emergency advice needed ASAP

[h_roberts]

OK background...

A little over a month ago I met a 22 yr old (me 35) at a club that is kinda known for a younger crowd (yeppers, young poon)...OK, I met a fairly cute girl there who had just walked into the bar area from the adjacent comedy club. She was there with family to see a comedian. I was there in the dance area.

So, we just started talking, about what I don't know, and I got her number and then texted her mine. Just casual, I wasn't even pursuing hard.

Anyway, so she texted me and said something about how it was nice meeting such a great guy with my qualities.

So, we keep in touch a bit for a week, and I start hearing talk about her boyfriend. OK, well, we go get coffee and she talks him up, how great he is.

(I know what is going to be said of this, I am a total AFC...I have a feeling she's been invting me to give her a reason to break it off)

Anyway, so I back off a tad, but still talk. We have dinner one night, and she has started insisting as friends, just throwing that term out there.

So, I start switching gears. We go see a movie "as friends" because she keeps insisting on asking me if I want to do something. She still talks up her guy, who is out of town a lot and happens to be in his 30s too.

So in the movie, I tease her a bit...Indiana Jones, the scorpian scene, I pinch her shoulder to make her jump and she gives me a playful slap. After the movie, I make the comment that I was sooo wanting to kiss her and she kinda plays it cool "its ok that you think that but I have a bf" type talk.

(Maybe she's just hanging me out there as a potential herself)

So anyway, I truly just start playing the friends game too, and have been for weeks. I don't text unless she does. Playing aloof a bit.

So, tonight we are going to a live music club, same one I met another chick in last night. She says another male friend is coming, I'm like, ok cool.

....Here's the kicker. I met another cute chick 2 weeks ago (same live music club) She was alone, I was alone, started talking, danced, drank, talked, grind danced...I pulled an AFC toward the end of the night by giving her my number instead of getting hers. I kinda gave up on hearing from her after 3, 4 days and just hung it out there as "whatever happens"

Well, just as soon as plans were set for tonight with girl 1, this girl sends me a text. Now, she's older, 35, my age. She's more mature. Really, more interesting for a LTR than the 22 yr old. The text said "I may be going out tonight." Ofcourse, the number wasn't in my contacts, so I asked who it was, and bingo. I really liked this girl. Genuine, sweet, similar life situation.

Anyway, so I tell her I have plans with a female friend and her guy friend, and invite her to come!

Texts go like so
"Are u sure?"
Yeah, it'll be fun
"Ur not on a date r u?"
No, she's not date material
But I am NOW
"Ur on a date now? I'm sorry for interrupting"
No silly, LOL thats funny. No, I meant now that ur coming I'm not dateless
"Oh OK, well see u later"
Does that mean we're on 4 tonight, 10ish?
"No gaurantees, I'm at XXX right now with friends, I'll c u if I dont get 2 drunk here"



OK, now I am sooo scared I'm setting up a potential disaster...or damn, I might be setting up instant poon from both.

problems... I dont want the younger girl giving impressions to the girl my age that I hit on her at a bar known for younger crowds. Dont want to look like a pedophile. The older girls opinion is more valued at this point

I dont want them getting catty. I dont want discomfort.

But then again, maybe jealousy might be something that points them both my way.

How do I work this?

emergency, about to take my shower

 

[h_roberts]

go with the older chick. The younger chick can find another "girlfriend", cuz thats what you are to her, in case you have'nt noticed. You might as well grow a pair and tell the younger chick you aren't interested in friendship in right now, cuz you're single. Why would you want to hang out with her and another dude, anyway? Especially when you know you aint gettin any. Dont waste your time, you're not getting any younger.

Well thats why I haven't pursued it. But, I disagree with you about even being friends. I am trying to establish a larger social network. I'm divorced and my social network, when I took a look at it a year ago, was anemic. This guy friend of hers might turn out to be the best guy pal I ever met, he may have a sister, the girl may have a cousin...I think its about expanding all the possibilities. Just a minor point of disagreement on that.

But dude, I may be getting older, but if a cute young 22 yr old is freely going to give it up...well, you might as well drop the chump in AFC cuz I'm not that!

 

[st_99]

Well thats why I haven't pursued it. But, I disagree with you about even being friends. I am trying to establish a larger social network. I'm divorced and my social network, when I took a look at it a year ago, was anemic. This guy friend of hers might turn out to be the best guy pal I ever met, he may have a sister, the girl may have a cousin...I think its about expanding all the possibilities. Just a minor point of disagreement on that.

But dude, I may be getting older, but if a cute young 22 yr old is freely going to give it up...well, you might as well drop the chump in AFC cuz I'm not that!

IDK, trying to build a social network with a 22 yo and you're 35? Doesn't
seem productive. But its something to do, I guess.

 

[h_roberts]

IDK, trying to build a social network with a 22 yo and you're 35? Doesn't
seem productive. But its something to do, I guess.

22 year olds have 25 yr old friends. 25 yr olds have 32 yr old friends...

And to the other poster about her giving it up. No...but dudes, she just texted me saying she may not have a boyfriend soon. (the guy going with us is a coworker, not her bf btw)

This text was out of the blue. I think the seeds of jealousy may have been planted.

This might be disaster or sheer brilliance.

BTW, WTF guys, u telling me u wouldn't hit a 22 yr old?

 

[h_roberts]

I am of the opinion that some chicks you do have to slow cook. I always remember when I was younger that the girls at that age were sometimes slow to come along. Not most, but some who are from more conservative backgrounds. It isn't until they've had steady sex from multiple partners over a few years that they give it more freely. This might be that type of girl, and she genuinely might have been keeping me on the line while she decided what to do with the bf. I probably don't want to get into anything with her, but EVEN HAVING SAID THAT...It has been nice going out with a woman, even as a friend, and just learning, practicing my skillz, getting more comfortable with myself around them. I don't think that is in itself a bad thing. I kind of lost touch with flirtation after 6 yrs of marriage.

 

[h_roberts]

alright, its on. We'll see how this goes.

 

[jophil28]

IDK, trying to build a social network with a 22 yo and you're 35? Doesn't
seem productive. But its something to do, I guess.

Her Mother may be hot - who knows? Same genes !!

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear ST_99,andH_Roberts....

"Originally Posted by h_roberts
Well thats why I haven't pursued it. But, I disagree with you about even being friends. I am trying to establish a larger social network. I'm divorced and my social network, when I took a look at it a year ago, was anemic. This guy friend of hers might turn out to be the best guy pal I ever met, he may have a sister, the girl may have a cousin...I think its about expanding all the possibilities. Just a minor point of disagreement on that.

But dude, I may be getting older, but if a cute young 22 yr old is freely going to give it up...well, you might as well drop the chump in AFC cuz I'm not that!

IDK, trying to build a social network with a 22 yo and you're 35? Doesn't
seem productive. But its something to do, I guess."

As we have discussed ad infinitem,35 and 25 is perfectly acceptable....I have done it several times never had immediate problems,down the line is another matter...

 

[h_roberts]

Well here is the field report for last night if you are interested.

The 35 year old and I got there first. She was already in the club having a beer. I met her in the club and we started chit-chatting. I told her I needed to play catch-up on the beers and got one myself. While we talked, I mentioned my 22 yr old friend and played her off. Let her know she had a bf and all, that SHE (35 yr old) was my date.

So, the other girl and her friend show up. Get this, her friend just happens to be someone I met at an art class I took this year. He's a cool guy, quiet, but it was cool that the "small world" thing was taking place.

So, we all start dancing, listening to the music. I clearly give all my attention to my date. She bought me a beer, and later I returned the favor. As the night went on, the dancing was more intense and we did make out a bit on the dance floor. I used to worry about going in for a kiss so soon, but it has been my recent experience that girls WANT you to but tastefully. At some point I make the much used joke "You aren't going to take advantage of me tonight are you?" and she said "I'm a good girl".

Anyway, the girls seemed to get along just fine. I did get a hint of jealousy in the younger girl, but she started scoping out guys in the club and got one to dance with her. Her friend seemed not to be too interested. He told me in private that he'd "already hit it, been there done that". Not sure if thats the case but oh well.

Here's what got kinda disappointing. As my date got a little drunker, she seemed a bit less interested in dancing and getting close. Still had a smile on her face and was friendly, but I could tell she was ready to leave. This about 1 AM. So she says she's leaving early. I tell her I'd lke to drive her home. She reminded me of the stalker that she's gone out with before and said she's not comfortable with that. I say OK. I walk her to her car and she does seem to be in a hurry to leave. I'm wondering if I said or did something. I tell her to be careful, I give her a hug, she goes to kiss me on the cheek, and I touch her face and kiss her on the lips. She returns the kiss, but it was not nearly as affectionate as before, very short...but it WAS a kiss.

Anyway, I go back in the club and send her a quick text to text me when she got home to let me know shes OK. She sends me a short "home" message and thats it. Fine.

So anyway, I'm not worrying or sweating. I'm not going to call or text. Just let it ride and see if she calls or texts. It was two weeks between meeting her and her texting me last night, so in a couple of weeks I might text her to invite her on a dinner date.

I say I'm not worried or sweating. Well, I do like the girl and would like to take it further, but I'm just going to go along with truly no expectations. Right now, I think I need to show her I am not needy, obsessed, or a potential stalker. That right there will probably be enough.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Well here is the field report for last night if you are interested.

The 35 year old and I got there first. She was already in the club having a beer. I met her in the club and we started chit-chatting. I told her I needed to play catch-up on the beers and got one myself. While we talked, I mentioned my 22 yr old friend and played her off. Let her know she had a bf and all, that SHE (35 yr old) was my date.

So, the other girl and her friend show up. Get this, her friend just happens to be someone I met at an art class I took this year. He's a cool guy, quiet, but it was cool that the "small world" thing was taking place.

So, we all start dancing, listening to the music. I clearly give all my attention to my date. She bought me a beer, and later I returned the favor. As the night went on, the dancing was more intense and we did make out a bit on the dance floor. I used to worry about going in for a kiss so soon, but it has been my recent experience that girls WANT you to but tastefully. At some point I make the much used joke "You aren't going to take advantage of me tonight are you?" and she said "I'm a good girl".

Anyway, the girls seemed to get along just fine. I did get a hint of jealousy in the younger girl, but she started scoping out guys in the club and got one to dance with her. Her friend seemed not to be too interested. He told me in private that he'd "already hit it, been there done that". Not sure if thats the case but oh well.

Here's what got kinda disappointing. As my date got a little drunker, she seemed a bit less interested in dancing and getting close. Still had a smile on her face and was friendly, but I could tell she was ready to leave. This about 1 AM. So she says she's leaving early. I tell her I'd lke to drive her home. She reminded me of the stalker that she's gone out with before and said she's not comfortable with that. I say OK. I walk her to her car and she does seem to be in a hurry to leave. I'm wondering if I said or did something. I tell her to be careful, I give her a hug, she goes to kiss me on the cheek, and I touch her face and kiss her on the lips. She returns the kiss, but it was not nearly as affectionate as before, very short...but it WAS a kiss.

Anyway, I go back in the club and send her a quick text to text me when she got home to let me know shes OK. She sends me a short "home" message and thats it. Fine.

So anyway, I'm not worrying or sweating. I'm not going to call or text. Just let it ride and see if she calls or texts. It was two weeks between meeting her and her texting me last night, so in a couple of weeks I might text her to invite her on a dinner date.

I say I'm not worried or sweating. Well, I do like the girl and would like to take it further, but I'm just going to go along with truly no expectations. Right now, I think I need to show her I am not needy, obsessed, or a potential stalker. That right there will probably be enough.

Few things I would've done differently, although I think your playing it pretty well and can fuvk both of them...

When the 35 year old texted you about going out, you should've invited her but not specified that she was "your date." That way, you could've played them off of each other. In my opinion by telling the 35 year old she was "your date" you put a little bit of pressure on her, which may have been the reason she was ready to bounce out a bit early.

The 22 year old sounds like a typical AW. Its pretty obvious she has mentally checked out of her relationship and is starting the all too familiar monkey branch process. If her other dude friend that you know from your art class did "hit it" already, then she should be nothing more than social proof and possibly a FWB situation.

If you truly like the 35 year old chick, don't wait 2 freakin' weeks to ask her out, that's ridiculous!! The 35 year old is into you, don't listen to her words, watch her actions. All her actions say high interest!! Call her up and keep building on the fun and excitement you've created inside of her.

In your down time, keep esclating the sexual tension between you and the 22 year old. Play your cards right and you'll have both of them eating outta the palm of your hand.



PIMP