Emotional reactivity

[BadsnakeUK]

OK this one's more for the newbs out there. It may offend AFCs who are still worshipping their chosen goddess so they should probably avert their eyes from such blasphemy if they really don't want to see something that might shock them or help them get laid.

Basically emotional reactivity is one of the deciding factors in guys not getting laid. To succumb to it is to jump headlong into the bottomless pit of the friendship zone, from whence there is no escape!

In short, it is being affected by a woman's emotions.

This is the realm of the emotional tampon, who cries along with her pain, worries about her troubles and is only happy when everything in her world is perfect. It is the realm of the AFC who takes her every feeling to heart and strives constantly to give her nothing but happiness.

But there are more subtle ways in which it can affect us. I see a lot of posts on the main discussion board here asking "she said this/did that today... What does it mean?" Let me ask you, why do you care? If you know you are doing the right thing, why does her emotional state matter that much to you?

I have known many women who have said they will act badly just to get a reaction and feel that they have 'won' something by successfully baiting the guy. So when she's being moody/difficult/annoying/demanding/illogical, just carry on as normal. Be bombproof. Rise above the silliness and have that zen-like calm about you

This covers everything they do from pr1ckteasing in a club through to demanding a full set of new furniture when they're married. Be the man and treat these emotional storms in a teacup as what they really are. These emotional vacillations can be positive things as well as negative. One of the sh!t tests everyone misses is when a girl starts showing some interest and good doggy gets really excited and starts wagging his tail already! Just be who you are and carry on with your life unaffected. If you were having a good day, just carry on having one. There's no need for silly little dramas, good or bad, to spoil it.

Have a degree of dignity and separation. Not only will she see you have the emotional stability to be a still rock in the raging ocean, she will also be intrigued by you and try to find out what's underneath your calm exterior. Its never a bad thing to keep that slightly out of her reach or, if she's really a keeper, to give it to her in VERY small doses (although lways make sure you keep a little bit back).

 

[drtk]

Somehow I missed this one, good stuff. Thanks Snake.

 

[Jeffst1980]

Good post, Badsnake.

I'd like to add that often times within the early stages of a relationship, a women will act extremely emotionally reactive to test your ability to remain cool. An example: Your girl flips out because she perceives you as flirting with another woman. She might throw a tantrum or storm off angrily. The WRONG reaction is, simply, to react to this childish behavior. Don't get defensive, don't get angry, and don't apologize if you did nothing wrong. Let her know that you will not be brought down to that level, and that she is not the arbiter of justice within the relationship.

This is normal at first and not really a true reflection of her character. If you keep your cool and prove that you are the one in charge of your emotions, she probably will give up testing you and realize that such tests will actually make you want to leave her. If she continues to throw such tantrums over silly things: NEXT.

 

[Professional]

Good post.

Stay solid.

 

[BadsnakeUK]

If you keep your cool and prove that you are the one in charge of your emotions, she probably will give up testing you and realize that such tests will actually make you want to leave her. If she continues to throw such tantrums over silly things: NEXT.

Precisely. And the key for me in putting an end to this childishness immediately is to not be afraid to let her know that I WILL walk at any stage of the relationship if it continues. I won't shout back, argue about things or start point scoring/game playing, but is she crosses the line once too often, I will just be gone calmly and collectedly and she will be left without me. Basically I think all this comes down to keeping the moral/emotional/spiritual high ground rather than descending into the sad chaos of the female psyche. Its the way forward, men!