Emotional (in)stability

[Doctormad]

First of all I want to say that my life is going great. I am working full time again, I have been getting other job interviews as well in my field, I have an awesome girlfriend, and of course my parents who are very supportive of me.


So why am I feeling like I am going have a breakdown?

I have seen the pattern before. Normally I am a confident, great looking guy to the point of being a bit ****y. However as time progresses negative emotional energy builds up inside me. At first its small and I am still able to function at my normal self but as time progresses and more negative emotions build up inside I gradually go from someone who is confident and assertive to someone who is passive, insecure and well, a wuss. Eventually I start getting jealous and envious of other people, and I start jumping to conclusions about other people's motives. I even start to care if a certain person dislikes me, and at its worst I start to self sabotage, and even think of suicidal thoughts. Then at some point in time a trigger will happen and I will release all that negative energy in an intense display of emotion. Then the cycle begins all over again.

Currently I am the latter stages of what I described previously, which is why I am venting a bit here instead of dealing with it on my own. I know everyone has up and down days, but for me I start really up, then gradually move downward like an elevator until I hit the basement. I am lucky my girlfriend is so patient, because frankly right now I cant trust my emotions or perception of reality, heck it seems so surreal.

 

[Jamo]

wow

That sounds exactly like me...except without the awesome GF hehe.

 

[KarmaSutra]

Helen Keller would have a better chance finding a cure for what you're going through.


I'd suggest talking to a certified therapist and getting some inward help or something prescribed to help you deal with your emotional roller coaster ride Brother.

 

[Wyldfire]

My guess would be that you are stuffing something you need to deal with. Men tend to do that. That will lead to this kind of cycle repeating itself over and over again because what you're not dealing with boils over. If you're not acknowledging it and facing and dealing with it, then it will show itself in other ways.

Chances are you know what it is that you need to deal with but haven't. If you want this cycle to stop then you're going to have to unpack the emotional baggage instead of pretending it doesn't exist.

No problem or low feelings are so severe that you should ever think about suicide. You've just got to let yourself process whatever is eating away at you and unload it from your life. Sometimes it's hard to do...but believe me...it is SO worth it in the end.