Eliciting eye contact...

[Ricky]

I have this weird need for eye contact to feel like I"m doing good.

The problem is some days I 'll get a fair amount of it and others very little at all.

So my specific questions are the following:

1) Do you find you get less eye contact if you are actively seeking it? For some reason when I try to get it, I don't get it, but if I am ignoring a girl for some reason (maybe I am just focused on a task or something, they will start to look at me)

2) Are women in relationships or married considerably less likely to make eye contact with guys.

3) Why am I so obsessed with eye contact, especially in non-bar or non traditional pickup situations. I have to admit I love the eye contact when I get it, but I feel bad if I'm not getting any.

 

[becker]

If anything, eye contact with women should be one of the easier things you'll do, because to me, all women seem to be seeking it from men just as actively, if not more.

If the girl happens to be shy, however, this would be one case where I feel that she may not be that receptive to the whole eye contact bit. She might look at you for a while, but then look away and not talk to you while looking at you, but I'd say don't misinterpret or read into this too much. She's just shy.

Most outgoing girls that I've known have been very consistent with the eye contact. I think it certainly also depends on how attractive you are physically. Basically, here's a formula:

Shy girl + attractive guy = little eye contact
Outgoing girl + attractive guy = lots of eye contact
Shy girl + unattractive guy = no eye contact (but there might be if she's insecure, but she'll keep him as a "friend")
Outgoing girl + unattractive guy = essentially no eye contact

 

[Ricky]

Yes, but you know I think eye contact varies alot depending on the situation you are in.

For example

1) In the street, girls are way less likely to give you eye contact

2) At the gym, sometimes I get really good eye contact and sometime hardly any. Not sure what the story is. Now for the girls that work there, I've seen them check me out, but now I'm old hat to them. But new girls will sometimes, it alot of times seems to be older women now

3) I just hate how sometimes I have alot of chicks check me out and other times I'm invisible!

 

[becker]

Originally posted by Ricky
Yes, but you know I think eye contact varies alot depending on the situation you are in.

For example

1) In the street, girls are way less likely to give you eye contact

2) At the gym, sometimes I get really good eye contact and sometime hardly any. Not sure what the story is. Now for the girls that work there, I've seen them check me out, but now I'm old hat to them. But new girls will sometimes, it alot of times seems to be older women now

Good point actually. On the street, there's less likelihood that a girl even wants to be picked up, and if she does, she'll probably look at you. Same with the gym. I don't go to the gym that often, but when I have, women have usually been in their own little world. They are too focused on making themselves look good to get bogged down with the social thing. Most of the better looking ones have BFs probably anyways. Gym is not a good place to look for prospects in my opinion, since there seems to be a lot of girls with their b*tch shields up.

 

[LJC]

1) I only notice when I'm lookin for it.

2) I have no idea.

3) I feel the same way. For me, that random street eye contact is enjoyable because it is less expected than if it were to occur in a bar or club, which solidifies the idea that I can do it anytime I wish. I feel more empowered because I don't need the props of pumping music and alcohol; Pulling it off with no atmosphere at all.