Emotional Dilemma

[Theminatar]

I guess the title is one that is related witht he topic, never been a good title creator.

Anyways, I can't stop liking the same girl as before. Let's call her HB. Before spring break we never talked outside of school and I suggested that we hang out during break, I also was starting to realize I was getting to emotionally attached to her. So over break we never hung out and she never replied to any of my texts. (2 texts, the first one was a what's up, the second was asking if she'd like to go running with me)

I thought about it and came to the conclusion that I needed to push her away, so I started to convince myself that I was angry at her and hated her because she was a 2 faced ***** even though she isn't. It was working for me and I started to become more emotionally detached from her and didn't care if she ever talked to me again.

She realized I was angry with her and I told her so. She kept asking and asking why I was angry with her but I kept telling her I don't want to talk to you. I was talking to a friend of mine about the situation, he's friends with both her and me, and I made sure not to tell him everything cause I had a feeling he'd tell her. So I gave him a quick summary. Well I told him I wasn't going to text HB and tell her why I was mad, I was going to wait and have her text me.

So last Friday, this lasted 5 days starting Monday, she sent me a text apologizing and saying how great of a friend I am and how she wasn't trying to be a ***** and didn't mean to come off as ignoring me. I don't really believe she meant any of that but she told me she did.

Anyways to the real Dilemma; I started sitting with her again during lunch and talking to her again during school but now I feel like **** again because I know she will still probably ignore me, I can't stop thinking about how I never get invited to any events. She tells me I'm such a great friend, then why doesn't she invite me to any events? I'm not one to invite myself to places because it's just rude to do so, also what if they don't want you there? The worst part is, It just brings pain to think about her.

I guess my question is, what do I do? I can't just get all angry at her again because I just told her I forgave her. Do I tell her the truth of why I can't talk to her during school or sit with her?

 

[NorwegianDJ]

Its about you, not her.
First off, you're not a good title creator because you have barely created any, and couldn't give 2 seconds thought to your title. However, your title does fit, and you're not a bad title creator. False, unpowering belief.

Seconds, send statements as a first text, dont suck value by questioning and being dependent on an answer.

You became angry as a knee-jerk reaction. NEVER take actions based off a knee-jerk reaction. You had no reason to become angry.

When she got to know about this, it instantly lowered your value. You became mad because she didn't reply to your texts. Needy much?

She friendzoned you now you're friends again. Yay.

Wanna get invited to parties? Be proactive about being social and spreading good vibes. People will want to hang with you. Eventually ask them what they are up to this weekend.

As for the chick; it's about you, not her.

 

[Amo]

I can't stop thinking about how I never get invited to any events. She tells me I'm such a great friend, then why doesn't she invite me to any events? I'm not one to invite myself to places because it's just rude to do so

Fvck rudeness.

 

[Theminatar]

Its about you, not her.
First off, you're not a good title creator because you have barely created any, and couldn't give 2 seconds thought to your title. However, your title does fit, and you're not a bad title creator. False, unpowering belief.

Seconds, send statements as a first text, dont suck value by questioning and being dependent on an answer.

You became angry as a knee-jerk reaction. NEVER take actions based off a knee-jerk reaction. You had no reason to become angry.

When she got to know about this, it instantly lowered your value. You became mad because she didn't reply to your texts. Needy much?

She friendzoned you now you're friends again. Yay.

Wanna get invited to parties? Be proactive about being social and spreading good vibes. People will want to hang with you. Eventually ask them what they are up to this weekend.

As for the chick; it's about you, not her.

I wasn't angry because she wasn't answering my texts. I was convincing myself I was angry at something that didn't matter to push her away.

What's a knee-jerk reaction?

 

[Amo]

Why the **** do you need to convince yourself? If you can convince yourself that you're angry at her, then you're in enough control of your emotions to just shut her out.

Knee-jerk reaction - reaction done without thinking. You know when the doctor taps your knee and your leg automatically flinches. It's that.

 

[NorwegianDJ]

I wasn't angry because she wasn't answering my texts. I was convincing myself I was angry at something that didn't matter to push her away.

What's a knee-jerk reaction?

You convinced yourself to get angry and then you're still angry with her? I'd say she made you angry.

A knee-jerk reaction is your initial EMOTIONAL reaction to something. This will often be things such as jealousy, anger, etc. This will often lead to bad actions you'll regret later. Ie. When I was setting up a date with HB Cloud back in the day just before I started my journal, she said something like she couldn't come. I managed to interpret it very negatively and replied with something like "True side *****". I later realized how stupid it was and actually sent an apology later, telling her we'll meet up later.
Yeah

 

[Theminatar]

Ok, but what should I do? I can't just start ignoring her again, and if I keep sitting with her and talking I still end up feeling like ****.

Man, getting advice from 15 year olds. Where am I going now? rofl

-no offence

 

[NorwegianDJ]

Ok, but what should I do? I can't just start ignoring her again, and if I keep sitting with her and talking I still end up feeling like ****.

Man, getting advice from 15 year olds. Where am I going now? rofl

-no offence

HAhah, yeah dude, you're not the first one asking for advice.
Well your goal by now isn't getting with her I assume, as you're solidly friendzoned and you angry with her.
Back to the question if this feeling is legit? Dont you like being with her? If that's the case, stop being with her.

 

[Amo]

I dunno about me, but I suggest you listen to Norway - he's proven himself on this forum, and he's a cool guy.

You, on the other hand, are sitting here like a prissy ***** whining about some chick and making a problem that really isn't even there. No offense.

 

[Theminatar]

The feeling is legit, I love being with her and if we ever got in a relationship I'd be happiest man in the world. She is perfect in every way possible.

But how can I stop being with her without raising any suspicion, because she'll start questioning me.

I dunno about me, but I suggest you listen to Norway - he's proven himself on this forum, and he's a cool guy.

You, on the other hand, are sitting here like a prissy ***** whining about some chick and making a problem that really isn't even there. No offense.

No offense taken, I deserve that.

 

[Amo]

The feeling is legit, I love being with her and if we ever got in a relationship I'd be happiest man in the world. She is perfect in every way possible.

Get the **** out of that oneitis. Happiness does not come from women, they're just along for the ride. And nobody - nobody - is perfect. Get your head out of your ass.

But how can I stop being with her without raising any suspicion, because she'll start questioning me.

Just be civil. If she talks, talk back, but don't make an effort. Srsly.

 

[Theminatar]

Get the **** out of that oneitis. Happiness does not come from women, they're just along for the ride. And nobody - nobody - is perfect. Get your head out of your ass.



Just be civil. If she talks, talk back, but don't make an effort. Srsly.

Lol alright alright alright alright.. ****, lol I imagine if you were here you would be bashing my head with a rock telling me these things.

 

[Amo]

I prefer baseball bats.

 

[NorwegianDJ]

Lol alright alright alright alright.. ****, lol I imagine if you were here you would be bashing my head with a rock telling me these things.

Hah, yeah. Kinda.
It might sometimes sound like I have a harsh tone on the forum, but thats up to how you interpret it.
Didnt know that you wanted a relationship with her. It doesnt really change anything, as she doesn't want one with you. Move on, to quote myself a few pages up: "Its about you, not her."