Eliminate desire or not?

Krassus

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#1
I'm seeing conflicting advice here. Some people say that you should embrace your sexuality and admit to yourself and the girl that you want to fvck her, others say you should eliminate desire and act like you don't want her. Personally, i act like i want her, but not NEED her. There are always other girls who have what she does, if not more.
 
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#2
good question, i think we need a master opinion
 

bman

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#3
i would never actually tell a girl straight up that i wanted to **** her, unless she asked. i would try doing it. actions speak louder than words.
 

Starman

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#5
The eliminate desire is from a movie .. not from the Bible...but I read a good post a while back where it said to..Embrace your sexuality..flirt with the chick..Then SUDDENLY PULL BACK!

Act like you have NO sexual interest in the girl..

she will think "he was hitting on me the 1st time what happened?????"

it will drive her nuts
 

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Ares

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#6
its not that hard

ok, here's my oppinion, if you would eliminate all desire you wouldnt care about girls, not a single one, but we dont want to once again become that little boy with big eyes and saliva dripping from finding a pornmagazine and seeing ( . )( . ) and (#). so like iqqi said its all about self-control, you want her-you make her want you, simple as that;)
 

DjDreamer

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#7
The guy that wrote "embrace your sexuality", is the same guy that wrote "kill that desperation". The auther is Pook. His excellent rhetoric provides camouflage for his contradicton.

It's not possible to be horny and not needy at the same time (unless of course you're a "think about sex and have no sex"-sexual)

A man with a strong will doesn't base his entire life on quenching a perticular desire.

An honorable man's self worth is not dependant on a girl opening up her legs to receive his manhood.

Sex is nice just like finding extra change in a pay phone slut. The first pleasure is a focus of obsession by many and the next pleasure is hardly a concern when it's not obtained.
 

WatchMeWalk

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#8
Originally posted by DjDreamer
The guy that wrote "embrace your sexuality", is the same guy that wrote "kill that desperation". The auther is Pook. His excellent rhetoric provides camouflage for his contradicton.
What Pook meant was, a horny guy guided by his sexuality has an edge over the AFC who needs to conquer a woman for the sake of his fragile ego. Each has a totally different mindset.
 

Ar7

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#9
Good question Krassus:

Eliminating desier comes into play when you are trying to get your foot inside the door.

Embracing your sexuality comes into play after you have your foot inside the door.

It works out perfectly, you can be open about wanting to fu.ck, withough looking like a desperado.

Trick is you want sex, but you are not desperate about it, you want sex but it aint such a biggie, it is something that mature people do all the time. And this is exactly how you want her to think. If you stand firm and strong behind your mindset, mostlikely she will follow.

YOUR mindset: Sex is no biggie, we aint in high school anymore
HER mindset: i guess it isnt

The combination of the above two mindset = SEX :D

Ok did that make any sense?

I am in a rush, finishing work soon, its friday again fianlly :D
 
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#10
You are on top of it

Man i think you should listen to your own head as you are thinking very right..

You can act wanting her but never need a woman.Very mature of you and iqqi said something true. If you control yourself and respect yourself you will be in control of the situation as her IL will rise and if you put some seduction into it "BOOM!!!" you are a DJ.

You are on the right path ..keep it up...now just be yourself and neverforget no one especially no women is better than you to sweat her over...Let ME KNOW WHEN YOU HIT THAT PEACH !

Sincerely

Tiburon
 
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dionysius_d

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#11
see it

Being aware of your desire is the first step.. as you said, admitting to yourself.

There is no need to admit to another, if you are aware of yourself, its enough.

After you allow it to be, and stop fighting it, then you are in a position to let it go or let it be.. but you must fully feel it first. ITs not good paying superficial attention, or glossing over and saying "i don't care" when you are still pushing it down inside.

At that point, it will no longer be so important, and your attitude will be less rigid, and less crazy for the desire. Finally you will not care.
 

squirrels

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#12
Originally posted by iqqi
Self control is the answer. Its all self control.

Now if you can mix that with some seduction...that is a lethal combination.
Iqqi's right.

You can have as much sexual desire as you want. Just make sure your desire doesn't have YOU, instead.
 

Pook

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#13
I replied to this a long time ago and it used to be in the archive. I guess, now, that since it isn't, the question comes up again.

Originally posted by DjDreamer
The guy that wrote "embrace your sexuality", is the same guy that wrote "kill that desperation". The auther is Pook. His excellent rhetoric provides camouflage for his contradicton.

It's not possible to be horny and not needy at the same time (unless of course you're a "think about sex and have no sex"-sexual)
Some people ask, "Why does Pook hammer the same points again and again?" just read the above. There is no contradiction. Keep in mind also that the time between those two posts was YEARS. I'm a bit wiser now but the same principle applies.

Look at it like this:

Years ago, when I first came to this forum, I was a Nice Guy. How am I going to get the women? One thing I said back then was KINOING. I said it because IT WORKED. I said, "Kinoing turns you into a SEXUAL BEING to her. If you do NOT kino her, she will see you sexually as a mannequin. Why? Because mannequins do not initiate kino."

Years later...

I do not kino a chick, certainly not on dates at first.

"Contradiction! Pook is contradicted!"

What you're forgetting is that after years, I am no longer that old Nice Guy.

The Nice Guy comes across to the woman as BORING and sexually a zero. Nice Guys also seem safe. So when I started kinoing and stuff, I got an INSTANT REACTION from her. Why, all of a sudden I am a Sexual Being!

One difference from those old Nice Guy days is that I've gained 30 + pounds of muscle mass, dress better, talk better, more confidant, etc. I am ALREADY a Sexual Being. If I start kinoing a girl now, I will be seen as coming on too strong and too desperate.

This is why I now agree wtih Anti-Dump in that archived thread. I'm not FOR or AGAINST kino. I also wouldn't recommend Nice Guys to act like how I am now.

So now I disregard talking about kino or 'how you say things' and just talk about sexuality. I'm already a sexual being now, there is no need for me to kino a girl. She will know I'm a sexual being already. I do not need to touch her.

But the Nice Guy needs to embrace his sexuality. He is a sexual dud. You need to LOOK, ACT, and THINK like a guy.

If I put up a 'Sexuality' scale, some guys would be at LOW sexuality (Nice Guys) while some guys would be at the HIGHER end. I honestly can't say the specifics of how one should act or say to a girl because everyone is different points on this scale. For the Nice Guy, kinoing goes a long way. But for me now, it is overkill.

The 'DESIRELESS' is to be NOT NEEDY. You WANT her but do not NEED her. It is a big difference.

DESPERATE guys need a girl to 'complete themselves' to 'make themselves feel happy'. I say these guys got it BACKWARD. They ought to complete themselves and make themselves happy THEN go for the chicks.

Live. Laugh. Love.

Notice the order? Get your life together, make yourself happy, THEN go for the chicks.

(Some people complain that it is work. Well, what is the point of having a girlfriend or a fleet of women if you have no direction in life and chronically melancholy? Defeats the purpose. Women are to enhance your life. FOOLS think the women will DEFINE their life.)

I think 90% of all the problems on this board is because they MIX UP the order.
 

Helter Skelter

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#14
Pook

Well said, I couldn't agree more.

It has always bothered me however that 95% of the really hot chicks where I live, only seem to date really good looking guys.

Which leaves tons of average looking guys competing for the remaining 5%.

I've seen some very famous comedians on TV, talk about if being funny and having a great personality is so important, how come most of the women are throwing themselves at guys like Brad Pitt and Tom Selleck and not us?

I guess this ties in with the desire topic.
 
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legolas

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#15
Originally posted by Starman
The eliminate desire is from a movie .. not from the Bible...but I read a good post a while back where it said to..Embrace your sexuality..flirt with the chick..Then SUDDENLY PULL BACK!

Act like you have NO sexual interest in the girl..

she will think "he was hitting on me the 1st time what happened?????"

it will drive her nuts
I've used the exact strategy with amazing results on this low self-esteem girl. I think this is the one kind of girls where it works best. A girl with high self esteem can always next you since she knows she can do better and some attention, which is what flirting gives, doesn't really buy her. The only thing to our advante is that 80% of all females have issues with low self-steem and a poor self-image, even when they are hot, which is why this technique works. Remember the wise phrase that goes "To each his own."
 
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DjDreamer

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#16
Pook, you can get away with giving contradictions/contrasts with your thoughts because you embrace no philosophy.

Originally posted by Pook: They ought to complete themselves and make themselves happy THEN go for the chicks.

Live. Laugh. Love.

Notice the order? Get your life together, make yourself happy, THEN go for the chicks.
True, women are the icning on the cake. They're like extra change found in a pay phone slut. They're simply a pleasure.

It's pathetic when a man's self worth is dependant on a woman's approval. It's sad when a man is impatient with obtaining progress. It's sickening when a man is desperate.

A better man has a better woman, a better job, a better state of being...bettering oneself is lovely...
 

sAxyguy83

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#17
I think Krassus had it right from the start of this thread - it's a question of moderation. Too little interest shown, she figures you don't want her, and therefore walks away. Too much, you come across as needy, desperate, or downright scary, and she RUNS away. Like so many other things, the true key is to figure out the balance point, and not stray too far towards either extreme.
 

Pook

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#19
Hi Helter!

I know where you're coming from. It seems so frustrating.

When I go through my old highschool year book, I remember who all the 'popular guys' were. One realization was that, "they look like men!" Apparently, they physically matured faster.

Something like THIS is out of anyone's control. In your early twenties seems to be the time when the bone structure changes in the face and you stop looking like Freak Boy. At least it was like that for me.

You can change a LOT with your body. The only thing I think might be impossible is height. But you can gain mass, lose fat, modify your hair, clothing, and even increase the size of your Oscar Meyer Weiner.

I don't look at beauty as most people do. Beauty is personality. I understand why Oscar Wilde never said, 'beautiful person' but always 'beautiful personality' when describing someone gorgeous.

I don't think beauty and personality are two different things, like a Descartes body and mind. They are singular.

Have you noticed that really hot girls just stand there? I ask them, "What about your personality?" and the say, "It's wonderful. Can't you SEE it?"

A woman doesn't notice 'beautiful' people, well they do, but not in the way we want them to. A woman notices the sexualized males. In other words, you can get a 4.5 on hotornot and get women. You can be a MODEL and be all alone.

Most males do not look like guys. They look androgenous. They look like everyone else. There is NOTHING DIFFERENT about them. They ACT the same, eat the same things, etc. etc. You want to look like A GUY and ACT like a guy. I remember one guy crying that his girl left him. What did he do for fun? He did 'girl stuff' like watch chick flicks and talk all day on the phone and stay inside. That's not a GUY. Another guy complained about his lack of women. But he weighs only 125, skiny frail thing. Yes, we understand overweight but if you do not look like a guy and you are always 'skinny', GAIN SOME WEIGHT / MUSCLE.

(Years ago, when I started to change, this girl always saw me as her 'younger brother'. In ********, this means, "I consider sex wtih you to be incest." One day, I got pissed about this guy and SHOVED HIM THROUGH THE WALL. Well, ever since then, she looked at me differently. I was Nice Guy then but I let my emotions come out. In the end, I became Humanized (it's odd. I don't see my change as becoming more Don Juan, I see it as becoming more Human.)

One of my surprises was that this 'beauty as personality' is acknoledged in the Modeling Industry. You think modeling is just a factor of genetics? WRONG. Yeah, there are some requirements like height and such. There is such emphasis on personality in the modeling industry. The model must penetrate the lens. One agency I know of is sending male models to photo shoots with 5 'o clock shadows and such. A guy comes in with shaved chest, bleached hair and such. They tell him to cut off that colored hair, let your hair grow and tone up.

The point is for you to look and act like a GUY rather than some adrogenous. "But Pook, what about those guys the girls fawn over that have long sweeping hair, are thin, and such?" Why does that look work too? Because it is combining FEMININE characteristics. The male is still sexual, just more in a blended male/female way. The point is to look like a sexualized being then a 'powder'.

Do SOMETHING. Run, swim, do weights, ANYTHING but be in your android form. Next time you see a hot girl with her boyfriend, take your eyes off the girl and study the guy. How is he acting? What does he look like?

After a while, it should all make sense.
 

Pook

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#20
Originally posted by DjDreamer
Pook, you can get away with giving contradictions/contrasts with your thoughts because you embrace no philosophy.
hahahaha I don't know if the 'embrace no philosophy' was to be critical or not. But it is SPOT ON!

My women problems always seemed rooted in philosophy. I'm happy to molt off that wordy strait-jacket.

You guys can go chant your philosophies. As for me, I will be flesh-and-blood.
 
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