Ending Relationship For "Irrational" Reason

[Sofomore]

To some this may sound crazy but I feel the need to express my thoughts about my FB relationship. I have a problem of expressing how I feel towards our relationship. I am the kind of guy who will spin multiple plates and choose the best, only to get carried away with that one plate. I have been fvcking my neighbor for 4 months and I am at the point where I need some sort of commitment OR I need to move on without being infatuated in this one girl. We have sex without birth-control and its very naiive of both of us to think that we're not going to catch something sooner or later.

To me, there is no REAL reason why this should end, but I have a feeling I can't deal with feeling emotional for someone while single. Make sense?

 

[sodbuster]

Unless you want to knock her up,put a helmet on that soldier! So, date her if you want to-spinning plates is meant to sort out women to find a good one. NOT spin plates for life. Eventually the circus act ends. I didn't say marriage[unless kids are your goal],but dating.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Having a FB who's your neighbor is ALMOST like fuvkin' a girl that you kinda sorta live with..... okay not really, but the point I'm making is its never a good idea because one person will start to get emotional for the other and THEN jealousy and all the accompanying emotions will ensue......

You need to cut bait on her because it WILL drive you insane when she starts having other guys over....whether they're guys she's interested in or not.



Also for the love of god..... change your username to the correct spelling..... I know this isn't a english class but it'll help people take you more seriously......haha




PIMP

 

[Sofomore]

Ok I am going to change my user name. As for cutting the bait on her it seems pretty hard to all of the sudden stop talking to her/answering her calls/see her, since she is so close and pretty woven into my social circle. Also, I guess as a personal problem I have a hard time ditching girls for no other girl.

Think I should continue to see her while getting some plates ready?

I feel that my inner game is not strong enough to where 2-3 weeks with no sex would make me think constantly about her.

 

[DJuan]

Changed username to this. I will be replying using this one from now on.

 

[AMDG]

We have sex without birth-control

Are you into time bombs ?

 

[bukowski_merit]

It is almost IMPOSSIBLE to have sex with one partner over a long period of time and not end up wanting to be with them (blame it on the "oxytocin" which can lead to feelings of love/attachment which can lead to oneitis).

To answer your question on which to do - i believe your best bet is to say something like this RIGHT AFTER SOME GREAT SEX: "listen. i don't think we can do this much longer like this. feelings are going to get involved deeper and deeper. we need to go in one way or the other" - - - she should know what that means but if she asks just explain - "either we get into a more serious relationship or we end this".


NOW, her response will tell you a lot. Theoretically - if she won't agree then something is up. Either, there's another man in her life who has the chemicals in her body going off more than you (an ex she still holds on to the hope of reuniting with; a new guy that she may or may not have slept with, etc). Or maybe she's just a head case. (see: molested as a child and/or been in abusive relationships and doesn't feel worthy of being in any kind of relationship other than a sexual one)


If she agrees to go further with the relationship; and she should after months of unprotected sex. Then you have your answer.


I suggest you do this after sex because good sex is like a truth serum. I've had many "info finding" conversations with women during or after sex, and i believe their truth is the most unfiltered at those points.

good luck

 

[DJuan]

It is almost IMPOSSIBLE to have sex with one partner over a long period of time and not end up wanting to be with them (blame it on the "oxytocin" which can lead to feelings of love/attachment which can lead to oneitis).

To answer your question on which to do - i believe your best bet is to say something like this RIGHT AFTER SOME GREAT SEX: "listen. i don't think we can do this much longer like this. feelings are going to get involved deeper and deeper. we need to go in one way or the other" - - - she should know what that means but if she asks just explain - "either we get into a more serious relationship or we end this".


NOW, her response will tell you a lot. Theoretically - if she won't agree then something is up. Either, there's another man in her life who has the chemicals in her body going off more than you (an ex she still holds on to the hope of reuniting with; a new guy that she may or may not have slept with, etc). Or maybe she's just a head case. (see: molested as a child and/or been in abusive relationships and doesn't feel worthy of being in any kind of relationship other than a sexual one)


If she agrees to go further with the relationship; and she should after months of unprotected sex. Then you have your answer.


I suggest you do this after sex because good sex is like a truth serum. I've had many "info finding" conversations with women during or after sex, and i believe their truth is the most unfiltered at those points.

good luck

Thank you for such a helpful response. I feel that this is a great idea. My only concern is that I will botch it up and say something that makes me look weak. Another thing, since we are in college we end up having sex drunk a good amount. Should I wait to drop this on her when we are both completely sober? Yes seems like the logical answer haha.

I really appreciate it bukowski. + rep if i can figure out how to use it

 

[bukowski_merit]

Another thing, since we are in college we end up having sex drunk a good amount. Should I wait to drop this on her when we are both completely sober?

Nope; don't wait. You're not going to get filtered female logic if you do it after sex and after drinking. You're going to get unfiltered truth (pure emotion). And what i have described is not really the most alpha way to do it, but it is the best way to find out where you stand with her without much BS.

If you've both been drinking and had some great sex - she'll be at her most vulnerable to revealing her true emotions. If she hesitates to jump all in with you while being in such a great state - then you can forget about it.

Try to avoid saying anything like, "i think we should be together". Try to present it as "we need to"... don't ask questions... just say "i've been thinking about".... she should reveal herself without you saying much...

best of luck

 

[DJuan]

Still haven't done this yet. I am starting to become AFC over this sh*t.

This weekend I am going on a cabin trip without her. Meaning there are lots of girls that want good sex. I am also DJing so I know girls will want me.

I want to do this before this weekend but can never bring myself to do it. I have to clear up if we are exclusive or not, but dont want to blow my cover that this weekend I will either have a girlfriend (her) or will get laid and have multiple partners.

To be honest I am ready for a girlfriend.