Ending it.

[BADA-BING]

Hey,

Long story short.....

So I have recently been dumped by my girl. The relationship overall was great and lasted 1 1/2 years. Of course there were arguments and so on but it was the last month that we grew distant and she ended things. She moved out of my house and got an apartment.

The reason she grew distant was because of another guy she met. Her relationship with him grew into 1.5 hr conversations and constant texting....etc you get the picture. Her reason for breaking up was that she needed time and space...blah blah blah.....She swears up and down that they are just friends and that nothing is going on, she never did anything wrong.

We ended things without fighting and arguing and we are still civil with each other when we talk. She from time to time wants to hang out basically when nothing else better is going on. Her actions don't match her words. She gives me false hopes of getting back together in the future and "we just need time". Then the next sentence is "you should go out and date other people to see if were right for each other."

I fear I have become the "fall back guy"...she is just keeping me around so that when things go sour with someone else she will come crawling back to me.

I don't want to do this anymore. I can't ..its playing hell with my emotions. I'm still very much emotionally attached to her. I was really serious about this girl and I have a bad case of "oneitis".

How do I end it while maintaining my dignity? What do I do to move on? What do I say? I'm at a loss for words with her.......

Thanks in advance for the input........

 

[jophil28]

Try this ( I did this and it worked OK)
Text her- " I have met another lady .She is available and single."
I had indeed met another 'lady' (but it turned out to be a 'false alarm')
Your first lady will -

a. Either wish you all the best "I am happy for you" This is just her way of covering up the anger she is feeling .She may then try to get back with you.
She is playing two guys because she 'can'.

b. Call you and get all 'emotional' and tell you how she really loves you/ misses you/ is reading your emails and crying -"They are so beautiful --etc. "
The usual chic swill -emotional manipulation.This is her way of testing you and trying to burrow her way back in to your heart .

DO NOT BE NICE TO HER. Tell Her that you need some space -etc . Take the power position back. Let her try to convince you that you should take her back.
I made the mistake of taking her back too easily and dumping the other chickand then it all happened oll over AGAIN. .Keep them both in your life and MAKE your original girlfriend SWEAT for weeks . She will never look at another guy ever again !
Good hunting !

 

[Bourne]

Where are you from? What state?

Anyway, its over. Move on. Please for gods sake do not contact her. Don't do what the guy above me says.

Its time for you to bite the bullet, and deal with the break up. Friends help alot. Get with them. Do not call her, do not mop around by yourself. It will be very hard. Honestly, it will be one of the most toughest times of your life, brace yourself. Because it will get worse before it gets better, but for all sake do not get back with her. She only had one chance with you and its time to move on.

Some things may help you:
- Don't sit around by yourself
- Exersice
- Don't get involved with anyone
- Cry if you need to, don't hold back. It will catch up with you. Don't hold back on your emotions. But do it by yourself.
- Start on self-impovment. Do what you want to do and make yourself into a better man.
- Do not contact her. Did I mention that yet?

IM me if you need more sh1t. I've been through a couple of tough breakups. I know how hard it can be.

 

[insanity]

if there is anything i have learned through observation, is that when you get dumped by the girl chances are there is a guy in the backround who helped her reach her decision. maybe he flirted with her everyday and eventually she started thinking about him.

95% of girls hate being single. ever notice alot of the time a girl will dump her last boyfriend and be with someone new in a week or two and if it doesn't quite work out, she calls you back and spews how much she misses you and gives you false hope that this is going to work out this time. chances are if you haven't had any girls giving you any offers, you'll go right back to her out of desperation.

there was this couple that lived beside me for the whole year and just recently she dumped her boyfriend. i always heard her cranking that song by rhianna unfaithful because she was cheating on him with another guy and the song was her anthem. even though she dumped her boyfriend for the guy she was cheating on with. the guy was just using her for sex and in the end she ended up single because the other guy didn't want a relationship. every now and again i see her ex showing up late at night for a quick romp with love still in his eyes. but through the week she is seeing other potential boyfriends and he is just the fallback guy. i feel like telling him to move on but everybody has to learn on their own sometimes.

i say walk my friend and don't look back or even answer the phone. break-ups happen because you weren't compatible and things will never be like they were when you first met. good luck

 

[JoeBlack]

Bear in mind, you will only be the fall back guy if you make yourself available to be one.

Whilst it might be the hardest thing to do, the best thing you can do for you and actually its probably the best thing you can do to get her back (although you really should not think about this) is to quickly start getting your life back in shape. Meet new people, date new girls and start to have some fun.

You'll soon forget about her when you have some fun with other girls and if she ever does realise she made a mistake? You'll be in the best position you could be and actually may not even want her back.

 

[realsmoothie]

Dude...GET THE HELL OUT. TRUST ME.

It will ALL be better once you've seperated yourself from this chick.

Find another one.

 

[joekerr31]

how much respect would you have for a woman that you broke up with while you were sleeping with another woman. then when things went sour with the new woman, you call up your old woman to see if she wants to have sex.

how much respect would you have for her if she came running over?

ill tell ya how much... none.

you're the fall back guy because you've made yourself the fall back guy by not respecting yourself enough to NOT let yourself be treated this way.

you have failed to follow the number one rule: YOU ARE THE PRIZE.