Ending by Ignoring

[Luthor Rex]

I don't think what you did benefited you besides venting, but I think it probably will be beneficial for the next guy. I don't see it as you validated her. If every guy called women out on their sh!t, women would stop doing this kind of stuff. We men are collectively enablers.

I agree: social censure will stop this kind of crap.

 

[ketostix]

I agree: social censure will stop this kind of crap.

Yeah for example if men always called women out on flaking, basically providing a negative feedback reinforcer, women would stop that flaking sh1t. As it stands almost nothing a woman does gives her negative consequence. That's not going to happen though so for practicle reasons it doesn't benefit a guy personally for calling a woman out. But it doesn't really hurt him either as he's burning a bridge that isn't there anyway.

 

[Mr.Positive]

Yeah for example if men always called women out on flaking, basically providing a negative feedback reinforcer, women would stop that flaking sh1t. As it stands almost nothing a woman does gives her negative consequence. That's not going to happen though so for practicle reasons it doesn't benefit a guy personally for calling a woman out. But it doesn't really hurt him either as he's burning a bridge that isn't there anyway.

Keto, the chances of this sinking in is next to nothing though..

You just sound bitter to her by calling her out, and this just reinforces her decision of ignoring you to begin with. She will just tell herself "I knew he was creepy...and he has an anger problem too"

It's a lose-lose situation that wastes your energy..negative energy too. Focus on the people who add something to your life, that appreciate you!

 

[ketostix]

Keto, the chances of this sinking in is next to nothing though..

You just sound bitter to her by calling her out, and this just reinforces her decision of ignoring you to begin with. She will just tell herself "I knew he was creepy...and he has an anger problem too"

It's a lose-lose situation that wastes your energy..negative energy too. Focus on the people who add something to your life, that appreciate you!

Well I'm not disagreeing with you on a practical level. I'm just saying in the big picture men are letting women go hog wild. Women sure no how to stick together as a gender and they call men out any time they please.

 

[Luthor Rex]

Well I'm not disagreeing with you on a practical level. I'm just saying in the big picture men are letting women go hog wild. Women sure no how to stick together as a gender and they call men out any time they please.

I suppose another tactic would be for men to withdraw their love from women. Again, not sure how well that would work on a societal level because women would continue to blame men for everything.

I guess we need to learn to 'speak their language'. If you noticed on that thread Purple Haze started, Lovely Lady made some posts that basically said the same things the men did but in such a way that Purple Haze 'got it' and admitted she was playing games etc.

Now if a MAN could do the same thing and say things in such a way to penetrate a woman's mind and make her 'get it' then we may have some results. Words seem to have different meaning for women than they do for men. It's not something I understand very well, but Pook talks about it in one of his posts about that book "the Manipulated Man" and how the the author (a woman) spoke in man-speak so that we 'got it' loud and clear. The same thing goes for women: when men talk to them I don't think they really understand what we are saying to them.

 

[Purple-Haze]

I suppose another tactic would be for men to withdraw their love from women. Again, not sure how well that would work on a societal level because women would continue to blame men for everything.

I guess we need to learn to 'speak their language'. If you noticed on that thread Purple Haze started, Lovely Lady made some posts that basically said the same things the men did but in such a way that Purple Haze 'got it' and admitted she was playing games etc.

Now if a MAN could do the same thing and say things in such a way to penetrate a woman's mind and make her 'get it' then we may have some results. Words seem to have different meaning for women than they do for men. It's not something I understand very well, but Pook talks about it in one of his posts about that book "the Manipulated Man" and how the the author (a woman) spoke in man-speak so that we 'got it' loud and clear. The same thing goes for women: when men talk to them I don't think they really understand what we are saying to them.

While I related to Lady's posts on one level, I also agreed with the male posters.

However, I do agree that sometimes, it's a matter of words and ways of communicating (which, I believe, is at the crux of the male-female anxiety).

 

[ketostix]

I suppose another tactic would be for men to withdraw their love from women. Again, not sure how well that would work on a societal level because women would continue to blame men for everything.

I guess we need to learn to 'speak their language'. If you noticed on that thread Purple Haze started, Lovely Lady made some posts that basically said the same things the men did but in such a way that Purple Haze 'got it' and admitted she was playing games etc.

Now if a MAN could do the same thing and say things in such a way to penetrate a woman's mind and make her 'get it' then we may have some results. Words seem to have different meaning for women than they do for men. It's not something I understand very well, but Pook talks about it in one of his posts about that book "the Manipulated Man" and how the the author (a woman) spoke in man-speak so that we 'got it' loud and clear. The same thing goes for women: when men talk to them I don't think they really understand what we are saying to them.

This is a good point and is along the lines of Rollo's explaination of men being overt communicators vs. women being covert. But the real issue isn't so much a problem with communication in regards to flaking and going silent. Unless you just want to consider those proper ways for a female to covertly communicate the message she's not interested.

The real problem is that women rarely take responsibility for how their actions or covert communication is harmful to men. It's a very inefficient way to communicate you're not interested by ignoring someone, sending mixed signals etc. compared to overtly just stating "I'm not interested" and meaning it. It's a bigger problem than of women just being covert, it's women saying one thing and doing another and just flat not meaning what they overtly say. If a man did this to a man or woman she would conclude he is a liar. Why is the standard different for women?

They use this intentionally or unintentially to manipulate men to do their bidding. Most women see nothing wrong with this and they never take responsibility, always blaming the man. If women don't want to be responsive to men's overt communication then why should we men respond to their covert communication?

 

[Centaurion]

Can someone remind me why this is such a bad thing? I know it can hurt the other person pretty bad if they don't take the hint well. But is that my problem?

If I was dating someone and they did it to me, I would get the hint. That's my logic on this.

I've heard people say it's a weak cop-out, but I don't understand why. Since when are other people's feelings our responsibility?

If I'm a jerk for this I'd like to know why please =)

It's not a bad thing. As stated earlier, chicks communicate covertly, while men prefer to do it overtly. But from my own experience, nothing fvcks more with a chicks head if a man starts to communicate covertly. I've ended a several relationships by ignoring the chick, same way as they would end relationships. It gives me a sadistic pleasure to turn their own game against them, and thoroughly fvck with their heads.

And every time I've started to ignore them, their interest level have reached new heights. The only thing you need to be careful about, is to not end too many relationships with ignoring, or do it within your own close social circle. I travel a lot, so I don't give a fvck if I'm stamped as an *******, as there are fresh hunting ground every couple of months.

 

[Luthor Rex]

This is a good point and is along the lines of Rollo's explaination of men being overt communicators vs. women being covert. But the real issue isn't so much a problem with communication in regards to flaking and going silent. Unless you just want to consider those proper ways for a female to covertly communicate the message she's not interested.

I meant for us to be able to let women know 'in their own language' that their actions are not acceptable.

The real problem is that women rarely take responsibility for how their actions or covert communication is harmful to men. It's a very inefficient way to communicate you're not interested by ignoring someone, sending mixed signals etc. compared to overtly just stating "I'm not interested" and meaning it. It's a bigger problem than of women just being covert, it's women saying one thing and doing another and just flat not meaning what they overtly say. If a man did this to a man or woman she would conclude he is a liar. Why is the standard different for women?

I don't hold women to a different standard, and I have concluded that most of them are liars. Which has branded me a misogynist in some circles. Oh well.

For things to change women need to be held to the same higher standards that men are held to.

They use this intentionally or unintentially to manipulate men to do their bidding. Most women see nothing wrong with this and they never take responsibility, always blaming the man. If women don't want to be responsive to men's overt communication then why should we men respond to their covert communication?

If men as a group make women's lives as uncomfortable as possible when they do this kind of crap, then they'll learn to cut that sh!t out. Or, gender relations will just get worse and women will continue to blame men until they put us in concentration camps. lol

 

[##17]

You know what I think sucks about women sometimes? The entitlement mentality that some of them seem to have. They seem to care about their own feelings and emotions about don't show respect to anyone elses'.

Now GUYS want to act this way? That's not cool. It says sad things about modern manhood, and about the human race in general.

 

[Mavrick]

It's a weak cop-out. Hands down. Be a man and tell the woman what's up.

 

[MotownMack]

I also think it depends on the relationship we're talking about, which does make a difference.

If we're talking about a few dates, I am not sure anyone is really owed an explanation.

If this is someone you've been seeing for a few months or something more serious is implied, then I agree it's weak. Especially if the girl is making attempts to contact you, and you're just refusing to return any and all calls.

If she tries once, and then fades out, then I don't think it's a big deal.

 

[Sir I]

It's a weak cop-out. Hands down. Be a man and tell the woman what's up.

Situation:

I've had this girl who I made out and messed around with for a month, I broke it off saying that it didn't feel right for me, I'm a bartender and she comes to club I work allmost every Friday certainly every Saturday. I ignored her even when she tried to get my attention or a response out of me by making out with others infront of me, throwing her cigarettes over the bar, letting her glass fall over the bar, jump in the middle of my conversations with other girls/customers when I was/am flirting. after the 2nd time I have told her that she as a customer that she should behave or I would take measures. she appologized the next day over msn. I made it clear that I do not have feelings in the way I had before for her and it went okay for a week, after that she did all of the previous even worse.. So I gave her a final warning she again interrupted me with my work (while flirting with another customer) I called a bouncer to kick her out.

now it's been a month since that incident and she tries to catch every moment to make a comment that is intended to humiliate me. She fails misserably as most of my female customers have taken notice of her and a decent amount allready have made remarks to her, varying from don't be a jealous ***** to you're one little pittifull girl. the good thing is she doesn't risk being kicked out again as it would mean an automatic ban from the club for three months.

now I keep ignoring her. as in reacting to her will feed her yearning for attention even more.

last saturday while at work I had to go to the toilets and she was in my way with her back turned towards me, so I pushed her aside gently with the palm of my hand on her back she turned around and started yelling at me, DO NOT TOUCH ME. I ignored it and carried on with my work.

as a bartender towards the end of the night you make your move, making out with a different girl every week while the club is packed is not the best thing to do, and this girl has seen me make out with a good amount of girls cause she allways waits till the last 15 minutes before the club closes cause that's the same time I made out with her for the first time.


imho there is no way in talking or speaking to a girl/woman when she is not sane. I have told her exactly what was going on and she will not listen or comprehend.

if you have one magical line to make her comprehend please be my guest!

While I aggree with you that when dealing with a sane person it is the coward way to just ignore and jump out. my personal experience tells me when dealing with an insane person there is no way of talking and ignoring is the only option left to carry on with your own life.

 

[thedeparted]

Face the fact that women are total hypocrites. You can hold them to your own standards if it makess you feel good. But you can't change them unless you are doing a DNA transplant.

Last Sat. I had a date planned. Friday at 11:30pm I got a call from her and let it go to VM. Clearly that was a ping to see what I was up to. In the VM she said I needed to call her back right now to confirm tom. or she won't be able to make it. Needless to say, I don't have to do shlt in this world, least of all for someone I've gone out with all of one time, so I did not return that call.

She calls me the next day on Sat. to ask what we are doing instead--and I said, I am doing my taxes, and you are doing whatever you want to do. She is then very sweet and says, okay, next Sat. then, she has tickets to a concert. I did not accept at that time and said I'd get back to her.

Today I got back to her and said sure I'd be happy to go, and suggested a couple other things to do beforehand. And she says sounds great, but this time, please tell her in advance if I'm gonna cancel.

>>>>What??? Time to rewind. Let's roll that tape again. SHE was the one who reversed course on the date last week. Not me. I was the one who did not jump through the new flaming hoop she laid down. That's it.

So I flat out asked her what she meant by that. And she got emotional and started telling me what an insensitive guy I am, bla bla bla. What she really meant was, "How dare you call me on my BS. You are obviously seeing other women on Friday night and I want you stuck on me like other AFC's. I am a big baby and can't handle it when a man ignores my tests and doesn't let me put a leash on him."

So I ended the call and will spend my Sat. with the next girl on the list. I recommend other guys take this approach, too. No need for you to get invested in their BS. Just keep your options open, your standards high, and when they serve you up a big fat bullshlt sandwhich, say no thanks, and move on.

 

[Warrior74]

What ever. I did this to my current FB. We were get along nice..but she would get drunk and act an ass. Then she tells me her ex boyfriend is out of jail and coming to stay. I just never called her back. 3 months go by and she sees me out and is all over me. And constantly asking why I didn't call. She's back on FB duty but I hardly ever call her. If I'm bored or not talking to another girl I might call her. If she wants my attention she can work for it. If it fades away...it fades away. She knows that I'm not gonna kiss her ass, and that I'll 'fill her space and forget her face" with the quickness.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

no counter offer no nothing . so i told her that juice wasnt worth the squeeze anymore and i was getting rid of her number. she told me haha ok whatever you want. i told her to go ****her self that she wasnt pretty enough to treat me like this. that sort of upset her. she told me to get over myself. i told her that i did nothing but show her a nice time and for her to just go cold after acting interested was bull**** and have a nice life.

Terrible. I had a girl pull the ignore on me recently, and like you I was p!ssed but the cardinal rule is never let them see you sweat. I knew what she was doing, and I simply messaged her "goodbye and good luck with everything".

I bet she'll be crawling back any day now.

 

[jophil28]

If every guy called women out on their sh!t, women would stop doing this kind of stuff. We men are collectively enablers.

Heck, if i called out every woman who acted badly, I would never get any work done let alone get any fishing in.
I agree with Keto's premise, however, in practise it has a poor chance of success because we are ultimately dealing with the "princess" mentality in women which says that "I am special and the rules therefore do not apply to me ."
How many of you guys have ever been successful in penetrating their bloated sense of self righteousness after they have f**ked up ?