narcissist
Master Don Juan
I am simply articulating these two concepts for myself in order to understand my current position in life. If this helps you, then that is also good.
We all know what abundance is. Abundance mindset is the antithesis of scarcity mindset. It is when you have everything you "need" and so you are ridden of insecurities and negative emotional fluctuations that cause behaviours, such as neediness, clinginess, and maladaptive trust issues. Now this is a working definition and as you will see below abundance can really manifest itself in two distinct variations and the definition, or paradigm, matters. Also, just as a caveat to the below discussion, I believe that these definitions or paradigms are deeper psychological ones, that must be understood on a fundamental level rather than simply reading something and agreeing with it. By understanding these definitions on a more fundamentally psychological level you will either experience ego abundance or genuine abundance.
Ego Abundance
A short anecdote:
I experienced ego abundance this past week. Let me explain. I have been for the past 2 months dealing with inner trust issues with my girlfriend (who for all intents and purposes has not displayed any valid reason for me to be mistrusting). I posit that this derives from more fundamental psychological factors that inevitably puts myself in scarcity. And as a result, I act out in ways that are egoic. Ego has momentum and so I took a week to recalibrate myself. In that week I was determined to get back to gaming and put myself in an abundance mindset and get back to working on my skills with women. I spent the first day not really doing much. The second day I went out gaming downtown Toronto, but ended up not really happening. Then that night me and my friend went to a mall near my house and I started opening cashier sets, and focusing on not ejecting out of the conversation when the sets became awkward or uncomfortable. This was a breakthrough. I opened probably 7 sets and the interactions were quite long. The next day, I went to work, (at the same mall), and I was opening sets and approaching women all day. The sets werent becoming awkward and for the first time in a while I was actually killing it with women. It seemed like every single woman I talked to was incredibly intrigued. My emotional projection was on point as well. Whatever mood I was in, they became. I felt pretty god-damn great. It especially felt good when I talked to a cashier (8.5) at the mall who was objectively better looking than my girl (who is a 7.5 in looks) and this girl was absolutely into me immediately. it was a high, it was a rush. To not have to think about my girlfriend was intoxicating. I started getting c0cky. I was asking cashiers for free sh1t, and surprisingly enough I got a bunch of free sh1t. I got free tea, I got free rides on these little kiddie motorcycle things that usually cost about 10$ per ride, and I got free food, because these girls wanted to feed me. I started to feel like a king, with plates gathering me whatever I pleased. This was bound to fail. This was bound to crash. My state became contingent on the interactions and positive responses that these girls were giving me. I noticed this because I stopped going to the cashier who were kind of b1tchy or not entirely interested, and EXCLUSIVELY went to the women who were extremely attracted to me. I craved the validation. I was in ego abundance. I craved the high that abundance gave me, and so I allowed myself to get carried away. But what happens when your state is contingent on the responses of other women? When they take away the response you want you crash. It is not genuine abundance.
I posit that ego abundance derives from the above definition quite specifically. I want to focus on the idea of having everything you need. People in game begin to posit that they need girls to be attracted to them, and that they need toa ct particular ways so that girls become receptive to them. It goes so far as to use sex for validation purposes. "Yes! mark another fvck down for me!" "Im such a player!" "Girls loves me." This mentality comes from a deep inner psychological lacking that many in the pua community attempt to fill with the validation and attention they receive from women. They put themselves in ego abundance, which for all intents and purposes can be defined as temporarily filling the deep inner psychological lack with validation from women so as to feel complete or worthy. Its a band aid solution to something that can only be fixed by looking inward. Now my deep psychological lacking must be something along the lines of feeling unworthy of having women, etc etc, and that is why I can fall into scarcity so easily. And that is why I get such a high from girls being really receptive to me. So a lot of what ego abundance is, relies on the notion that within you, you have a lacking which you posit as something you need to fill/fix/solve/deal with etc. And many in the pua community are under the impression that having loads of women be attracted to them and loyal to them and subservient to them and in love with them etc etc is the solution to this inner lacking.
Genuine abundance
There are two problems with the above paradigm that obstruct ones reaching true genuine abundance:
1. there is no fundamental lacking, that is simply and illusion, and you are already complete and
2. the way to abundance is not through attaining needs but through relinquishing illusions of lacking.
Genuine abundance is when you actually don't need anything from the interactions you engage in. When there is no psychological motivations underlying the approaches that you do. This can only become the case when you have looked inward and determined yourself as already fundamentally complete - mind you, I am not advocating for you to stop bettering yourself because you are "complete" I just mean that your self worth should be contingent on a fundamental level of being and trust and love in yourself rather than extrinsic factors such as women's attraction towards you. This idea that you are lacking something fundamental is an illusion, a chimera. Its something your ego constructs to remain an existing entity. So, to recognize this fact, that there is nothing you need to be complete, because you are already complete, that there is no "love" or attraction you need from women, because you already love yourself fundamentally, is to relinquish the ego's nefarious and destructive need to attain responses out of women, that your ego tricks you into using to determine your self worth.
Genuine abundance comes from realizing your fundamental self worth, because you are already complete, and thus relinquishing the illusion that you need approaches to go a particular way in order to keep your egoic self worth on a scaffold. In doing so, no matter how the interactions go, no matter how your relationships go, you will be fine, and okay, and your self worth will not be damaged, because its something deep within not to be determined extrinsically.
We all know what abundance is. Abundance mindset is the antithesis of scarcity mindset. It is when you have everything you "need" and so you are ridden of insecurities and negative emotional fluctuations that cause behaviours, such as neediness, clinginess, and maladaptive trust issues. Now this is a working definition and as you will see below abundance can really manifest itself in two distinct variations and the definition, or paradigm, matters. Also, just as a caveat to the below discussion, I believe that these definitions or paradigms are deeper psychological ones, that must be understood on a fundamental level rather than simply reading something and agreeing with it. By understanding these definitions on a more fundamentally psychological level you will either experience ego abundance or genuine abundance.
Ego Abundance
A short anecdote:
I experienced ego abundance this past week. Let me explain. I have been for the past 2 months dealing with inner trust issues with my girlfriend (who for all intents and purposes has not displayed any valid reason for me to be mistrusting). I posit that this derives from more fundamental psychological factors that inevitably puts myself in scarcity. And as a result, I act out in ways that are egoic. Ego has momentum and so I took a week to recalibrate myself. In that week I was determined to get back to gaming and put myself in an abundance mindset and get back to working on my skills with women. I spent the first day not really doing much. The second day I went out gaming downtown Toronto, but ended up not really happening. Then that night me and my friend went to a mall near my house and I started opening cashier sets, and focusing on not ejecting out of the conversation when the sets became awkward or uncomfortable. This was a breakthrough. I opened probably 7 sets and the interactions were quite long. The next day, I went to work, (at the same mall), and I was opening sets and approaching women all day. The sets werent becoming awkward and for the first time in a while I was actually killing it with women. It seemed like every single woman I talked to was incredibly intrigued. My emotional projection was on point as well. Whatever mood I was in, they became. I felt pretty god-damn great. It especially felt good when I talked to a cashier (8.5) at the mall who was objectively better looking than my girl (who is a 7.5 in looks) and this girl was absolutely into me immediately. it was a high, it was a rush. To not have to think about my girlfriend was intoxicating. I started getting c0cky. I was asking cashiers for free sh1t, and surprisingly enough I got a bunch of free sh1t. I got free tea, I got free rides on these little kiddie motorcycle things that usually cost about 10$ per ride, and I got free food, because these girls wanted to feed me. I started to feel like a king, with plates gathering me whatever I pleased. This was bound to fail. This was bound to crash. My state became contingent on the interactions and positive responses that these girls were giving me. I noticed this because I stopped going to the cashier who were kind of b1tchy or not entirely interested, and EXCLUSIVELY went to the women who were extremely attracted to me. I craved the validation. I was in ego abundance. I craved the high that abundance gave me, and so I allowed myself to get carried away. But what happens when your state is contingent on the responses of other women? When they take away the response you want you crash. It is not genuine abundance.
I posit that ego abundance derives from the above definition quite specifically. I want to focus on the idea of having everything you need. People in game begin to posit that they need girls to be attracted to them, and that they need toa ct particular ways so that girls become receptive to them. It goes so far as to use sex for validation purposes. "Yes! mark another fvck down for me!" "Im such a player!" "Girls loves me." This mentality comes from a deep inner psychological lacking that many in the pua community attempt to fill with the validation and attention they receive from women. They put themselves in ego abundance, which for all intents and purposes can be defined as temporarily filling the deep inner psychological lack with validation from women so as to feel complete or worthy. Its a band aid solution to something that can only be fixed by looking inward. Now my deep psychological lacking must be something along the lines of feeling unworthy of having women, etc etc, and that is why I can fall into scarcity so easily. And that is why I get such a high from girls being really receptive to me. So a lot of what ego abundance is, relies on the notion that within you, you have a lacking which you posit as something you need to fill/fix/solve/deal with etc. And many in the pua community are under the impression that having loads of women be attracted to them and loyal to them and subservient to them and in love with them etc etc is the solution to this inner lacking.
Genuine abundance
There are two problems with the above paradigm that obstruct ones reaching true genuine abundance:
1. there is no fundamental lacking, that is simply and illusion, and you are already complete and
2. the way to abundance is not through attaining needs but through relinquishing illusions of lacking.
Genuine abundance is when you actually don't need anything from the interactions you engage in. When there is no psychological motivations underlying the approaches that you do. This can only become the case when you have looked inward and determined yourself as already fundamentally complete - mind you, I am not advocating for you to stop bettering yourself because you are "complete" I just mean that your self worth should be contingent on a fundamental level of being and trust and love in yourself rather than extrinsic factors such as women's attraction towards you. This idea that you are lacking something fundamental is an illusion, a chimera. Its something your ego constructs to remain an existing entity. So, to recognize this fact, that there is nothing you need to be complete, because you are already complete, that there is no "love" or attraction you need from women, because you already love yourself fundamentally, is to relinquish the ego's nefarious and destructive need to attain responses out of women, that your ego tricks you into using to determine your self worth.
Genuine abundance comes from realizing your fundamental self worth, because you are already complete, and thus relinquishing the illusion that you need approaches to go a particular way in order to keep your egoic self worth on a scaffold. In doing so, no matter how the interactions go, no matter how your relationships go, you will be fine, and okay, and your self worth will not be damaged, because its something deep within not to be determined extrinsically.
