Ended it after 15 months

[NSUballer]

Well I finally broke to her that I dont really see us together in the long run. I can honestly say it really sucks to hurt someone who you really care about. I have done it before a few times and it sucked then too. Theres just something heart wrenching about hearing a girl cry and say they love you, even when you just told them you dont truly love them back.

I am confident this is the right move. Its been too difficult since the beginning. Seems like almost nothing went smoothly. From deciding what movie to watch to deciding where I am gonna move at the end of the month for my new job.

The reality is we should have never even started dating. She came at me pretty much wide open. It was my last semester of college and she "accidentally" IM's me on facebook during the week of finals. I ask her out and fast forward 15 months and here we are.

Why wouldnt I want to date a hot girl who just basically let me win from the beginning. there was hardly any work involved although I did cook dinner and buy wine like once a week when we first started dating. She says thats what got her. And is shes telling the truth, it worked like a dream in my favor.

But I didnt really choose her. She picked me and I just kind of went with it. Now I know this is a fatal mistake. You have to pick each other. The dumbest part is that I knew that from the beginning. I really tried to make it work but in the end it just is not possible.

 

[NSUballer]

Now that thats out of the way. There is a follow up to this short story. Ive been thinking about this other girl who i have known for a while. I have known her for about 5 years now because she was friends with one of my friends girlfriend(now wife).

I recently saw her at my friends wedding about 2 months ago which i attended with my now ex gf. didnt talk to her her other than the standard Hey! how are you.

I ended up seeing her again about a month ago when we all went to a parade and I was with my gf again. She gave subtle signs of interest in me. I stayed away because it would not look good on me to try and initiate any convo with my gf around. At this point I was already planning my exit from that relationship.


My point is this girl always interested me. I asked her out years ago and she accepted and then ended up flaking. I'm pretty sure she flaked because I asked her to have lunch at the school cafeteria.. yea i know..

I am still interested in her after all this time and I think she may be interested in me as well but until tonite I had a gf who she was acquainted with. She showed positive body language towards me today and was making good conversation. The next challenge is how do I see her again?

 

[ThreeStorms]

Well I finally broke to her that I dont really see us together in the long run. I can honestly say it really sucks to hurt someone who you really care about. I have done it before a few times and it sucked then too. Theres just something heart wrenching about hearing a girl cry and say they love you, even when you just told them you dont truly love them back.

I am confident this is the right move. Its been too difficult since the beginning. Seems like almost nothing went smoothly. From deciding what movie to watch to deciding where I am gonna move at the end of the month for my new job.

The reality is we should have never even started dating. She came at me pretty much wide open. It was my last semester of college and she "accidentally" IM's me on facebook during the week of finals. I ask her out and fast forward 15 months and here we are.

Why wouldnt I want to date a hot girl who just basically let me win from the beginning. there was hardly any work involved although I did cook dinner and buy wine like once a week when we first started dating. She says thats what got her. And is shes telling the truth, it worked like a dream in my favor.

But I didnt really choose her. She picked me and I just kind of went with it. Now I know this is a fatal mistake. You have to pick each other. The dumbest part is that I knew that from the beginning. I really tried to make it work but in the end it just is not possible.

Holy Crap. I am in this exact same situation (but haven't made that step yet)
She loves me, I don't really do, even if I like her. Now I have a very hard time breaking her heart. Yeah, we shouldn't have come together at all, but, like in your case, it was just too easy from the beginning, and I fell into the trap of comfortness. Why work hard for another girl when I can have for free, basically. I have to admit that It was me who picked her up, and it took me a while to see that I could not really love her. By then, we already were a couple. Even if I don't love her, she is a pretty girl that others envy me for, and we do have a lot in common. So it's hard to see where the problem is. It may be my very bad infatuation with another girl (that was already taken), but I finally got over the fact that I cannot have this one.

Sorry to highjack your thread here, but would you try to make it work with my girl or just put an end to it?

BTW NSUballer, do you think your problem was the fact that she made it *too* easy for you? People want what they can't have right?

 

[Desdinova]

I had that problem with the last girl I dated. I was spinning plates and she asked me out. I had nothing to lose and said 'sure'. We had a lot of fun together, but I just wasn't all that attracted to her. She was telling me she loved me, but I never reciprocated.

I had to get rid of her when she started to become a pain in my ass. I didn't need that from a woman I wasn't highly attracted to, so I ended it. I'm glad I did it the day before an extremely business trip. I didn't have the time to even think about how I busted her heart. Once the week was over, I realized that I didn't even miss her.

 

[ThreeStorms]

Yeah, as soon as my girl would start be piss me off on a constant basis, my decision would be easy. But in fact, she actually worked on the things that bothered me in the beginning (some things you could call bad manners, but most related to her being a rather nervous and sometimes anxious person).
So, our relationship is a lot better than it was in the start. If I could only develop some true feelings for her, I would definitely stay with her, as she does have a lot going for her.

 

[ThreeStorms]

I had that problem with the last girl I dated. I was spinning plates and she asked me out. I had nothing to lose and said 'sure'. We had a lot of fun together, but I just wasn't all that attracted to her. She was telling me she loved me, but I never reciprocated.

Were you two dating exclusively then? How long did it last?

 

[Desdinova]

Were you two dating exclusively then? How long did it last?

After I ditched all the other women for being disrespectful or too low-quality, I stayed with her. We were together for 9 months.

 

[NSUballer]

I came to the conclusion a long time ago that when I lose interest almost completely, its time to split. In this case theres another girl I much rather pursue and beleive is a much better match. In other words, she has greater potential as a mate.

I realized I would rather break up with my current gf and pursue the possibility of something better.

My ex only made it easy in the beginning. Over time it got increasingly difficult to get along and have civil conversation.

 

[ThreeStorms]

Ok, so congratulations on dropping her! How exactly did you do it? How hard did she try to get you to change your mind?