"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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ElStud gives a little more advice on approaching.

ElStud

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Hey, well, I don't know, I was just in the mood to write some advice, from some of the recent approaches I've done.

Approaching.

What can I say about approaching? Well, get over your anxiety or atleast make it so that you have less anxiety. This is something that can be done by approaching a lot. Seriously though, challenge yourself to approach 10 or 20 girls a day, doesn't matter if you get rejected, doesn't matter if she's not interested, this isn't about results, this is about killing your anxiety. As you get less and less anxiety about approaching, you start doing something known as right action, where you just see a girl and go up there. No thoughts, no gameplan, you just go up and talk to her. So basically kill the anxiety.

Letting your intent be known.

When you're approaching you got to let your intent be known, whether through kino or just straight saying "Hey, I thought you were cute and I had to talk to you". I do both, but see what works for you. The reason you have to do this, is because if you're not kinoing and she doesn't know you're attracted, she might think you're just trying to be a friend. And you can STILL have good conversations with a chick in these sets, but most likely it won't go anywhere, unless A. You go in direct or B. You kino.

If she blows you off, it's not always your fault, just move on

So have you ever been walking and approached a set and she's just straight like "I'm really sorry but I'm studying" or "Um... do I know you?" like you walk up and she's just not that interested? Well don't let it bother you and just move on. For if a girl does that, it's most likely her problem or something. Who knows, she could have class in 10 mins or hell, her dog could've died. Whatever, it's not your problem, move on to the next set and stop thinking about it because there will always be sets like these.

I've just learned to move on from these kind of sets. Sometimes I'll be walking get interest from a ton of approaches and I hit one of these sets or maybe a few of these sets. I just move on from them and get interest from other girls after that. My whole mindset on it is "Other girls are talking to me, so why not you?". It is possible to plow through those sets, but that's not my style and I just generally ignore them and move on.

Have genuine fun with her.

When you go up to a set, it's so much more fun for you and the girl if you go up there and rather than just trying to get in her pants, have REAL sexually charged, fun with her. Now does being genuine mean that you can't be sexual? Hell no. Infact, being sexual and naturally escalating and that stuff can be apart of the genuine fun. I mean if you're a genuinely "sexual" guy and you're not kinoing and stuff, you're not being genuine. I see it as just having a genuinely good time with the girl while you're there. Besides, when you start becoming genuine overall, you stop having the need for lines and you can just naturally interact with women.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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sodbuster

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Why? Haven't we suffered enough? Or are you trying to lead newcomers down your road to frustration? SERIOUSLY, this is like a whitebelt teaching a self-defense course
 

ElStud

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sodbuster said:
Why? Haven't we suffered enough? Or are you trying to lead newcomers down your road to frustration? SERIOUSLY, this is like a whitebelt teaching a self-defense course
Ah, so negative. Take it or don't. If you take it, it'll work as this is from infield experience. If you don't great and the world moves on.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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rushing dude 123

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Sounds like a good post ElSTUD, i can't understand why u havn't posted a date FR seeing from this, it looks like u know what ur doing. To b honest though, don't think intent has to come on so hardcore, u can take the "cute" out and it is still fine, no need to compliment her to attempt to get into her panties. And the girl to b honest knows why ur there. Got to get the right amount of intent with the right amount of fun and u got urself dj right there.

Btw congradulations happy birthday.
 

ElStud

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rushing dude 123 said:
Sounds like a good post ElSTUD, i can't understand why u havn't posted a date FR seeing from this looks like u know what ur doing. To b honest though, don't think intent has to come on so hardcore, u can take the "cute" out and it is still fine. And the girl to b honest knows why ur there. Got to get the right amount of intent with the right amount of fun and u got urself dj right there.

Btw congradulations happy birthday.
Not all about FR's man. Because of my style I cannot post FR's that will really tell you anything. My FR's would seem like simple conversations, because most of my game is NOT words, it's subcommunication. FR's wouldn't tell you much.

I just love interacting with girls. I'm unapologetic about it, don't care about rejection and yeah, I get interest because of it. I go up there and I'm instantly straightforward with her going in direct and everything. Unlike most guys here, I have FUN with the girl while escalating, while still getting to know her, not simply going up there wanting to get in her pants instantly.

Haters will be haters. They can say "Blah blah you suck ElStud" but in the end, they'd be better off trying it. This game aint all about f*cking women and the haters can't see that. Like most of the people here, they are probably asspirates.

And I disagree with the notion that that's all it takes to become a Don Juan. Being a Don Juan is about FAR MORE than being able to bed women and get success with women.
 

Warrior74

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Your learning man. You know what the game is...and how it should be played...now you're starting to internalise it. Soon it will be second nature to you.

I will say this about approaching. I use the three second rule player supreme taught me. If I see her making eye contact, I smile and she smiles back or locks eyes with me. I will at least go over and say hi and introduce myself. But If I'm getting nothing and she doesn't even see me, I won't approach.

Keep on learning man.

Why? Haven't we suffered enough? Or are you trying to lead newcomers down your road to frustration? SERIOUSLY, this is like a whitebelt teaching a self-defense course
Sometimes on post like this, people are really writing to themselves. The way the Pook stuff was just his way of working out the thoughts in his head and sharing them. If Elstud has learned what he posted here then he's come miles from where he started right? And that would be a good thing no?
 

ElStud

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Warrior74 said:
Your learning man. You know what the game is...and how it should be played...now you're starting to internalise it. Soon it will be second nature to you.

I will say this about approaching. I use the three second rule player supreme taught me. If I see her making eye contact, I smile and she smiles back or locks eyes with me. I will at least go over and say hi and introduce myself. But If I'm getting nothing and she doesn't even see me, I won't approach.

Keep on learning man.



Sometimes on post like this, people are really writing to themselves. The way the Pook stuff was just his way of working out the thoughts in his head and sharing them. If Elstud has learned what he posted here then he's come miles from where he started right? And that would be a good thing no?
Whatever works for you man. Thing is, even if you don't agree with how someone else games, you should atleast respect it. The advice from this post is from my experience what works for me. Take it or don't. Simple as that.

I doubt the people hating even read through the whole post they probably said "OMG! THIS IS ABOUT ACTUALLY HAVING FUN AND NOT BEING A DESPERATE ASSPIRATE! THIS MIGHT ACTUALLY HELP ME BECOME A GUY WHO CAN NATURALLY GAME WOMEN AND NOT USE ROUTINES, THIS SUCKS, I WANT TO BE AN ASSPIRATE".
 

rushing dude 123

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hmmmm, well i don't want to write a defintion of dj everytime i report, but i expected u to read along the lines, a dj goes for what he wants aka his intent, but in the same sense a dj needs to control his intent using his brain aka the fun. To get what u want u have to use both the heart and the brain. For example a guy working his muscle to the max everyday will not win the fight, because in some cases he didn't rest the muscles when needed. A dj in my opinion is someone that gets what he wants ( no i am not saying its all girls el stud) and if u have intent u must want something correct. I could go in more philsophical debate on this....but i hope from that u understand what i was implying.

And seeing u were talking about subcommunication (most of ur game) which is what i was picking up on, is why i suggested u do not use the word cute, why do u need to, if shes picked up on it already?

And i never said it was all about Fr's i noticed u posted a lot of FR on approaches and i can see u want to take ur game further past the approaches, but i was just wondering what the problem was from stopping u, seeing u know what ur talking about on the OP.

For Fr's no need to put all ur sub communication on, we can tell how the sub communication was by the girls reaction and reading what u said.

And Dude just relax on the everyone hating u, no need to mention it every post. Not all of us r attacking u.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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ElStud

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rushing dude 123 said:
hmmmm, well i don't want to write a defintion of dj everytime i report, but i expected u to read along the lines, a dj goes for what he wants aka his intent, but in the same sense a dj needs to control his intent using his brain aka the fun. To get what u want u have to use both the heart and the brain. For example a guy working his muscle to the max everyday will not win the fight, because in some cases he didn't rest the muscles when needed. A dj in my opinion is someone that gets what he wants ( no i am not saying its all girls el stud) and if u have intent u must want something correct. I could go in more philsophical debate on this....but i hope from that u understand what i was implying.

And seeing u were talking about subcommunication (most of ur game) which is what i was picking up on, is why i suggested u do not use the word cute, why do u need to, if shes picked up on it already?

And i never said it was all about Fr's i noticed u posted a lot of FR on approaches and i can see u want to take ur game further past the approaches, but i was just wondering what the problem was from stopping u, seeing u know what ur talking about on the OP.

For Fr's no need to put all ur sub communication on, we can tell how the sub communication was by the girls reaction and reading what u said.
Ah, good definition. I guess in a sense everyone has there definition of DJ, which is cool. I was basically saying that it's a misconception that being a DJ is all about getting becoming a guy who gets ass, but yeah, good definition.

For me, I tell her she's cute JUST to make sure she knows that I'm going in there with a sexual intent. It is something that could probably be skipped, but I find some interactions for me go better if I open using that.

And reason I don't actually work on going "further" in the game is I'm just kind of afraid. I've been in interactions where kino is great and everything and I COULD go for the kiss, but instead I just eject. Yeah, that's something I've got to work on.
 

Warrior74

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ElStud said:
Whatever works for you man. Thing is, even if you don't agree with how someone else games, you should atleast respect it. The advice from this post is from my experience what works for me. Take it or don't. Simple as that.

I doubt the people hating even read through the whole post they probably said "OMG! THIS IS ABOUT ACTUALLY HAVING FUN AND NOT BEING A DESPERATE ASSPIRATE! THIS MIGHT ACTUALLY HELP ME BECOME A GUY WHO CAN NATURALLY GAME WOMEN AND NOT USE ROUTINES, THIS SUCKS, I WANT TO BE AN ASSPIRATE".

Listen up kid. I was giving you praise for learning and making this post. It wasn't an attack. And I was sharing with you my technique that works for me on approaching. So follow your own advice and when people give you experience, take it or don't simple as that. You need to get the e-chip off your shoulder, maybe I worded it wrong, I'm not the most eloquent guy on here, but it wasn't an attack or diss on you youngbuck.
 

SuavePlaya

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oldschooler said:
El Stud, I hate how PUA emphasises 'Cold Approaching', it's stupid.
Why can't you guys just meet woman through friends like normal people and build a nice social circle till you approach naturally.

I see all these guys trying to cold approach, what is that, it's just a game.
Meet people through parties, barbeques, gatherings, friends, sporting events and other activities.

Cold approaching is like throwing a child with floaties on in a shark infested river rapid.

So much emphasis it's stupid, I'm successful and having a great time in this area, sure i'll say hello to that girl on the bus and maybe get her number but dam it's just not as good as meeting them normally...
Why limit yourself to a few occasion? If cold approaching is what these guys like to do and helping them grow out of their shell then so be it. Elstud FR's are only proof of evidence that your game or advice works dude. If you have no FR's what value do your words hold. I have no FR's because I barely ever cold approach unless i'am in my own zone.
 

Duffdog

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not simply going up there wanting to get in her pants instantly.
I can't believe you f$%King typed that after you had a post about "how you are just going to tell them what you want and get laid." Did you actually ask ANY girl to go home with you? You didn't, huh! I have a feeling that you are going to be one of those 30 yr old guys who just won't get laid because its too "wierd" for them. It seems like you actually want to be a chump.
 

oakraiderz2

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ElStud said:
Not all about FR's man. Because of my style I cannot post FR's that will really tell you anything. My FR's would seem like simple conversations, because most of my game is NOT words, it's subcommunication. FR's wouldn't tell you much.

I just love interacting with girls. I'm unapologetic about it, don't care about rejection and yeah, I get interest because of it. I go up there and I'm instantly straightforward with her going in direct and everything. Unlike most guys here, I have FUN with the girl while escalating, while still getting to know her, not simply going up there wanting to get in her pants instantly.

Haters will be haters. They can say "Blah blah you suck ElStud" but in the end, they'd be better off trying it. This game aint all about f*cking women and the haters can't see that. Like most of the people here, they are probably asspirates.

And I disagree with the notion that that's all it takes to become a Don Juan. Being a Don Juan is about FAR MORE than being able to bed women and get success with women.
A FR is to talk about a date or some interaction with a girl AFTER you get a phone number. I dont get why you think every guy here, including myself, only want to have sex with girls and dont have fun escalating. Have you escalated to a kiss? No. Its a blast to flirt with girls and all that jazz. Also, people wouldnt have a girlfriend for 6 months or more if they only wanted sex and didnt have a good time with her. Again, youll be threated by this for some odd reason and call me an asspirate with your eloquent rhetoric as usual. Its cool that you can approach, like ive said before. But you even said theres FAR more then just getting girls. If you feel that way why do you feel so threated by everyone here? Even when people agree with you, you yell at them and get offended. But what do i know, im just an asspirate with a girlfriend whos hotter and more cool of a girl than youll ever smell.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Aragon034

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Oh man, after reading the OP i'm SOOO tempted to write a paper on it. Like an actual Academic paper on the dangers of overanalysation and self-delusion. I know university student's who'd LOVE to see this as a case study.

You yourself Mike have said that you wouldn't take advice from people with less FRs than you and obviously no experience in game (I.E. KBJ) Mind you, that's pretty much your exact words to me in a thread you posted before and unless you're going to go to each and every thread you've ever written and edit them (which i wouldn't be surprised if you did) there's an entire record of your 2000+

Yet here you say FR's mean nothing? Decide already you ignorant attention wh0re! Have you noticed that maybe 5% of the people who post in your threads are people who actually are at th elevel that they can't approach and would actually get good info from that? the other 95% is people who've been telling you for months if not years that there is more to DJ than approaching, dates, or even girls in general.

Of all the posts, Warrior's was by FAR the most diplomatic, and what did you do? Ignored it, and completely missed the point!

FYI, This post is less aimed directly at you Mike, and more for any newbies that cross this thread and wonder why the greater majority of posts are telling you to shove it.
 

scribblec

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Aragon034 said:
Oh man, after reading the OP i'm SOOO tempted to write a paper on it. Like an actual Academic paper on the dangers of overanalysation and self-delusion. I know university student's who'd LOVE to see this as a case study.

You yourself Mike have said that you wouldn't take advice from people with less FRs than you and obviously no experience in game (I.E. KBJ) Mind you, that's pretty much your exact words to me in a thread you posted before and unless you're going to go to each and every thread you've ever written and edit them (which i wouldn't be surprised if you did) there's an entire record of your 2000+

Yet here you say FR's mean nothing? Decide already you ignorant attention wh0re! Have you noticed that maybe 5% of the people who post in your threads are people who actually are at th elevel that they can't approach and would actually get good info from that? the other 95% is people who've been telling you for months if not years that there is more to DJ than approaching, dates, or even girls in general.

Of all the posts, Warrior's was by FAR the most diplomatic, and what did you do? Ignored it, and completely missed the point!

FYI, This post is less aimed directly at you Mike, and more for any newbies that cross this thread and wonder why the greater majority of posts are telling you to shove it.

honestly wtf does el stud know, wow he can talk to girls he doesnt know but if it leads to nowhere what does it all mean? its like someone who doesnt know how to swim teaching u deep sea diving
 

ElStud

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Sigh the negativity and immaturity of these boards. A lot of you guys have far more problems than women. Anyway, if you want to take it, take it. If you don't, then don't.

El Stud, I hate how PUA emphasises 'Cold Approaching', it's stupid.
Why can't you guys just meet woman through friends like normal people and build a nice social circle till you approach naturally.

I see all these guys trying to cold approach, what is that, it's just a game.
Meet people through parties, barbeques, gatherings, friends, sporting events and other activities.

Cold approaching is like throwing a child with floaties on in a shark infested river rapid.

So much emphasis it's stupid, I'm successful and having a great time in this area, sure i'll say hello to that girl on the bus and maybe get her number but dam it's just not as good as meeting them normally...
And what happens when your social circle leaves you man? See that's the problem. You'll also never really have a choice of what women you get, you just get whatever is in your "circle". But whatever works for you. This is a seduction forum though and one of the things emphasized in seduction, has always been cold approaching. Teaching us how to "Pick Up" women. Not how to get them in a social circle like every other or as you call "normal" guy.

And so basically you're saying, Mystery Method guys, RSD and basically almost every other seduction guy is NOT normal. Hmm... screw being normal, I want to be myself, I want to have choice and most of all, I like approaching women, so that's what I'll do.

And what about those guys who have no friends? See, that's the problem, you assume all guys "have" a social circle.
 

SuavePlaya

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Elstud whats the point if you don't close you know how stupid you sound. That's like me talking to a girl that's taking my food order how did i accomplish anything out of the interaction dude if i'am not hitting it? I hear you out when you say take my advice or not, but you gotta remember this is a forum other people will give their take on a certain topic also, so don't expect people just to accept every word you say. It would be a different situation if this was actually your site. When people do not agree with you I always see you pms, and that shows lack of confidence in yourself then you say everyone else has the problems. I do agree cold approaching has it's positives and negatives. The positives is that it will help you get out your shell with being afraid of talking to women and it's your choice of what woman you want to game. The negatives is that the success rate is kinda bad for guys that aren't good looking. To me it really boils down to what your goal is when you are going out on the field. I'am not really sure what is your goal El stud with women.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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