Energy

[asianbboy]

I feel I've reached a point in my development where I can get in the flow, so to speak. There are probably a lot of people here who know what I am talking about. Those times when you are completely relaxed, able to shrug off negativity and enjoy yourself. And the girls easily come when you're in that state.
And then about half of the time I don't feel like that at all. I feel like the energy is getting sucked out of me in social situations. I get offended very easily and become depressed when a girl doesn't seem completely invested. In these situations I feel trapped by fear.
This is why I don't have trouble picking up girls at parties but I have difficulty getting into long-term relationships and relationships with girls at school. It's like one day I'll be on fire and the next I feel like ****.
The Power of Now explains that these feelings come from a surfacing of the pain-body, identification with the ego and the triumph of past and future over the Now. The solution presented, however, is vague and I have trouble applying it. The solution is basically to stop thinking about past and future and to separate yourself mentally from your mind. Needless to say it's easier said than done. What has helped you guys in eliminating this fear?

 

[didirectors]

I dont recomend this in high school, just because you want to make sure you have it down before trying it to there but you see a girl go up and chat no matter what, An even better way is to make a complete fool of yourself on perpouse. And Just always to remember to move on to the next girl it takes a few trys like 5 or 6 times before you dont really care if a girl rejects you in a social setting or not. Hey after all its there loss right?

 

[Skyline]

I understand what you're talking about. Been there done that, minus the getting depressed when rejected part. Its all really about comfort and you're right about your ego standing in the way.

"There is no enemy outside of ones perception of oneself."

Thats a quote from a movie about your ego being that imaginary enemy. Everytime i got scared or nervous i just ran that quote through my head. Thinking this quote along with talking with random strangers, just a hey hello whats up type of thing, helped me out of that comfort zone. Cold approaching did aswell. And so did reading aloud.

Cold approaching really speaks for itself. It is nerve racking i agree but its about stepping outside your zone. The results are irrelevant. Same goes for greeting people and asking just whats up. Reading aloud actually helps me with voice projection and me not stuttering. Once you step outside your comfort zone it just feels so good with your heart racing and knowing you did something your ego was preventing you from doing.

If it makes you nervous, do it! And remeber that results are IRRELEVANT. This is for YOU to improve.

 

[Watawata]

bro just keep aproaching and goig out. Everyone has this sometimes. Sometimes youre in state, because you have momentum, sometimes not. It happens to me so frequently. Just accept your in a not so good mood