"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Embarrassment About Women

WhtRbt

Senior Don Juan
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I think my problems with women stem back to childhood. When I was in gradeschool, I was always very popular with the ladies. Whenever there were parent-teacher conferences, my teachers would laugh and tell my parents how much the girls all liked me. They would giggle and think it was cute and tease me about it. I'm sure everyone's relatives teased them about girls, but for me I felt really embarrassed about it. My uncles would tease me, and my parents and stuff, and I think I just became totally embarrassed to admit I liked a girl and just embarrassed about girls in general.

I think that's what is affecting me now. If I like a girl, I would feel embarrassed if anyone knew about it on some stupid deep level. I feel too embarrassed to approach because I think the girl will think i'm stupid for liking her. And everyone in the area will think I'm supid for wanting her.

So I guess when I approach, I feel embarrassed and stupid and it makes me blow it if I think people know what's going on.

Just letting this all out, but man what is my problem? I'm sick of being so uptight.

Anyone else been here and been able to get over it?
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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mothballs

Senior Don Juan
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Well, you don't have to tell your parents or friends about every girl you go out with, just the ones you go out with repeatedly. At your age, just a little younger than me, your parents should be happy to hear you're involved with a woman... your father wants to know he didn't raise a sissy, and your mother wants grandchildren. If they laugh and tease you about it, just don't tell them anymore... **** it.

I used to do this in highschool... partially so my parents would let me hang out with her thinking we were friends only and mostly from embarrassment of having to show that I have a "vulnreable side"... or to avoid being teased about growing up.
 

WhtRbt

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See, the problem now though is not with my parents. I'm totally comfortable with my parents now, but that embarrassing feeling I used to get has transferred to my social life i think.
 

Maeisgood

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I used to have a fear similar to yours, but I finally got over it in high school. Most fears are irrational and nothing more than a mental barrier. One day, people may tease you about not having any girls, which in my mind is much worse. If you don't still live at home, then what others think about you shouldn't matter. I think being called a virgin is worse than having someone basically reciting that childish song,

"WhtRbt and vag sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby and the ba-by carriage!"

When I am afraid of something, I ask myself What is the worst that could happen? What is the probability of that? You deserve to get vag, every single one of your male ancestors got it to make you, so you can as well.
 

Darth

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Maeisgood said:
"WhtRbt and vag sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby and the ba-by carriage!"
Yeah, that's part of my childhood too and has a lot to do with my embarrassment about girls now. Somehow I learned when I was younger that people kissing and stuff like that was "mushy stuff" or "girly stuff" and if was caught watching a love scene in a movie for example, laughed at or teased my siblings....

The problem is when this embarrassment sticks after puberty (which it did).
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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