you when she gets in town and let you know where she's staying.
She gets less privileges with ea flake.
She gets less privileges with ea flake.
Wonderbread166
Senior Don Juan
It's in WoMS towards the end.
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.