zekko said:
It might depend on your stage of social development I've been friends with a couple of mega-hotties. Actually, those relationship started out as friendships then progressed to sexual relationships. But even in the friendship stages I have to say they taught me quite a bit, about women, and about beautiful women in particular.
I never realized this until I spent a full year writing BOS, and reviewing, woman by woman, my development into a "wrold-class PUA." My original title and tone was "Understanding And Seducing The Social-Climbing Slut," figuring it would sell well, to men who believe in that alpha-male/high-value game to be used on social-climbers, but the more I went through my own history, I realized it was what I did as an "AFC" that made me absoltuely DEADLY aas a "PUA." Things like how to conduct a proper, formal date (thanks to SHBLunch), which every PUA should know, are skipped by men who view dating as for "suckers." I view dating instead as a necessary skill, even if I view efw women as worthy of dating; if one is worthy, then I want to be able to date properly.
The OTL is the one who really made a "PUA" out of me, even though I was completely AFC in my pursuit of her. All I knew at the time was that I had absolutely no clue on how to seduce her, but didn't want to blow my chance, so I just literally parked in LJBF (EL-II), so I could get to know her, gain insight, and make my move at an opportune time. Looking back, the few times I did "game" her (like freezing her out when she was annoying me), she did get active, as well as when I let her know I had 'fallen in love" with a Julliard student near my high school, but that was so counterintuitive at the time I didn't even think of it as useful. Sharing stories with the OTL about the men who hit on her was priceless, becuase she would outline every mistake they made, without lying (since she trusted me etc.). Finally, the BEST skill she taught me was how to be in close proximity to a "megahottie" (super-elite) without losing my IQ. This girl would plan herself ON MY BED, to watch TV, wearing short-shorts and a tankm top, and I had to learn how to restrain myself, which is not easy for a horny, inexperienced seventeen year-old.
After the OTL smashed my heart by choosing a rich guy (LimoDude), I took eight months to recover, at which point I went to college, still determined to find my "soulmate." I had tons of options for easy sex, and passed them alol, figuring that the OTL wasn't my soulmate due to her golddigging, which left me waiting for that "magic hottie." That materialized in the form of Kate, who caught me eye on her 18th birthday, after which point she repeatedly got my attention, as I repeatedly played it cool while ignoring her. I didn't do this to be a PUA, but to avoid making a fool out of myself as I had with the OTL. Finally, one Sunday, we're in a group of a dozen people having dinner at 400pm on a Sunday, everyone else leaves one by one, and Kate and I wind up closing the cafeteria at 700pm. I get CONGRATULATED by three guys I didn't even know; apparently, kate had rejected every guy on campus in the fall semester, and I was a january arrival. Karte was also born to be a fashion executive, loved Manhattan, and I was one only a few from there.
Without realizing it, what the OTL had taught me set me up to "game" Kate, which led to the keg party and her leaving her coat in my room, to come back and get it later (I realized what she was doing but this caused the "Battle Of Kate," since I intended to ask her out, not just fock her in my dorm). I relaized later that Kate may have been fearful I would take another girl into my room later, and was just marking her territory! Still, Kate did reject my "AFC" pursuit, not because she didn't respect me for it, but because she DID respect me enough n9ot to break my heart; I wanted marriage, and she never married anyone. To the woman, it's not worth one hookup if doing so is going to make my heartbreak ten times worse. Pretending I didn't want marriage wouldn't have made it less painful.
What Kate taught me went beyond even what the OTL did. One Sunday morning, out of the blue, she gave me the score from the musical CHESS. I had thought of inviting her to the play in Manhattan, plus dinner at the Bangkok House (Thai place, the song from the play was "One NIght In Bangkook"), but by breaking the EL-II, I also blew what would have been a great chance that summer. Still, when she did this, I realized that CHICKS DIG CHESSPLAYERS, so I adopted the persona of the "money-mad Americqan," wannabe world-champion, and began training at chess 70+ hours a week in late 1986, when I was still heartbroken over Kate. My original plan was to become a chess champion, maove back to Manhattan, have Kate hear my name on the radio, and reunite, but then I realized that she would be over thirty years of age by then, so I abandoned that LOL.
In 1988, I sent Kate a birthday card to let her know how to reach me, so I would know she was truly rejecting me, and this freed my mind to pursue other targets. By then, the "chess gimmick" (my alpha gimmick) was scoring me some of the most incredible women you could ever imagine, and I didn't really care if Kate noticed my playing or not. I quit chess in 1991 because I feared becoming a "grandmaster degenerate" ranked 20th in the world, anonymous, respected by chessplayers and no one else, and not earning a lot of money. that's when I shifted to gambling, and got a regular job.
What were easily my two biggest "failures" with women set the table for every other success I would experience once I recovered from the heartbreak in 1988, a full THREE YEARS after these "failures." What transpired over the next decade should serve notice to any wannabe PUA to take a LONG-TERM view of his "career" a a PUA, and that a few years on the learning curve, including the heartbreak (something one must really experience rather than read about; there are no shortcuts to true devleopment as a PUA), laid such a strong rfoundation for my ultimate "PUA game" that I had to credit both the OTL and Kate for making me into the PUA I became.
Because I shared what THEY tuaght me with the world, those two women are the true "mothers" of the seduction community. The simple fact is that if you want to learn how to "game" a super-elite, there is only ONE way, and that is to actually BE the man they are considering focking. They will not tell you how they choose men unless they have to SHOW you because they are actually consiedering choosing you. This is why learning from "ceritified PUA instructors" who learn from other men is toxic, as well as learning from men who have never been on the front lines, never had a 9.9 on their bed as a "friend" to teach them how to control their hormones, and who never had their "Kate" offering insight into what makes them attractive4 to super-elites, for I never would have DREAMED that CHESS would have been the key, yet it was!
When Kate gave me that Chess score, I knew enough to knwo that if my "emotional steroetype" as a Bobby Fischer-type chess genius was enough to amek Kate gush over me, and think about me in my absence, that it would likely have the same effect on other super-elites. Had the community existed back thern, no "guru" would ever have given me such insight.
I also spent the entire summer of 1985 with my broken heart and my radio, every night (no internet or major TV at that hour back then), writing down everything about every interaction I had not only with Kate, but our entire social circle, as one does in a chess post-mortem, and even used chess notation, determined to master what was obviously a GAME to me.
What had gnawed at me was my inability to get the lay when she came to my dorm room. I had half-expected her to jump me in the room, would have had sex if she did, figured she didn't want me becuase she didn't, but KNEW I had a "win" if only I knew what to do, with certainty. I could easily have made a pass at her, but I wanted more. I wanted to kon whow to do this with CERTAINTY, since I concluded, correctly, that she never would have come to my room at that hour if she wasn't intent on allowing me to fock her, if only I knew how. In 19 Reasons, I wrotre "treat your soulmate like a slot," as if I had erred, yet in BOS I reversed this, instead saying to "treat your soulmate likie a SOULMATE."
The time I "wasted" on Kate and the OTL was no waste at all. I lost NOTHING with either of them, as I was still free to apply what they taught me with other targets, as I did after 1988. Even the "oneitis" was correct, since I wanted to MARRY these women. After two failurs at this, and knowing no better women would ever be found (a few "Aces" came close), I became a "reluctant PUA," untamable, a true challenge, and anytime women said I should "give love a chance," I could honestly say I had done so twice. When they said those two women were the "wrong women," I refused to accept that. They were the right women, and had made the wrong decision. I was not going to compound their mistakes by making my own, namely settling for a "DupoliKate." This is when I became a "reluctant PUA" and never looked back. Note, however, that had either Kate or the OTL become my wife, I would have WOn the game in the first inning, and never had to "settle" for what most PUAs cconsider the ideal.
The man who starts off as a PUA never gives himself this chance to win it all. I have no regrets for having played in two "Super Bowls," and any man who says he won't cry like an infant after losing a game at that level is just a liar.
Ray Gordon
Bettor Off Single: Why Commitment Is A Bad Gamble For Men
http://www.toosmarttofail.com/bos.pdf
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