Emotional?

[Cloud-uk]

Right, I'd like to deal with a topic that I don't believe has been directly pinpointed. And it needs to be.

I've just had a search through for it, and I found no single informative post on it. What I did find though was a lot of posts where people we're complaining about it.

The problem with it is there is a huge difference in people's experience of it. Everyone has them, and they are both what makes us pretty interesting creatures, and the greatest flaw of many of us.

Emotions. Try giving it a search. We have guys here, I think they know who they are, who scream an cry as (what they see as) their world crumbles down around them, and we have other guys who are able to stop their emotions from consuming them.

I'm going to stick my neck out on this one, but for the purposes of this post EMOTIONS ARE BAD . Now, this is a pretty strange thing to say, it sounds a lot like I'm telling guys here to surpress one of their most basic human characteristics.

What are emotions? Well, they're the result of chemicals that affect our minds. Much like adrenaline. Adrenaline makes us faster, it supresses pain. However, it makes you jittery. Adrenaline is great stuff to be fair, just the stuff you need if your being hunted down by an axe wielding maniac. But it can suck when your body gives you the "fight or flight" boost when you don't need it.Gone into an exam and become nervous, jittery, and finding it hard to concentrate? Thats cos your body got confused. It can be dealt with though, just like emotions.

So stop thinking of emotions as this great thing. "EMOTIONAL " isn't the reputation you want to have. Thing is, when you do something emotional, it always seems like a good idea at the time. That stupid b1tch in your class who's always crying about nothing isn't emotional when compared to you getting into a fight with someone because of something he said to you.

I'm going to say this to all you guys who have ever got into a fight because of a hit on your pride or reputation:

You did exactly the wrong thing.

You may have thought about that after, but then its too late. I'd like to say, when it comes to physical violence- there are two places where it is apropriate for you, as a DJ, to fight.

Stopping someone else from getting hurt
If someone commits an assault towards you (which can be verbal, if they say they're gonna kill you and step towards you, hit them and leave)

Now, if your one of those guys that gets the piss ripped out of them by your friends, the chances are they're just having a joke. Its not fun being the joke, unless you can laugh with it. I'm asuming you can take a joke with your buds. If you cant, then you need to learn to lighten up. Try smiling a bit more. And don't be so defencive. AN INSULT IS NOT ALWAYS A PERSONAL ATTACK. It can be totally innocent, and sometimes you will do something stupid. Like pull a minger at a party. We've all been there, and most other guys will have too. Don't sweat it, just have a laugh, cos it wont go on for ever. If you want it to go quicker, make jokes about yourself about it. Join in. Rip the piss out of yourself. "Yes! Further proof that I have NO STANDARDS!", there's no need to get all defencive about it. It'll come, and it'll go, just as long as you vent your emotion!

If your getting verbal abuse, you never raise your voice against them. For everyone, them is someone different. But in school everyone will have to deal with some sh1t. The thing is, they may be a 6 foot boxer with 50 friends, or some guy 3 years your junior. But you must control your emotions, and treat them all the same.

This is an important distinction, you must never surpress your emotions. You have to think about it analyticaly.

Its hard. For all you guys who get emotional quickly, because you think itmakes sence - (your "the man", no one gives **** to "the man") or you guys who need to do something when your "friends" gang up to take the piss outa you, you just have to learn to snap out of it.

This is why emotions are bad. They make you weak. They....aggrivate you, you become a pathetic creature, trapped within yourself. Have you had that buring feeling of anger, from getting insulted, for your rep being damaged, but you know there's nothing you can do about it?

The problem is your looking at it from the wrong angle. When your "under fire", your making up the bullets in your mind. The guy with the gun can have hundreds of friends, all people you know and love, all laughing with him, and against you. His words will surely tear you dignety and reputation to pieces, you can feel the anger welling up inside you, as he hits with the lowest shots ever you clench your fist and

Stop

Next time you clence your fist, your on your last chance. This is the point to quickly turn it around. If your smart you wont have said anything- especially a "come back" (NEVER DO THAT.). When you clench your fist I want this to all come flooding back into your head. You now have a few seconds to kill off your emotion before you embarass ya self.

Now, the fist clench is your signal. You whip back into "logical normal guy mode" from "pent up angry- oh wait I better make a witty come back mode" You've got to see everyone around you as meaning nothing. This can be hard especially when they're your "friends". Here comes the bit where you take contol back from the creature:

1- there isn't 5/40/100 of them, there's one. Its a group, but to me that's one person. One blob.

2- its not trying to insult me, its trying to get me to turn into that pathetic creature, angry me.

3- but I can see what its doing now

4- its cute that there's suck a big thing that has a problem with me

The insults continue, but you cant really hear them...

6- christ they're going on a bit...great so my mum's a slag and the girl I like fancies this guy...

7- news to me I guess...

Its about now, where your mind had disposed of those emotion chemicals, that you realise

8- why am I still here? Christ i have far better things to do...

And this is it. You have better things to do that listen to their sh1t. You don't have time in your life to become an emotion junkie and get pent up over any little thing. Just smile, tell them that you've got some stuff to do, and leave. If they're not gonna beat the **** out of you they cant do anything. Go talk to someone else.

I get so embarrised when people try to rip this piss out of me. Its like being with a drunk friend who's shouting really strange things in public. It doesn't matter if they're taking this piss out of you cos you do...ballet lessons, or you *used* to cry a lot for example, the whole class can be ripping the piss out of you, just ask them polietly what they don't like about it. Ask them what they want you to do about it. Turn the conversation back into a civilised one.

What i said before was a half truth. Emotions are what make us human, but your not a human. A human is a member of the animal kingdom. Animals fight. Animals have instinctive, compulsive reations to things. Anger should be left to dogs and chipmunks.

Your a man. Men are logical and they think things through. If you think your problem through you can deal with it.
Anger only lets you win in movies.

 

[oreo_renegade]

eh?

haha

I voted, "im emotional, but its not a bad thing"

The emotions you speak of are all ego-based, my friend.

Psychoanalitically, "ego" is what you view as the "self."

In other words, its the "me" "my" "I" "mine" part. And then everyone else is "they!"

This is a dangerous combination! Because now, "they" are seperate from "me," "they" arent "me," that means.... "they" might not care about "me"....if fact, "they" might be capable of hurting "me!"

And bamo, you have fallen into the paranoid egomaniac you describe.

"Fear" "Anger" blah blah arent emotions.

They are what happens when your super analytical mind defines too many things.

I remember when I used to be ego, it seemed everone would always start **** with me, now, everyone is my friend!

I am still ego, but MUCH LESS then I used to be.

If I came up to you and started saying things like "Hey everybody, Cloud-uk eats food! hahahahaha yeah, he also gets this liquid stuff, and sticks it down his throat!!! Even more, he inhales gases, and then emits them!!!!!!!"

Your probably not going to get HULK-MAD and start pounding the sh1t outa me.

Its just stupid sh1t that my ego is trying to do.

you see, EGO competes for definition. It LOVES and THRIVES on defining things.

It arranges elaborate groups, subgroups, categories, types, just so it can better define every thing!

"Hes a punk, shes a prep, that kid is a geek, Im pretty normal, oh no here comes jenny, this might be my chance to be part of the cool kids"

Sound familiar?

An egotistical person WOULD try to insult you so they are seen as "better" person.

"If *I* make *him* look bad, then its pretty obvious *I* am not like *him* since I notice *his* flaws, then... that means *I* am better then *him*, hence higher up on the social ladder"

The only way the insulting ego can win, is if the defender uses his ego to block.

Stop the seperation, there is no "they" against "me."

Get over the hollywood dramatics, and start enjoying life.

THEN you will start experiencing REAL emotions

and damn... Hollywood cant compete.


PS- look up stuff on ego, and duality (dualty?) spelling?
www.google.com

 

[ShizamDaMan]

Ahhhh, this reminds me of something I wrote late nite on my online journal a long time ago. Enjoy:

Lately, I've noticed how many people are generally stressed out because of certain outside factors. It doesn't matter what's coming up; but regardless it's taking a toll on people's mental stability. Some people just need to realize the obvious:

Fear, anger, doubt, jealousy, anxiety, and rage are all worthless. Completely, totally, unneeded crap emotions.

The only goal of these emotions is to hinder you. Really, think about it logically. Some emotions push you to do great things. Love, pride, compassion, confidence, collectiveness, creativity, etc are all examples of "good emotions" that make us able to do incredible things. On the other end of the spectrum, there are emotions which only seem to hinder your performance, "bad emotions" as I see them. Fear, anger, doubt, jealousy, anxiety, and rage are only good for one thing: hurting you. Some people need to realize that when these emotions come into play, bad things happen because they are in control of YOU, not vice-versa.

Take fear for example. It's a defense mechanism, designed to help protect our lives in dangerous circumstances. It was great back when we were Neanderthals, but in this day and age it's irrelevant. Fear is really meaningless today. Since we don't have to worry about being eaten by bears or killed by a herd of stampeding buffalo, fear manifests itself for situations which are not in the least hazardous. Take for example going to talk to a girl that you don't know. Fear kicks in and tells you "Woah there, you really think going over there is going to be good? There's no way she'll want to talk to you. Better stay away so you don't get hurt." Since fear takes over, you resist talking to her. Just because you were afraid of getting hurt, you stayed away from another human being.

Pathetic.

What is the worst thing that could happen? It's almost certain she's not going to castrate you for wanting to bring up a conversation. Unless you're blind, you can see that she's not hiding a katana behind her back, waiting to cut you in half with it. Honestly, the worst that will happen is she might say, "I'm sorry, I do not wish to talk to you." However, the chances of that are slim as hell. More than likely she will want to talk to you, just because you had the balls to go and speak with her. At least she knows you're not another wimpy guy just looking at her. Hell, if you're a good orator she might even enjoy your conversation. You didn't even take a real risk and you are already benefiting. After your conversation is said and done and you are walking away (possibly with her phone number), you think, "Man, how stupid was it to be scared of rejection."

Franklin D. Roosevelt once said, "There is nothing to fear except fear itself." He was 100% RIGHT ON THE MONEY. What is the worst possible thing that could ever happen to you? It's death: not being alive. Since we know that at one point or another we will all die, what else is there to fear? Dying early? Who cares, it's going to happen eventually. It might happen tomorrow; and if it did could you honestly say that you lived life to the fullest? You can't let stupid things like fear hold you back. It's the same way with other "bad emotions." Don't let them run your life. Be in command of your emotions, knowing that you have nothing to fear.

It's the exact same way with anger and rage. When rage takes control, you are being controlled by another force. Your brain has primal instincts that act when you are in a stage of fight or flight. These emotions SEVERELY cloud your judgment, making you do things you'd never do normally. More often that not, the outcome will be bad. Since you're not your calm, cool, collected self you make rash decisions, possibly hurting yourself and others in the process. I know there are times when you think you can't just "let it go." When that happens just think, "What am I gaining from being angry?" Realize that when you're angry you get fatigued, you are in a bad mood, and you are impacting your health negatively. While you're doing all of this guess what happens to your problems? They are still right there for you to deal with. Some help anger was.

"Worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but it doesn't get you anywhere."
-Van Wilder

If you're still with me, I'm going to summarize my whole post. Sometimes you gotta let it all go. Just drop it; your bad emotions aren't helping you at all. You will go a LONG way to achieving your goals and have a lot easier time doing it too. Since you're now in control at all times, you will make less mistakes and put yourself in less bad situations. The benefits are multi-fold.

 

[Cloud-uk]

mmm yeah, I think I ment that emotions are bad in the context of being insulted. I totally agree that there are times when you can't "let it go" when infact what you do instead only makes things worse.

oreo_renegade, I think your explanation of this based on the concept of an "ego" is great- is that Freud? Though I'd like to argue that anger is an emotion, though fear is not. You'd describe an angry person as being emotional, but you wouldn't call someone who is afraid as being emotional. I'm actually not sure what the difference is between these two things, if someone could tell me that would be nice.

I was kind of expecting a bit more responce to this post actually, I've noticed a few people on this board who post about their emotional responces to things. I know I used to have a real problem with this in my AFC days, but I managed to nip it in the ass before I found this site.

 

[oakraiderz2]

Being emotional IS a bad thing; although, having emotion is a very good thing, but differs from being emotional. Those who think being emotional as a good thing must not have had an experiance with someone like that. One of my good friend who moved was the most emotional person ive ever met. He claimed that all these girls like to create drama eventhough he himself was creating it all. Whenever something wasnt the way he wouldnt it he would flip a bytch and start going crazy. Then all of a sudden his mood would just change.

Even the smallest things would alter his moods faster than you could believe. If we were walking around the mall he would be fine one minute and the next he would be screaming and hollering at god knows what. Then he would go from screaming to like being depressed and mad. SO if you think being emotial is a good thing wait till you meet someone like this.

On the other hand, emotions arent a bad thing and they DONT make you weak. Having a passion for things in life is cause by being emotional about those things. Therefore, passion must be an emotion right?? With out emotions the world would be a BORING place. Its just the fact the we need to learn to control our emotions so that they benefit us and make our lifes better.

 

[oreo_renegade]

ego explanation is a little bit of everyone, Sigmund called it "id" I think.

But hes not the only one to ever mention ego.

The difference between fear and anger are simple

scenario one:

Small boy gets beaten by his father every day severly. He learns to be very afraid of his father, initially.

Then, boy gets older, hes about 14-15 and hes noticed... he about as big as his father, in fact, he could probably beat his fathers ass.


His father comes in and starts trying to beat the boy, now the boy reacts not with fear, but with rage.


Anger comes out when the ego feels like it is being compromised, doesnt deseve the compromise,etc., and fear comes out when the ego feel rather helpless.

 

[Sammo]

Some emotions are good while some are bad. You have to learn to control the bad ones to stop you from doing something stupid and embrace the good ones to make you more efficient in whatever you are trying to do. You can use NLP to make yourself feel certain emotions in easily.