"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Entertaining yet tricky...

The Comeback Kid

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This summer, I'm interning for the summer with a pro sports team. Last week, we moved our offices a few hours away where the team would be training for the next 3 weeks. I learned that, along with the three year-long interns, two other interns would be joining us while we would be away.

When I finally arrived at our new place, I was introduced to the two new interns we had. The one that matters here...stunning. She's a HB9 IMO. :up: The first day, I got to know HB9 (AND the other intern too), they're cool and we got along well. I thought it was convenient that we were in the same car when we had to carpool to nearby places and when we were at the same table at a restaurant, but I didn't see anything unique about that. I did get her number, but our whole department has each other's numbers (it's a must).

Well, one of my bosses takes me and the three year-long interns out for a drink (not HB9 or the other new intern). My boss opens up the get-together with..."TCK I saw you hitting on HB9 today." The two girl interns who were there said they could see that. Of course, I played it off as if I didn't know what they were talking about - "she's cool, we just talked today, nothing wrong with that." I thought this was only playful banter to open the trip. Nope.

A couple days later, I started sensing that something was up. We kept ending up in the same places, I'm pretty sure I was there first lol. The two other girl interns began to try to get me to say I "like" HB9 (this won't happen...I usually change the topic or just tell them this questioning won't lead to anything). My boss (who called me out the other day) began pairing her and I up on assignments or small projects. But wait - there's more!

At one of our daily end-of-the-day wrapup meetings a few days ago, a couple of my bosses (I have 4) openly said that they "can see HB9 and I 'work.'" Not only that, but a couple other people in other departments have said the same thing! :nervous: Each day, we all have to help the athletes get to certain places. Every time, HB9 comes to me saying she "needs help" finding the players she's assigned to (they're wearing their uniforms). If I'm tied up for a couple minutes, she will wait until I'm finished and then we walk back. I've seen her look at me for w/e reason and show a little smile from time to time. She also told me to, "stop looking at her that way"...when I barely glanced at her! :confused: She was gone by the time she said that, the other guy I was with had no idea what she was referring to since he and I had been talking. A friend of mine things she'd say that as a ploy or "test" to try and catch me off guard.

The biggest intriguing sign though is the "date" my boss set us up on. She needed some items from the local Wal-Mart and told her and I to drive there and get the supplies. When I park, some random woman claims I ran a stop sign and almost hit her (I stopped at the sign, and she wasn't anywhere close). I took my big boss's advice and just walked away to avoid a fight (he stressed to us not to get into arguments or fights with anybody, take the high road, move on from things, etc.). HB9 starts firing back at the woman - defending me - until she saw I was still walking and followed me lol.

Of course, there are some mixed signals. She'll either be right by me, or she'll be way off on the other side. Sometimes she'll talk a lot, other times I get the two-word answers. Sometimes, she's smiling at me. Other times, she looks in the opposite direction. There are also some obstacles. First, we work in the same place! We have very long hours, meaning we're around each other a lot. It also means that there isn't much time to hang out. Second, I am deathly afraid of things not working out and it affecting my job security since we're at the same place. My bosses haven't said anything to me about it, but at the same time, nothing serious has happened. Thirdly, she's seen my highs (things I do real well, I have some good C+F) and my lows (I'm pretty smart with stuff, but can be a little clueless on basic things - she's like this too. I also think out loud a bit).

I know it was a long post, but my mind is in a pretzel. I don't know what I'm supposed to do or even how to go about ANYTHING here. So far, I've been taking it very slowly , I can't use much kino or my bosses will detect something is up. Do you guys have any advice? I am not great at reading signs with girls, for all I know she's just playing games or just being nice since we work together. At the same time, she's a fun person, we have a lot in common, and...HB9. :crackup:
 
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"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

Read more...

The Comeback Kid

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While I know the post is a bit long, I was hoping that if I wrote down everything on my mind regarding this situation, maybe I'd run into my own answer in the post (which happens every once in a while)...not this time.

In almost any other scenario - if I were at school, if I met this girl when we I was out on the town - I'd have made a move by now. However, not only do we intern at the same place (which puts things in the "pen in the company ink" territory...but we work in the same department)!

I am truly stumped. I really don't know an answer to this one.
 

scrouds

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Its an internship, so I'd treat it differently then a real job. This is a job with an expiration date. Against my usual advice to not shiit where you sleep, I say go for it.

Escalate, Isolate (or reverse since this is at work) and close. There is no waiting, if you wait, you're gonna have a great friend on your hands.

If you're ever going to hit it, you gotta do it now. Otherwise just write it off.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

Read more...

The Comeback Kid

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Thanks for the thoughts so far. As you can see, it's not easy. Today only made things even more interesting:

-We drive little golf carts around to get to places since where we work covers a couple different areas. She drove me to a place I needed to go, though made it fun...she pretended she was about to hit a sign in the middle in the road, pretended to stop in the middle of the route, and was driving in the wrong lane for a little bit, laughing the entire time. Later on, she came to pick me up and said that "I'm lucky because she didn't forget about me" with a smile. There are four other people who COULD have picked me up, I guess this was convenient. Earlier in the day, I had picked her up, she said I drive funny, so I began swerving the cart to bust on her.

-One of my more outspoken bosses was ragging on HB9 for something. Somewhere in there, he blurts out, "The reason you're laughing at TCK's joke is because you like him so much!" I don't think she'd have told anyone anything, and I was thinking, "Could it be...?"

-When dealing with the players, as I mentioned before, I'm the man for knowing who is who once their uniforms are off (I know the guys well enough I can recognize them). It seems everyday, HB9 comes over either to stand by me/hang or ask me who a certain player is.

-Towards the end of each day, I write up a little report to recap things from the day. It's pretty easy to do, just a little repetitive. HB9 decides she wants to learn how to do this. She comes over to where I am, we were sitting real close to one another (our legs could touch). The "teaching" can take 5 mins, she stayed the whole 30 mins. My co-interns later told me they noticed the closeness of where we were sitting and that they saw flirting and giggling.

Tonight, the other interns and I (HB9 wasn't around) ate dinner. The first topic was "TCK and HB9." They're convinced I "like" her, even though I will never actually say anything about it. Later on, we headed to a bar where my supervisor/boss was, as well as HB9. HB9 hung out with a few girlfriends of her own, though we did talk for a little bit. My BOSS told me to go hit on her lol.

Tomorrow, two of us need to show up to work a little bit earlier than the rest. I have to go in because the three other full-time interns had gone in for other things earlier in the week so it was my turn. I also convinced HB9 that my boss said she had to go in as well (this is somewhat of a lie). Should be interesting.

As I mentioned before, working in the same department is the big obstacle. If I screw up, it could affect my day-to-day activities at work and make things awkward. On the other hand, my bosses keep mentioning "TCK & HB9," for whatever reason the other interns are into it too, and everyone is saying I have it.
I would think that this ragging...including the remarks from my superiors...would not be happening if only one of us liked the other, but I could be wrong. In the past, I've taken too many little things as signs of interest and got burned. Not sure what to make of the things I've mentioned.
 

King Turi

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Go for it, if it screws up who cares, it's temporary.

I don't get what you're hesitant about.
 

The Comeback Kid

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King Turi said:
Go for it, if it screws up who cares, it's temporary.

I don't get what you're hesitant about.
It is temporary, you're right. However, I don't want my last 2+ weeks at my internship to be a living nightmare either, where things are significantly tougher than they need to be. That would be what I am hesitant about.

If things are going well though, I could try to bring her out somewhere, not really sure what spot though. I'll have to figure that out. I wouldn't want to go straight into some big date, a gradual transition of sorts I feel works best here.
 

zekko

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Teflon_Mcgee said:
Build attraction but don't do $hit until the last week?
The only problem I see with this is that if you wait too long she might get bored with you and move on. She might decide you don't have the guts to initiate anything. If she's an HB9 like you see other options will likely pop up for her.

By the way, two weeks is nothing. If things mess up and you only have to get through two more weeks, that's not very long at all. Also, your bosses don't seem to care if you two get cozy, so I don't see that as an obstacle.
 

scrouds

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ok, I'm done being nice.

Read your posts. Read them again. Read them one more time. Take your name out, put someone else's name in there and read again.

Its as obvious as a freight train. She wants you. She wants you now. she's totally in to you. Feel free to be bold and skip the usual first date stuff and go to the seal the deal date stuff. Movie at your place, hopefully you'll be able to watch 1/2 of it ;)

Isolate her somewhere, anywhere. I don't care if its at the moves, coffee place, your couch or a broom closet at work.

Then after you seal the deal, go hi-5 your boss.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

Read more...

The Comeback Kid

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scrouds said:
ok, I'm done being nice.

Read your posts. Read them again. Read them one more time. Take your name out, put someone else's name in there and read again.

Its as obvious as a freight train. She wants you. She wants you now. she's totally in to you. Feel free to be bold and skip the usual first date stuff and go to the seal the deal date stuff. Movie at your place, hopefully you'll be able to watch 1/2 of it ;)

Isolate her somewhere, anywhere. I don't care if its at the moves, coffee place, your couch or a broom closet at work.

Then after you seal the deal, go hi-5 your boss.
hahaha I'm starting to think you're right here. :yes: There has to be something here in terms of mutual attraction, even if it's just a little. I also believe my co-workers know something that I don't about this (they're always smirking lol).

Today was pretty decent. As I expected, she wasn't happy about having to come in early (I was ok about it since it wasn't TOO early). I'm kinda the one who made up a story about why she had to come in early with me, but she was mad at the other people, not me. I told her I was the one responsible and I won't pull those shenanigans again (she prefers the blunt truth), but wasn't upset with me at all.

We had some laughs during the day too. When our department went to lunch, I had to sit in the trunk (we were in a van) since there were too many people. She decides to wave at me in the trunk instead of open it...twice. Later on, we had to drive the golf carts somewhere. Of course she immediately tries to hit me with the cart (I kicked it and pretended I was hurt), then later tries to race me to the elevator. When we were leaving with another guy we know, she tried to interrupt me on purpose because she likes seeing my reaction lol..

Basically, I think I'd have a good shot here. We work very long hours (I'm talking 12-14 hrs a day), so the timing is limited outside of work. Regardless, I could ask her to hang out at a bar or even bowling or something like that. I'm going to try to do it gradually, I feel rushing things could lead to trouble, but who knows.
 

Jblitz59

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i feel like you are making this more delicate then it is. Why walk on eggshells when your actually walking on a stone foundation.

What I mean is: Her interest is SO much you can make some errors and she will be so distracted with liking you it will go right by.

SO go ahead have fun with her, KINO. you worry that others will notice but who gives a **** as long as you aren't sexually harrassing her. enjoy urself
 

Prodigy746

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zekko said:
The only problem I see with this is that if you wait too long she might get bored with you and move on. She might decide you don't have the guts to initiate anything. If she's an HB9 like you see other options will likely pop up for her.

By the way, two weeks is nothing. If things mess up and you only have to get through two more weeks, that's not very long at all. Also, your bosses don't seem to care if you two get cozy, so I don't see that as an obstacle.
Thats exactly what i am worried about too, as i have first hand experience with it lol. The longer you ask wait to ask the girl out the bigger the chance she will say no IMO.

From what i read ... she is definitely into you. It seems like everyone else sees it too. I say you should just ask her to hangout after work next time your are riding together in a cart. If she refuses than chances are she isnt into you and it will not be ackword for the rest of the 2 weeks.

If you dont ask soon you might have to post in this thread
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?p=1597099#post1597099
and trust me thats never a good feeling :)
 

The Comeback Kid

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Thanks for the advice guys. I think I've hit my tolerance point with this situation. What do I mean?

I'm sick of my co-workers talking about it. Two placed a $20 bet today on if I land the date or not. The one who wants me to succeed tried to get her excited about bowling (didn't mention me though, and this guy is married and 50, so he's not pursuing), since he knows that's where the date would be. Another said I'm a b!tch, a few others are giving me sh!t too. They're all bringing it up all the time. It's annoying. It's like high school.

Tomorrow, I'm on the warpath. I'm going to (professionally) tell anyone who brings up the topic to STFU (unless it's my boss lol) and let me do this my way. HB9 is not a morning person, but is very upbeat and perky in the afternoon. I will come forward with my asking her out tomorrow afternoon ideally, if not then the morning will have to do.

Come he!! or high water, I will make a go for it. If she says yes, we're on. If she says no, I'll be a little unhappy inside, but I know I can handle anything that comes up for the next two weeks. Additionally, I'll respect myself for having the courage to go up and ask her to a date.

P.S. Today was just kinda weird and set me off. In the morning, she barely talked and getting a conversation out was very tough. During the afternoon, I'm doing my thing. We're talking and doing things together and sharing laughs and all that. At dinner she said, "You don't have to be nice around me," I really don't know what that means, but w/e, it's no big deal (I think). Interesting day to say the least.
 

Young Juan

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The Comeback Kid said:
....
P.S. Today was just kinda weird and set me off. In the morning, she barely talked and getting a conversation out was very tough. During the afternoon, I'm doing my thing. We're talking and doing things together and sharing laughs and all that. At dinner she said, "You don't have to be nice around me," I really don't know what that means, but w/e, it's no big deal (I think). Interesting day to say the least.

Looks like u may already be on a downswing...
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

Prodigy746

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what happend you better not have chickend out lol... i am curious :)
 

zekko

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Okay, it's been several days, come on, what's going on, don't leave us hanging. If it's something bad, it's okay, get it off your chest.
 

The Comeback Kid

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haha nice to see you guys are still interested. I was going to post here anyways because I think I'm starting to pick away at this situation.

Did I ask her out yet? Subtly, yes (I didn't say, 'Do you want to go out with me' or anything like that). I suggested we go bowling at a nearby bowling alley. The problem here is that we really don't have much time to do anything (she seems up for it, but finding a time to do it is proving to be difficult). We work very long hours EVERYDAY (figure 12 hrs/day) and after this internship ends in just over a week, I'm not living close to her - our schools are 4-5 hours apart and our houses are 2 hours apart.

As for the "is she interested" part of this thread, I was correct in believing things were not as simple as they appeared. It took a couple drinks when we went to a local bar, but she basically said she's doing sh!t tests. Somehow I didn't notice any of her earlier sh!t tests, which is probably a good thing since I act myself all the time around her for better or for worse. However, it looks like we've moved on to Stage 2 of the games.

Today, she's openly telling one of my bosses and a couple of us about a guy she has "hung out with" a few times before she started working with us - but she says she doesn't like the guy enough for them to date. After my boss repeatedly asked what "hanging out" means, he and I assumed it meant friends with benefits. My boss then says to me, "That's why you don't date your co-workers (half-jokingly)." She says, 'I agree (also half-jokingly...I think)." Before she finished that sentence, I PLAYFULLY flung a paper ball halfway across the room that hit her square in the head and chuckled. She wasn't mad at all.

Less than 15 mins later, we get another twist. Another boss of mine is asking how I got my hair color, since both my parents have brown hair and I don't. After we got through that topic, the girl says, "Well I guess my kids are going to have (TCK's color) hair color too." She then is staring and smirking at me for a good 5-10 seconds.

The rest of the day consisted of a lot of on-and-off stuff. She's either be hanging out with me for awhile, or she'd be talking to some other guy right in front of me OR she'll just walk to the other side of the room and stay there for the heck of it. In all of these situations (including the two earlier in this post), I don't make much of a reaction - I'm very, very calm and won't show my hand during one of these sh!t tests.

Overall, I'm not really sure what direction to take next. I like to bust on her when she does something silly, and she likes to bust on me as well - actually she busts on me a good bit. I can't engage in as much kino as I'd like because one of my bosses will always be around and will bust me for doing something like that (since they think I "like" her). I can get a little in, like our legs will touch for awhile if she comes over and sits next to me when she needs help with something. If she didn't want anything to do with me, she wouldn't be around much at all, but she'll hang around a bit when we're doing something. She's definitely a flirt and some co-workers think she's "easy." Therefore, I'm not sure if she's only using me for attention or if there's something to it.

I don't think there's enough time for a relationship to bloom, but I could maybe get a one-time thing out of it? I'm much better at trying to get dates (I'm "ok") then trying to get a ONS (not real experienced going for these), but I could say 'I won't really be able to see her again once we part ways...' and see where that leads.

What do you guys think?
 

HolyG

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Step 1 - Isolate

Step 2 - Kiss her

Stop over analyzing like we're your girlfriends. Go Kiss her. now.
She's looking for a guy with a ****. Go prove to her you have one, before she moves on.

Girls forgive the guy who's too forward. But never the one who pussies out.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

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