seethehoop
Don Juan
- Joined
- Jun 13, 2012
- Messages
- 182
- Reaction score
- 8
A female freind of mine sent me this email this morning, she knows about my PUA antics and ideas so she thought this would be an interesting read for me. I must say that after reading it my first thoughts were that alot of the advice being given is the same advice we men are being given and as such if both parties are to partake in this practice are we not just going to end up in a stalemate situation.
I thought I would post this for your thoughts on the matter.
Email below:
Are you chasing after a man and don't even know it?
I know how frustrating it is to sit back and let a man drift away. Every single one of us women instinctively want to go run after a man, grab him and thrown him to the ground, rather than let him get away.
We know we're not supposed to be chasing after him, and yet it's so hard not to. In this new, modern era, we're all confused:
We all get the lines between friendship and romance blurred
We think being "friendly" is the same as showing interest in a man
We're taught to think that reaching out to a man is necessary
We're taught to think that if we act "casual" a man won't notice that we're actually chasing him
But, the truth is, we are.
If we're feeling just "friendly," if we really don't feel attracted to, or interested, in a man, then WHATEVER WE DO, our "vibe" will be just "friendly."
But, if we actually ARE attracted to a man, if we ARE interested in him in a romantic way, and then we try to ACT "friendly" - it's going to come off as fake.
It's going to come across to him as inauthentic. It's going to come across to him like chasing. And, it's going to make him feel all kinds of things, but none of those things will be what you want him to feel - attraction for you.
How Do You Know If You're Chasing?
Here are some things we may think of as "friendly," that are actually CHASING a man:
1. Calling Him Up
This includes:
Calling him because you heard or read about something interesting, or because you knew there was a great band playing somewhere, or someone told you about some great event that you want to invite him to or - anything at all
Calling him to ask him why he hasn't called you
Calling him to tell him you're upset that you haven't heard from him
Calling him to give him directions to your home or answering any question he hasn't specifically asked, or giving him any information he hasn't specifically asked for, or offering anything
This does NOT include:
You're having a problem or an emergency, and you can't reach a friend or a relative, and you've been dating him long enough that he's started "future-talking" about things he'd like to do with you and places he'd like to go with you, and you need his help.
Don't be afraid of appearing weak. If you need something - something of course that has nothing to do with the relationship - don't be afraid to ask. This is what being a girl is all about.
2. Initiating Other "Friendly" Contact
This includes:
E-mailing him
Texting him
Facebooking him
Writing him
Sending him a cute card
Dropping by his house
Dropping by his gym
Calling up his friend
...Or in any way attempting to initiate some kind of contact.
3. Moving Things Forward
This includes:
Making suggestions, making plans and then inviting him to come and join you, offering to drive to him, offering to drive on the date, offering to put him up for the night on your couch, or in your bed...
Offering to cook for him, initiating sex, initiating affection (in any way other than smiling with an open heart and body), initiating the "talk" about "where the relationship is going," getting anything having to do with the relationship "started"...
Creating a "special occasion," sending him anything (pictures, mementos, ideas), thinking out loud to him about things you can do together, telling him about things you can do together, and creating things to do together...
...Or, in any way, acting like the social director of the relationship.
4. Asking Him How He "Feels"
This includes, especially, asking him how he feels about "you," or the "relationship."
These are things we do almost without even thinking about it. These are things that feel natural to us. It feels almost weird and unnatural to not do these things. It feels like we're not being "nice."
It feels like we're not being "friendly." It feels like we're going to lose him by not letting him know we're "interested" in him. It feels like we're just letting him slip through our fingers.
And Nothing Could Be Further From The Truth
Everything on the list above is the same as putting a sign on your chest that says "Needy." It smacks of desperation. And, it's just plain not attractive to him.
He may LIKE it. He may go along with it. He may be flattered. He may have no one else around and so he'll date you. He may even come to like you very much. You may even end up in a relationship with him.
But, you will never know how he really feels about you. As long as YOU'RE the one running the show, he may follow, but he'll never feel inspired. And, you will never feel adored. This is the point where you will find yourself up late at night crying and wondering why he doesn't want to commit to you.
How To Feel Adored...As You Should Be
The total, complete opposite of this is being a Modern Siren:
A Siren will lure a man to her without doing any of those things that so many of us think are so necessary to do
A Siren inspires a man to chase her because of how SHE feels about herself
A Siren not only knows how to magnetically attract a man to chase HER, but can LET a man chase her
A Siren knows how to receive what a man wants to give her - which is everything
A Siren expresses herself in words and with her body language so that a man can FEEL her down to his toes
A Siren is a woman who loves herself so much that she can turn even the parts of herself she may think are ugly and unpleasant and difficult and painful - into her most powerful assets
A Siren knows that what a man craves is EMOTION. Emotion that he can't find in himself. Emotion that will make him feel like a whole man. A man is used to what he thinks of as "drama" in a woman - and Emotion is something completely different than drama. Emotion is the missing piece for a man
Being in the presence of a woman who can feel her feelings - no matter what they are - makes a man feel both real and safe, all at the same time. It feels utterly magical to him.
Being a Siren is about luring a man. About allowing him to chase her without being "passive" or "powerless."
And being a Siren will make you the magical creature who can make a man whole.
If you'd like to know exactly what to DO and SAY in order to embody those Siren qualities I just mentioned, try my program.
You'll learn exactly how to BE around a man so that he feels utterly mesmerized and attracted, without you having to do any chasing, pursuing, calling, cajoling or enticing. It's a very authentic and feminine way of being, and it is exactly what attracts a man and tugs at his heart:
Magnetize Him
The next time you're tempted to do any of those things I've listed in the "Chasing List" - and you're tempted to think of any of those things as something nice and friendly and womanly, and something that a man would like - don't do it.
You will begin to feel like a Siren - like the magical creature you are, just because you're a woman - when you start practicing just knowing that you have everything a man needs without having to do anything at all.
My program will teach you exactly how to do this, step-by-step.
And once you learn the Tools, you won't feel the need to "make something happen" with a man - the right man will make sure he lets you know how much he adores you.
I thought I would post this for your thoughts on the matter.
Email below:
Are you chasing after a man and don't even know it?
I know how frustrating it is to sit back and let a man drift away. Every single one of us women instinctively want to go run after a man, grab him and thrown him to the ground, rather than let him get away.
We know we're not supposed to be chasing after him, and yet it's so hard not to. In this new, modern era, we're all confused:
We all get the lines between friendship and romance blurred
We think being "friendly" is the same as showing interest in a man
We're taught to think that reaching out to a man is necessary
We're taught to think that if we act "casual" a man won't notice that we're actually chasing him
But, the truth is, we are.
If we're feeling just "friendly," if we really don't feel attracted to, or interested, in a man, then WHATEVER WE DO, our "vibe" will be just "friendly."
But, if we actually ARE attracted to a man, if we ARE interested in him in a romantic way, and then we try to ACT "friendly" - it's going to come off as fake.
It's going to come across to him as inauthentic. It's going to come across to him like chasing. And, it's going to make him feel all kinds of things, but none of those things will be what you want him to feel - attraction for you.
How Do You Know If You're Chasing?
Here are some things we may think of as "friendly," that are actually CHASING a man:
1. Calling Him Up
This includes:
Calling him because you heard or read about something interesting, or because you knew there was a great band playing somewhere, or someone told you about some great event that you want to invite him to or - anything at all
Calling him to ask him why he hasn't called you
Calling him to tell him you're upset that you haven't heard from him
Calling him to give him directions to your home or answering any question he hasn't specifically asked, or giving him any information he hasn't specifically asked for, or offering anything
This does NOT include:
You're having a problem or an emergency, and you can't reach a friend or a relative, and you've been dating him long enough that he's started "future-talking" about things he'd like to do with you and places he'd like to go with you, and you need his help.
Don't be afraid of appearing weak. If you need something - something of course that has nothing to do with the relationship - don't be afraid to ask. This is what being a girl is all about.
2. Initiating Other "Friendly" Contact
This includes:
E-mailing him
Texting him
Facebooking him
Writing him
Sending him a cute card
Dropping by his house
Dropping by his gym
Calling up his friend
...Or in any way attempting to initiate some kind of contact.
3. Moving Things Forward
This includes:
Making suggestions, making plans and then inviting him to come and join you, offering to drive to him, offering to drive on the date, offering to put him up for the night on your couch, or in your bed...
Offering to cook for him, initiating sex, initiating affection (in any way other than smiling with an open heart and body), initiating the "talk" about "where the relationship is going," getting anything having to do with the relationship "started"...
Creating a "special occasion," sending him anything (pictures, mementos, ideas), thinking out loud to him about things you can do together, telling him about things you can do together, and creating things to do together...
...Or, in any way, acting like the social director of the relationship.
4. Asking Him How He "Feels"
This includes, especially, asking him how he feels about "you," or the "relationship."
These are things we do almost without even thinking about it. These are things that feel natural to us. It feels almost weird and unnatural to not do these things. It feels like we're not being "nice."
It feels like we're not being "friendly." It feels like we're going to lose him by not letting him know we're "interested" in him. It feels like we're just letting him slip through our fingers.
And Nothing Could Be Further From The Truth
Everything on the list above is the same as putting a sign on your chest that says "Needy." It smacks of desperation. And, it's just plain not attractive to him.
He may LIKE it. He may go along with it. He may be flattered. He may have no one else around and so he'll date you. He may even come to like you very much. You may even end up in a relationship with him.
But, you will never know how he really feels about you. As long as YOU'RE the one running the show, he may follow, but he'll never feel inspired. And, you will never feel adored. This is the point where you will find yourself up late at night crying and wondering why he doesn't want to commit to you.
How To Feel Adored...As You Should Be
The total, complete opposite of this is being a Modern Siren:
A Siren will lure a man to her without doing any of those things that so many of us think are so necessary to do
A Siren inspires a man to chase her because of how SHE feels about herself
A Siren not only knows how to magnetically attract a man to chase HER, but can LET a man chase her
A Siren knows how to receive what a man wants to give her - which is everything
A Siren expresses herself in words and with her body language so that a man can FEEL her down to his toes
A Siren is a woman who loves herself so much that she can turn even the parts of herself she may think are ugly and unpleasant and difficult and painful - into her most powerful assets
A Siren knows that what a man craves is EMOTION. Emotion that he can't find in himself. Emotion that will make him feel like a whole man. A man is used to what he thinks of as "drama" in a woman - and Emotion is something completely different than drama. Emotion is the missing piece for a man
Being in the presence of a woman who can feel her feelings - no matter what they are - makes a man feel both real and safe, all at the same time. It feels utterly magical to him.
Being a Siren is about luring a man. About allowing him to chase her without being "passive" or "powerless."
And being a Siren will make you the magical creature who can make a man whole.
If you'd like to know exactly what to DO and SAY in order to embody those Siren qualities I just mentioned, try my program.
You'll learn exactly how to BE around a man so that he feels utterly mesmerized and attracted, without you having to do any chasing, pursuing, calling, cajoling or enticing. It's a very authentic and feminine way of being, and it is exactly what attracts a man and tugs at his heart:
Magnetize Him
The next time you're tempted to do any of those things I've listed in the "Chasing List" - and you're tempted to think of any of those things as something nice and friendly and womanly, and something that a man would like - don't do it.
You will begin to feel like a Siren - like the magical creature you are, just because you're a woman - when you start practicing just knowing that you have everything a man needs without having to do anything at all.
My program will teach you exactly how to do this, step-by-step.
And once you learn the Tools, you won't feel the need to "make something happen" with a man - the right man will make sure he lets you know how much he adores you.
