"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Enthusiasm vs. Goofiness

DmanD

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 14, 2007
Messages
13
Reaction score
0
whats crackin fellow DJs?

yep so couple days ago was another day of practice for my skills when we (along w/ some friends) were working, doing some boring things w/ many new people from places. I was feeling really well starting conversations w/ new people (hb too) and making alot of people laugh, making the work not as boring. Now while I mixed some C+F when talking to the girls and even other people one of my friends kept calling me loud and goofy (in a good "loving" way, i guess).

Now any of u guys can share the difference between suave + funny (Enthusiastic) vs. just goofy?

PS The whole time I enjoying myself ( not really trying hard or anything) and positive reactions kept me going (btw did u notice how w/ some people u r on top of your game and w/ some anything u'll say will not be as funny or smart, and it influences u too??)

So if anybody can clarify on the subject... please DO!!!

Thanks
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

Michele l'Arcangelo

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 5, 2005
Messages
1,460
Reaction score
22
it's simpler than you make it seem.

a good balance of everything is better than being JUST suave+funny... or just goofy.

be it all... but as you observed, not everyone you talk to is the same... thats when you can lean a little bit towards being slightly goofier, more suave, or funnier.

but just TRY don't be someone you're not! you'll look awkward. if you're a calm and collected person... who's trying to act goofy... you'll just look like you're trying to hard.
 

Snow Plowman

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 18, 2006
Messages
1,229
Reaction score
39
Location
NY
Goofy is more like you giving your power away and being a dancing monkey. Basically I'm saying your doing all that stuff in order to get a response out of her which is a big no-no. The purpose should be you doing it for your own amusement and playing around with her.

Enthusiasim is more of an expression of how your feeling. So if your enthusiastic about what your saying then girls will feel that same emotional spike that you felt as you spoke about it.
 

EdHunter

Don Juan
Joined
Mar 3, 2007
Messages
117
Reaction score
0
I think the above two posters have made some excellent points...leading me to I think the Cliffs Note for this thread:
Ask yourself, who are you doing <whatever> for? For yourself, or for someone else? It's usually easy to tell...
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

Read more...

Top