Effective method for a gloomy guy?

[superchristx]

First lemme introduce myself. I am a 21 year old virgin, I beat my meat 2x a day... when I'm really busy. I also smoke pot every day, this is how its been for two, three years. I've had a few girlfriends and I ate their pussies, got head a few times but since I jack off so much I had could never or never felt that I could get it up for them. I have never told anyone this.

I'm a very serious, gloomy guy. I'm tall and (prolly) handsome, I have deepset eyes and I know I can be very intimidating. Emotionally I am filled with bitterness and when I get the feeling a woman doesnt appreciate me I forget her. If she says some dumb **** I forget her. Sorry if I've typed too much, I have more to say.

I'm quitting weed beacuse I find it makes me complacent about a life that doesnt satisfy me, I've cashed out my business and put away my bowl and scale. I've also been lifting my barbell everytime I get the urge to get stoned. I'm serious this time I want to change, I fully intend to enroll in the next bootcamp.

I guess my question is, I dont want to change who I am. I could act different when meeting women, but that would just piss me off, that she didnt want me for who I really am. Is there a guide or a school of thought that would be good for guys with a naturally serious, gloomy demeanor? I know dark guys can pick up chicks I just have no idea how.

 

[516]

Well there are alot of things that you really should be doing if you want to help get chicks but one good quick way is just to start watching alot of standup comedy and alot of comedy movies. I can add more later but its almost 2am here and yeah im tired.

 

[MetalFortress]

Why would you WANT to be so dark and gloomy? That just sounds like no fun at all.

 

[cave dweller]

choice........

Chris,

Hey, it is your life and it is your choice.

You can lay up on your sorry, lazy, dead @ss and be a 'pot head' and a loser or you can quit the dope, get a job, enroll in some classes, of some type, and make something of your life.

ie:

Quit being a pvssy and be a man..................

cave dweller

 

[I-am-someone]

I feel like I'm looking in a mirror here...

I was just like you until I registered here (mostly because of the reason I registered here ofcourse).
When I came here, I stopped smoking pot for the simple reason that I realized: Smoking pot makes me lazy, being lazy is quite comfortable but it does NOT make you happy at all.
I then stopped jacking off for a few weeks with the occasional "lightening the load" one every week. Deleted all my porn. I don't think your "problems" came from jacking off too much though, it has more to do with the pot.
Then, at the same time, I stopped smoking, which was easy because I was pretty dedicated.

I made one rule for each of the things I quit: If it is going to make the situation I am in at that time better, I will consider doing it, otherwise not.

Then I went out and bought some new clothes, which did some wonders for my image, but most of all my self-image. If you're going to change stuff about yourself, you need to be able to tell so on the outside as well.

Started hanging out with other people, because if you keep on hanging out with the same stoners you used to hang out with, it's not going to go very well. It didn't happen to me because I was pretty self-confident about it, but they will usually to convert you back into a stoner, so be strong and confident about your decision.


As for wanting to remain yourself, you haven't really got a choice. If you want to improve your personality, you will have to change no matter what. I've done it, and it makes life a lot more interesting (when you're actually out there instead of being a Keyboard Jockey like I have been lately). All change for the better makes life more fun, and that's what it's all about in the end. If you can change who you are so that you can become a better individual, you should by all means do so.

 

[Alpine]

You will have a lot more trouble in life other than women with your outlook. If you feel it's a part of you fine, but you need to control it otherwise your life will be sh1te and one day you will die.

Sounds to me like you just lack a sense of purpose. That is, you don't really find anything important enough to you to get off your backside and do anything.

It may be a revelation that most people go through a phase like you, and just one day decide enough is enough, they suddenly get an interest in something that fuels some desire and it snowballs very quickly from there. Suddenly their outlook is more positive.

The more you think about it the more this maybe could happen to you too.

 

[squirrels]

Originally posted by superchristx
Is there a guide or a school of thought that would be good for guys with a naturally serious, gloomy demeanor? I know dark guys can pick up chicks I just have no idea how.

Hit on Goth chicks.

That's about it. Not many people like hanging around depressed people.
I don't understand why you're putting so much effort into things like quitting weed and hitting the gym and then can claim that you DON'T want to make your life better. I think you DO want to be someone else.

There's two of all of us...the person we ARE, and the person we WANT TO BE. There's no shame in changing who you ARE to be what you WANT TO BE.

Don't stick to a definition of "you" just because it's what you've always known. There's a difference between being proud of who you are and stubbornly refusing natural change/improvement to maintain that self-image.

 

[dearsappho]

Theres no such thing as a naturally gloomy demeanour (wtf man?)

Human beings are born to be happy and radiate that towards others.

If you dont wanna change this its because your scared of the power is within you.

Ditch the gloom and the fog will lift forever.

 

[I-am-someone]

Don't worry guys... He will figure it out one day.
I just hope it'll be soon because right now he's just wasting good time.

 

[Desdinova]

I'm a very serious, gloomy guy. I'm tall and (prolly) handsome, I have deepset eyes and I know I can be very intimidating. Emotionally I am filled with bitterness

Who the hell wants to hang around a "gloomy" guy? You sound like one of those dudes that thrives on your depression, bitterness, unhappiness and all that other 5hit so you can function in your daily life.

Using this crap as a foundation for your life is like building your house on mud. It's gonna shift, sink, and do all kinds of fvcked up things.

You've got to find a foundation that isn't unstable. Try building your life on your own personal happiness and things will improve.

 

[superchristx]

understood

Maybe I overemphasized some things in my post, like I said I'm ready to change and I appreciate your criticism... some of it.

I went out to try the first week of BC exercises, sustaining eyecontact and smiling at strangers, but getting people to look at you without saying something is hard. so instead I just started up some conversations, sat down at a couple tables with a stranger, basically stuff I already knew how to do but didnt have the balls for. Talking to these people is like pulling teeth I dont know the questions that will get them talking.

So I talked to a Bratislavian girl who was reading a TOEFL book. I knew she was foreign so it was easy, I could ask 'where are you from' but it didnt go anywhere from there. I suppose because she was doing something.

Then I talked to a girl with big tits, she worked at Victoria's Secret and is a polysci major.

Then I went in to Aldo's and pretended like I wanted to buy some shoes. The sales girl was not very helpful or attractive...

I also talked to a black girl on the bus with colored contacts and a scratchy voice, she was pretty hot and intimidating (hoodrat), I couldnt build any kind of repoir w/ her.

and a dude at the bus stop, a Saute cook like me. He didnt speak much english and I dont speak much spanish but it was cool.

and a girl on the subway, she turned out to be married but this was the only conversation I could actually sustain. I suppose because she had a career and that's something easy to talk about, whereas the rest were just girls with retail and salon jobs.

So that's it for today (Friday 2-11) I'm going to do the eyecontact exercises over the next couple days and then work up to talking to women, and building rapport even when there's nothing worth talking about.

I'm gonna keep posting in this thread until a fresh bootcamp starts.

 

[Mr. Delicious]

Originally posted by superchristx
First lemme introduce myself. I am a 21 year old virgin, I beat my meat 2x a day...

Greatest introduction line ever hahahaha

 

[00Kevin]

you really need to worry about your life before you worry about a girl.

I would suggest that you get off your ass and get your life in order first.

You don't have to change who you are you just have to get off your ass. Being lazzy is a sickness. Don't ever think that it is part of who you are. Being Gloomy, smoking pot, and being lazzy has nothing to do with who you are as a man. You have a sickness and you need to get well. If you don't you will never grow as a man.


It is also important not to think that you know who you are". No man truely knows that. Life is all about figuring that out. Only at the end of your life will you be able to answer those questions. You won't know what kind of man you are until you are old. You need to learn how to live your life and stop thinking that you have yourself figured out. When a man says, "this is how I am and this is why I'm that way" he will die of shame.

 

[superchristx]

Let me set something straight ....

Though I'm sure nobody is reading beyond the first post, I never said I didnt have a job, or that I was flunking out of school. I do fine in both and NOBODY that knows me would call me lazy. I'm a line cook, which is tougher than most jobs and I am on track to become a chef in a decade or so.

I am trying not to take any of this advice personally, I want to change and you guys are telling me to change, and thats good. But this is negative reinforcement, which doesn't usually get people to perform. I guess it just makes some people feel big. I'm gonna keep posting in this thread nomatter how many snyde comments I get.

 

[cave dweller]

car?

Chris,

What kind of a car do you drive?

cave dweller

 

[Reiki]

Go to the library, or buy, Psycho Cybernetics, either the new version or the older one.

Im sure it will help resolve most of the issues your having.

 

[I-am-someone]

I second Reiki's advice
Good book, worth a whole lot more than it costs.

 

[Dingus]

I don't think you have to change who you are or what you believe in to meet women. However, it wouldn't kill you to try smiling a little more would it? I used to be really gloomy back when I was in High School because I suffered from horrible depression. Eventually I became completely fed up with it and decided I would change the way I was viewing the world. I try to take everything with a grain of salt and not take things too seriously. I feel so much better doing this and peoples reaction to me have obviously improved. Except for a select few, most people want to be around people that feel good and aren't depressed and gloomy all the time. Yet through this process I haven't changed who I am or my beliefs.
It's really hard not be gloomy with all the horrible **** that is going on in the world right now.