When dj'ing a woman, it is crucial to know how to converse with her effectively. Especially on the first date and while breaking the ice. If you've read any of this site then you know that open-ended questions are one key to mastering the art of conversation, here are a couple more.
The number one thing you must do to become an effective conversationalist is relax. In fact, this is really the only thing you need to do, I'm not kidding. A lull in conversation is often the result of tension. You're so uptight about your performance and how well you're conversing with/dj'ing her that you divert focus from her and as a result you'll miss many opportunities for effective conversation. When you're worried about how well you're conversing with her not only are you less effective in conversation, you're less fun to converse with. Have you ever found conversing with women over IM so simple yet conversing face to face much more difficult? That's because over IM, everything she says is right there in front of you and impossible to miss. But in real life, your tension will cause you to miss a lot of things and that will make conversing with her more difficult
Another big mistake people make constantly while conversing with a woman is when they hear something that she says and it reminds them of something and all they do is wait until she's done talking so that they can start talking about what came into their mind. This is a horrible mistake to make because it causes you to miss so much! This right here is one of the worst mistakes you can make when conversing with a woman (other than the obvious ones like whining about your ex and the like). Because your focus is on what you were reminded of and what you want to bring up, you miss much of what she says there after and much of that can be branched off into conversation. This is a very foolish mistake made by many people, AFC's and aspiring don juans alike. A similar probem people have is when she says something and all of a sudden that makes an open ended question or something else you can say pop in your head. When this happens, people cling to that and wait until she's finished talking just so they can bring it up. By doing this you miss one opportunity after another. Don't focus your attention on what you're going to say next, focus it on her.
This along with the knowledge of open-ended questions alone will make you a very effective conversationalist. To some of you it may not sound like it's possible but it is, I know because I used to be one of you but I found through experience that by merely directing your attention to her rather than how well you're conversing with her, you become an excellent conversationalist, and in doing so you appear more relaxed and henceforth, more fun to be with.
The number one thing you must do to become an effective conversationalist is relax. In fact, this is really the only thing you need to do, I'm not kidding. A lull in conversation is often the result of tension. You're so uptight about your performance and how well you're conversing with/dj'ing her that you divert focus from her and as a result you'll miss many opportunities for effective conversation. When you're worried about how well you're conversing with her not only are you less effective in conversation, you're less fun to converse with. Have you ever found conversing with women over IM so simple yet conversing face to face much more difficult? That's because over IM, everything she says is right there in front of you and impossible to miss. But in real life, your tension will cause you to miss a lot of things and that will make conversing with her more difficult
Another big mistake people make constantly while conversing with a woman is when they hear something that she says and it reminds them of something and all they do is wait until she's done talking so that they can start talking about what came into their mind. This is a horrible mistake to make because it causes you to miss so much! This right here is one of the worst mistakes you can make when conversing with a woman (other than the obvious ones like whining about your ex and the like). Because your focus is on what you were reminded of and what you want to bring up, you miss much of what she says there after and much of that can be branched off into conversation. This is a very foolish mistake made by many people, AFC's and aspiring don juans alike. A similar probem people have is when she says something and all of a sudden that makes an open ended question or something else you can say pop in your head. When this happens, people cling to that and wait until she's finished talking just so they can bring it up. By doing this you miss one opportunity after another. Don't focus your attention on what you're going to say next, focus it on her.
This along with the knowledge of open-ended questions alone will make you a very effective conversationalist. To some of you it may not sound like it's possible but it is, I know because I used to be one of you but I found through experience that by merely directing your attention to her rather than how well you're conversing with her, you become an excellent conversationalist, and in doing so you appear more relaxed and henceforth, more fun to be with.
. Yeah, its better to be very relaxed in all contextes talking about any subject. Great job!
