Elephant in the closet

[thirdtimescharm]

Ok in reading between the lines here and judging from what you are not saying, I am guessing this girl has one of those bodies that is just naturally kind of big or big boned? The kind of girl who really can't lose too much more weight? Am I correct? Because you keep blowing off all of our suggestions on how to get your girl to lose weight, and this is doing exercise and challenge groups with her until she turns from a 5'6" 145 girl to a 5'6" 120 pound girl. So I am guessing your girl is what, 5'10" and 150 pounds and she just naturally has a big body type without being 'fat'? In that case you are screwed and not matter how much you fight it, you will never be able to see past it.

Something like that. She's 5'6" and more than 150. Definitely big-boned, but I don't know how much smaller she can get. I'd say if she were her "optimal" weight, I'd have no problem with that. If she were 5'10" 150, I'd be ecstatic.

 

[cordoncordon]

Something like that. She's 5'6, and more than 150. Definitely big-boned, but I don't know how much smaller she can get. I'd say if she were her "optimal" weight, I'd have no problem with that. If she were 5'10" 150, I'd be ecstatic.

Man if she is only 5'6" and weighs more than 150? No way she can be that big boned. She could stand to lose 20-30 pounds easily. Don't let her fool you on what she tells you about working out a lot or eating healthfully.

She isn't.

 

[Slickster]

If she's truly trying to lose weight it would suck to reject her now only to run into her 6 months later and see her looking great. It's tough to find someone you really connect with.

That being said I guess you have to be the judge on whether she's doing what it takes or if it would even be possible for her to lose any weight.

She needs to be burning more calories than she's taking in. It's pretty simple and hanging out with her for any amount of time you should be able to gauge what is going on here. Yoga alone doesn't sound like it's going to do it here. This chick needs to be running and sweating her a$$ off. Literally

I agree that you can't force attraction.

Maybe you can watch Shallow Hal a few more times or find Anthony Robbins and get hypnotized into only seeing her inner beauty.

P.S. There is a website called mybodygallery.com where you can enter height and weight and see photos of people with different body types. It's interesting to see because for me it really depends on body type (ie. hour glass figure, pear shaped, etc) as to what I find attractive. A chick can be slightly overweight with the right curves and I find that shape more attractive than a much skinnier chick with the wrong body type. Basically what I'm trying to say is that it might not just be her weight that you aren't finding attractive.

 

[Bokanovsky]

This is a very odd thread. Let's say you met some guy who was really funny, smart, outside the box, a good conversationist, etc. Would you want to f*ck him? Assuming you are not gay, of course not. So how is the fat chick any different? You are either attracted to fat chicks or you aren't. If you're not, why would you try to trick yourself into thinking that you are?

 

[Zarky]

OP got oneitis for a fatty.

C'mon man you're 52 you should know better than this. Date other broads, keep this one as part of your harem until you find hotter ones. No woman is that fantastic.

EDIT:

Reread your post. You haven't even boned her yet? WTF is this forum coming to? I don't understand.

EDIT 2:

She was telling me that she recently changed her ways, and while her friends all want to go over every detail of their dating woes (like most women do), she won't talk about things anymore, beyond the minimum, because she doesn't want to get caught up in the details early on.

This means she's gotten pumped and dumped so many times that she doesn't bother bringing up guys until they've been around awhile. It's sad and embarrassing for a woman to talk about a guy and then a week later have to say, "I haven't heard back from him." Imagine doing this over and over and over. A woman will just stop mentioning guys until they've been in her life for a couple of months.

 

[Jitterbug]

Introduce her to Mark's Daily Apple.

I've lost count of how many fat chicks I know who do Yoga to get "fit" and slim. It doesn't work that way. Yoga makes a good supplementary workout to your main training (I do it too) but by itself it's rather useless. Besides, most of getting slimmer is about nutrition, which I bet she sucks at as well (often due to the misinformation we've been bombarded with).

 

[pdx1138]

This is why I never msg women who don't show a full body shot.

Too many times been fooled by a thin face to find out later they have an enormous caboose. I've tried to date bigger girls. Seeing them with no clothing is just sickening.

 

[BeDJ]

This is why I never msg women who don't show a full body shot.

Too many times been fooled by a thin face to find out later they have an enormous caboose. I've tried to date bigger girls. Seeing them with no clothing is just sickening.

I was recovering from PTSD until you posted. Thanks.

Profile Pic
Reality

 

[thirdtimescharm]

OP got oneitis for a fatty.

C'mon man you're 52 you should know better than this. Date other broads, keep this one as part of your harem until you find hotter ones. No woman is that fantastic.

Reread your post. You haven't even boned her yet? WTF is this forum coming to? I don't understand.

I am dating other broads. Was at a Super Bowl party yesterday and had three cards stuffed in to my shirt. It's not oneitis. It's my trying to rectify how much I like her, but realizing I'm likely not going to be able get it up for boning her. Can't I feel bad about that?

This means she's gotten pumped and dumped so many times that she doesn't bother bringing up guys until they've been around awhile. It's sad and embarrassing for a woman to talk about a guy and then a week later have to say, "I haven't heard back from him." Imagine doing this over and over and over. A woman will just stop mentioning guys until they've been in her life for a couple of months.

This makes perfect sense. And that's sad too.

This is a very odd thread. Let's say you met some guy who was really funny, smart, outside the box, a good conversationist, etc. Would you want to f*ck him? Assuming you are not gay, of course not. So how is the fat chick any different? You are either attracted to fat chicks or you aren't. If you're not, why would you try to trick yourself into thinking that you are?

The fat chick is different because she's a woman. And her face is gorgeous. And when I was out sitting across the table from her, I wanted to f*ck her. But then I thought about the caboose, and I realized that I couldn't. I'm not trying to trick myself, since I know I can't. Doesn't mean I can't have feelings for this woman though.

 

[alphamailman]

Pics?

She needs to start giving you 1 to 2 *******s a day.

 

[Atom Smasher]

I've been in a similar situation. Here's the thing... For a relationship to work, you must be attracted physically as well as mentally. You will never be able to overlook the fatness. I've tried several times in my life and each time I've had to surrender to the revulsion for fat that I have.

If both the physical and personality are not attractive to you, you don't have a basis for a satisfying relationship.

 

[Desdinova]

I've tried a few times to get women who were a bit too overweight to lose it. I've failed miserably every time.

Had one gf who was packing on the weight and I encouraged her to hit the exercise bike while she was at my place. Within 30 seconds, she was complaining. If exercise doesn't "feel" good, then the woman isn't going to do it. Hence, yoga.

I don't think I need to "tell her" anything about her weight. She works out. She mentioned she has no "snack food" in her condo. She's mostly vegetarian (still eats fish). For all I know, she might have been a lot bigger, and she's on her way towards being much healthier.

It sounds like that may be the case and she may be worth a shot at keeping around just to see if there's any results. What kind of job does she have? I find that women with sit-down jobs have a harder time trying to keep the weight off (or losing it).

If all else fails, go to a quack doctor, tell him you are having erectile dysfunction, and get a prescription for the blue pill. If you're already concerned about your erection before even fvcking her, then you've already set yourself up for a mushroom c0ck when it's time to stick it in.

 

[SecondHalf]

OP,

Know this, she'll struggle her entire life with her weight.
We age, we're all going to be kind of ugly some day, but obesity ... that we can control. In that she has not controlled it is a little concerning.

I dated a post fatty for 8 months, and although she had lost most of her weight, it ended up getting quite difficult to keep sufficiently attracted.
I allowed her to do a reverse cowgirl on me ... once! Get it?

Personally, never again.
Why should I? In the end, most spew the same crap anyway so might as well appease the shallow tastes.

SH

 

[Die Hard]

One of ANTI-DUMP's threads comes to mind. Although he is talking about BEHAVIOR, I'd say the same principle can be applied to LOOKS: http://sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=15565

 

[Zarky]

It's true, women who are chubby usually stay that way. Like alcoholism, you're never really "cured." Do you really want to spend months/years nagging her to drop pounds?

Get a chick who has a healthy, fit lifestyle.

 

[pdx1138]

I've been in a similar situation. Here's the thing... For a relationship to work, you must be attracted physically as well as mentally. You will never be able to overlook the fatness. I've tried several times in my life and each time I've had to surrender to the revulsion for fat that I have.

If both the physical and personality are not attractive to you, you don't have a basis for a satisfying relationship.

Thats exactly my experience as well.

I briefly dated two of them (banged one of them). Both gorgeous in the face and just couldn't
get over their size. In fact I felt very "dirty/ashamed" after.

I felt bad for them but can't change the way I think so I went ghost on both.

 

[zekko]

Do you really want to spend months/years nagging her to drop pounds?

Then she falls off the diet and gains it all back in a month.

 

[Jitterbug]

There was a girl who worked retail around my neighbourhood. She has the most beautiful face I've ever seen, and silky long hair but was super fat. Probably about 5'6" and 200 pounds. I had to ask her out for drinks after work just to stare at that face, but whenever I did the usual flirty touches (hand on waist - or lack thereof) I got turned off. My visual processor had a huge and confusing fight with my d1ck that time.

Apparently she had some knee and hip problems that stopped her from exercising. Excuses... Best not to get involved, I say.

 

[Zarky]

Then she falls off the diet and gains it all back in a month.

Yup, it's like alcoholism. You're the "savior" who constantly has to save them from their addiction. It's a twisted game and one I avoid like the plague.

 

[yuppaz]

I just went through this. She lost some weight while I put on a challenge with her, but as soon as it was over she was hitting up the night life and eating fatty foods. She was on the way, looking hot then slipping and more slipping until worse then when I met her. I wasn't turned on at all anymore and was grossed out at the though of sex. But she was SOOOO NICE that I felt bad for breaking it off...and stayed with her for a year longer then I should have. OP - save yourself...cut bait. You can't be the reason someone get's fit because that motivation will go away over time.