Ending a LTR

[Davis]

I've been dating a girl for a little over 2 years now. I'm finding that I do care for her, but not the same way that I did 2 years ago. I feel like I've grown up a lot since we've been together and that it's time to move on. I'm 24 and I have a great job. She's still in college and I feel like we're in two different worlds.

The thing is, I've never broken up with someone I've dated this long before. She's always talking about marriage and how much she loves me. I just kind of laugh it off, but it really bothers me. How do I break it off without breaking her heart totally? Is that even possible?

 

[WC2]

I've been dating a girl for a little over 2 years now. I'm finding that I do care for her, but not the same way that I did 2 years ago. I feel like I've grown up a lot since we've been together and that it's time to move on. I'm 24 and I have a great job. She's still in college and I feel like we're in two different worlds.

The thing is, I've never broken up with someone I've dated this long before. She's always talking about marriage and how much she loves me. I just kind of laugh it off, but it really bothers me. How do I break it off without breaking her heart totally? Is that even possible?

How do you breakup without breaking her heart?

You don't.

Her heart is going to be broken any way you mouth it, say it, or show it. Women, unlike men, know that even if we say we just want a 'break', we really just want out.

You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders and you have things going for you. She however, is still in college and possibly still in her party stages. I think it's good that your taking initiative here to end things while you are still holding the power in the relationship.

It sucks that she's going to be hurt, but trust me, women get over relationships far quicker than do men.

If you're going to end the relationship, no turning back. No going back for sex, no going back because you feel bad for her.

It's unhealthy for not only her, but you.

Break it to her face to face as politely as you can and cut all ties afterwards. You think you may be doing her a favor by responding to her cries thereafter, but you're only hurting her more.

There's no easy way out of this one. Honesty is all you can give.

 

[On_the_Top]

You broke it

Now fix it

You have to be straight up and real with yourself

And you have to be real with her

Don't throw something away because you believe in a "grass is greener" pipe dream.

Don't stay in something simply because you have to or feel obligated (will just cause resentment and make you and anyone else miserable.)

It is all on you, and being honest with yourself. Can't have it both ways and you can't please everyone.

 

[Davis]

I know I need to man-up and just do it. Most of my anxiety is coming from the fact that she's extremely emotional (more emotional than any other woman I've dated) and I'm not the best at handling those situations. I usually end up defaulting.

I know I have to do it sooner or later. It's just a matter of doing it at the right place at the right time.

 

[GDOA]

I"ve been there. She sounds like one of those very sensitive women. Therefore you tell her with that in mind. You do have to tell her though. Do not put it off, if you prolong telling her the more it is going to tear you up inside. Yeah you are going to break her heart, there's no way of getting out of that. She will get over it and so will you. DO NOT and I repeat DO NOT try and get back together with her. You have to break all ties from her. That means no more emails, phone calls, casual meetings. Do not try to be friends with her afterwards either. No 'lets just be friends' zone. Good luck man, you can do it.

 

[Davis]

Thanks for the advice guys. I really appreciate it. I haven't been to this site in years and it's still a solid place for advice.

I do plan on telling her in the next few days. I've been distant for the past week and I think that she knows something is up.

I just can't see myself dating someone for this long if I don't feel like I can be with her forever.